Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Somedays I wonder if there is a portal into another dimension on
my desk or perhaps I am just losing my mind. I went out yesterday
afternoon and got a money order to pay the phone bill with. I came
into the house and set my wallet, keys, a new prescription, and the
money order in front of my keyboard and started to gather the items
together to pay the bill. I picked up a stack of mail from the upper
shelf of my work station which contains a second monitor hooked up
to a computer running Windows 98. Underneath that shelf is an area
that I use to store all of my prescription bottles and a plastic tray
that
contains all of the meds I currently am taking. I went through the
stack
of mail and removed a bill and the envelope and set it back up on the
shelf, I then realized I needed a stamp so I got the stack of mail
down
again and went through it till I found the page of stamps and put one
on the envelope. I put the stack of mail away and reached for the
money
order and it was gone I moved things around and then went through
the stack of mail a third time and found nothing, so I went through
it
one more time and made a pile of old bills, credit card ads and
expired
Arby's coupons to get rid of but still no money order. I grabbed my
Mag-lite
and looked in all of the nooks and crannies of the three tiered
shelves and
still no money order. Keep in mind I hadn't moved my chair since
coming in
so the distance it could move was the length of my arms or a 67 inch
circle.
I was starting to feel pretty exasperated with the whole deal and
started to
search the unobvious places, the tops of the monitors, the floor and
the top
of the tower and when I came to the prescription bag I looked in it
and
removed the patient information sheets and set the bottle on the
shelf and
there in the tray of meds is the money order a foot away from my face
and
a few inches below eye level. I grabbed a pen and filled out the
money order
and then realized the stamped envelope was gone so it was back into
the mail
pile a fourth time. Finding the envelope I stuffed everything inside
and had the
daughter take it to the post office before it could get lost again.
After that
ordeal if I was still a drinking man and the Gin Mill hadn't burnt
down I think
it would have been a good time to go have a pitcher or four.
Hope you are doing fine .... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please visit our Sponsor
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tupelo's Own
ELVIS PRESLEY
Never Before Have We Seen An Elvis Concert From The 50's With Sound
UNTIL
NOW!
Contains:
Recently discovered UNRELEASED FILM with sound of Elvis performing 6
songs
live in Tupelo
Mississippi 1956. Further unseen footage contains backstage, evening
show,
parade and many more.
PLUS : Interview with Elvis in the 1957 Tupelo show, NEVER BEFORE
HEARD!
The DVD Audio section contains 21 tracks of the two shows from Tupelo
1956
Concerts.
http://buffalosjoke
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Welsh Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Welsh man walking through a field, sees a man drinking water from a
pool
with his hand.
The Welsh man shouts
"Paid a yfed y dwr mae'r gwartheg yn cachi yn y dwr"
(Don't drink the water, it's full of cow s***.) The man shouts
back "I'm
English, Speak English, I don't understand you".
The Welsh man shouts back
"Use both hands, you'll get more in"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Viagra
http://www.buffalos
Cunnilingus
http://www.buffalos
Feel Elvis
http://www.buffalos
Clean Cooze
http://www.lablaugh
<a href="http://www.lablaugh
</a>
Real World
http://www.lablaugh
<a href="http://www.lablaugh
</a>
Gobbling
http://www.buffalos
Can't Concentrate
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Drink Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
On an out of town business trip, after a meeting in the afternoon and
the obligatory dinner that evening with the client, I went to my hotel
room, watched some late-night TV and turned in at about midnight.
After
tossing and turning for over an hour I decided to give it up for a
time
and go down to the hotel bar for a drink. At that time of night - it
was
now close to 1:30 - the bar was almost deserted. As I slid onto a
barstool I noticed a lonely looking guy at the end of the bar just
sitting, without a drink in front of him, just looking down at his
hands. When the bartender roused himself, came over and
asked, "what'll
you have?" I replied, "Let me have a bourbon old fashion, and see what
the guy at the end of the bar is drinking." When the drinks came, the
man at the end of the bar raised his glass in a gesture of thanks and
all was silent for a time. When I finished my drink I called to the
bartender for another, adding, "But this time, leave out the fruit."
The
other guy stiffened, visibly angry, and shouted, "Screw you mister, I
didn't want the first drink!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Show off your glow with your FREE** Sample of Hawaiian Tropic Firming
Island
Glow
Just take our survey and complete participation requirements where
you
sample and purchase
products of interest.
* Great for all skin tones
* Non-streaking
* Dries quickly
* Aloe enriched
* Enriched with Erythrulose - a natural color extender
* Extreme Moisturizing - up to 12 hours
* Controllable color
* Soothing Green Tea fragrance
* Non-comedogenic
* Antioxidant Vitamins A, C & E
HERE NOW!
http://buffalosjoke
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny was sitting on his backyard swing set with some of his
sixth grade schoolmates one Saturday when they started to tell some
jokes to each other.
Little Susie started off by saying, "Knock, knock?"
Everyone answered, "Who's there?"
Susie says, "Boo!"
Everyone replied, "Boo who?"
To which Susie said, "Why are you all crying?" and everyone broke out
laughing.
At this point, Little Johnny got up and started into his joke, "Hey,
did
you all hear about the prostitute who got fingered by Captain Hook?"
Immediately, Johnny's mother, who was nearby watering the roses and
had
heard Johnny start off, came rushing over and shouted, "Alright
Johnny!
That's enough! In fact, all of you kids can go home now. Leave,
please."
The following Saturday, Johnny again invited his friends over, this
time
to play some video games. During a lull in the action, Johnny said to
everyone, "You know, there's a rumor going around that a busload of
prostitutes will be leaving in the morning for that big gold find up
in
Alaska, and they say..."
This time again, Johnny's mother was in the kitchen and came stomping
in
after having heard him. She said demandingly as she gathered his
friends
together and shuffled them towards the door, "Okay kids, it's getting
late. All of you will have to leave now."
Little Johnny was puzzled and yelled back at them, "Hey! Hold on, hold
on! There's still plenty of time 'cause the bus doesn't leave till
morning!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Get your FREE* Sample of Oreo Cakesters (Soft Snack Cakes)
Get your hands on 3 boxes of soft, moist, fresh chocolate snack cakes,
filled with a
thick layer of smooth, one-of-a-kind Oreo Creme. Comes in two
varieties:
Original and Chocolate
Creme.
12 Cakes x3
Just take our survey and complete participation requirements where you
sample products of interest.
CLICK TO CHOOSE YOUR FLAVOR
http://buffalosjoke
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Saturday Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mark Your Calendar For Next Saturday!
As you may already know, it is a sin for a Muslim male
to see any woman other than his wife naked, and that
he must commit suicide if he does.
So next Saturday at 4 PM. Eastern Time all American
women are asked to walk out of their house completely
naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists.
Circling your block for one hour is recommended for
this anti-terrorist effort.
All men are to position themselves in lawn chairs
in front of their house to prove they are not Muslims,
and to demonstrate they think it's okay to see nude
women other than their wife and to show support for
all American women.
Since Islam also does not approve of alcohol, a cold
6-pack at your side is further proof of your anti-terrorist
sentiment.
The American government appreciates your efforts to
root out terrorists and applauds your participation in
this anti-terrorist activity.
dianeM
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Until recently companies conducted surveys by either going to the
mall, cold
calling households
during the day or evening and by walking thru neighborhoods going
from house
to house asking
people to take their companies survey.
With the growing usage of the Internet survey companies have found it
cheaper to conduct
consumer surveys online. In fact, survey companies are saving so much
money
because of the
Internet they are willing to pay you for your opinion.
Find out how!
http://buffalosjoke
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Newlywed Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was the first night for a newly wed couple.
The bride was still a virgin because she is afraid of dicks,
especially large ones and she's heard all about black men and how
well hung they are.
To make his white bride feel at ease, the groom said to the her, "OK,
I am going to go outside and slowly show you my dick through the
door. Stay calm, there is nothing to be afraid."
So he walked out, leaving the door slightly ajar and then stuck a
little bit of his dick through the gap and asked, "Does that scare
you?"
She chuckled a little and said, "Nope!"
He then pushed a little more through the gap and again he
asked, "Does that scare you?"
"Nope," she replied. He pushed some more through the gap and
asked, "Does that scare you?"
"Nope," she said laughing.
He then said, "Alright, you seem to be okay with it. I am coming up
the stairs now!"
Gilbert
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Which Celebrity Are YOU most like?
Use the Celebrity Calculator TO FIND OUT NOW!
HERE!
http://buffalosjoke
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Did you hear about the stressed out Priest who went to the Doctor in
a panic and asked him, "What does it mean Doc, when I go pee it
burns like the Fire of Satan and I have this God awful drip?"
The Doc,smiled and said, "It means the Altar boy lied. He wasn't a
Virgin."
Two hookers were on a street corner.
They started discussing business, and one of the hookers said,
"Gonna be a good night, I smell cock in the air."
The other hooker looked at her and said, "No, I just burped."
Q: Did you hear that Hollywood is going to remake the exorcist?
A: Its about a mother who hires the Devil to get a priest out of her
son!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lipton Green Tea To Go - FREE* Sample!
Take your tea with you wherever you go.
New Lipton Green Tea To Go brews in cold water so you can carry it
with you
anywhere. Add it to your water bottle and have freshly-brewed iced tea
anytime, anywhere!
>>Get Your FREE* Sample Now<<
http://buffalosjoke
*See Terms and Gift Rules
~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail
to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Is This Not The Land Of Beulah by Marlene
http://summerhoosie
TWENTY IDEAS FOR A KINDER WORLD
http://www.wtv-
Fleeting Moment
http://romancefromt
Martha w/WWII and Beyond
http://www.epicurea
*+*+*+*+*+*+
AV Advance Anti-virus Message Center: You may need to update your
Anti-virus security settings as soon as possible:
Press here to update your Anti-virus security settings or read below
for more information:
http://123.fluxads.
There is a high possibility that your PC's Anti-virus security
settings may become exploited by malicious hackers without your
knowledge. This could easily lead to the following attacks:
- Unwanted Virus Downloads
- Unwanted Personal Identity Theft
- Credit Card Theft
- Uncontrollable Trojan horse attacks
- Internet Worm Attacks
- The running of unwanted script programs
- The installation of malicious spyware
If your PC is not protected correctly then these attacks could allow
hackers to track your movements across the Internet. It also means
that your information, ranging from passwords to credit card numbers,
can be stored by sites that you visit. A successful hacker could
examine this information and extract it, setting the stage for
identity theft, credit card fraud, or worse.
Once your Anti-virus security settings are stabalized your PC will be
able to defend itself from unwanted attacks.
Some unknown or untrusted websites use script programs to change your
home page, modify your web history, display advertisements, disable
your back button, or redirect you to different websites without your
consent. Such scripts have also been recently used by Russian hackers
to silently install viruses on end-user's computers.
One way to protect your PC is to download this new Anti-virus
software program.
Press here to run the Anti-virus system scan now:
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
Here is a HYSTERICAL Ebay listing. Via Lesley
http://cgi.ebay.
Buzzdash Opinion Polls
http://buzzdash.
Baby Carrots Recalled
http://www.msnbc.
Picnic Recipes, Tailgate Recipes, and Backyard
Recipes Homepage
http://www.alanskit
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Your PC may be suffering from serious memory leaks which may be the
reason why your PC is running so slow.
Below are instructions that will enable you to Increase Your
Computer's Speed, Power, Stability and Reliability in Just Five
Minutes:
Use it RISK FREE For 30 Days On YOUR Computer!
Our software will increase your computer SPEED up to 200%, as well as
increasing your Internet SPEED!
Completely AUTOMATIC, EASY TO INSTALL, Even easier to use, and No
Computer Knowledge Needed!
Learn for yourself why we're recommended by ZDNet, PC Magazine, CNet,
and Millions of Users!
Press below to download:
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Yahoo Pipes
http://pipes.
Popfly
http://www.popfly.
Tech Dictionary
http://www.techdict
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Your PC may be suffering from serious file errors in your WINDOWS
registry
which may be the reason why your PC is running so slow, or crashing
and
freezing from time to time. Also, these can lead to major system
problems
and possible memory leaks.
Below are instructions that will enable you to Increase Your
Computer's
Speed, Power, Stability and Reliability in just a few minutes.
If after completing the free Diagnostic Test it is brought to your
attention
that your computer's registry does contain file "errors", then it may
be in
your computer's best interest to fix the potentially harmful file
errors in
your registry.
Press below to launch the Diagnostics Test download now:
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.otn.
Kitty Korner
http://www.moggies.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Here is some more information about this new way to watch television:
1) All of the programming is uncensored!
2) There are hundreds of channels from around the world to watch! And
new channels are added every day!
3) Hundreds of Radio stations to listen to anytime, all of the time!
And
new stations are added daily!
4) All of these channels are available 24 hours per day right from
your
PC and laptop!
5) No additional hardware is needed!
6) You won't have to pay a cable or satellite bill any longer!
Press Here For More Information and To Download Now:
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Run Spyware Nuker and find out if you need more protection
than what you have.
Are companies watching your online activity?
Do you have dangerous "SpyWare" installed on your PC?
If you're surfing online, there's a 93% chance you do!
Scan your system now ABSOLUTELY FREE & Find Out!
PRESS HERE:
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movies
Stranger Game
http://www.buffalos
The Whole World In His Hands
http://buffalosjoke
Alarm
http://www.buffalos
Cool Parrot
http://www.buffalos
Animal Thieves
http://www.buffalos
Ring My Bell
http://www.buffalos
Yoga
http://buffalosjoke
Home Loan
http://www.buffalos
Wrong Word, Wrong Time
http://www.buffalos
Aussie Peek A Boo
http://www.buffalos
A Women's Worst Nightmare
http://www.buffalos
How to get Naked Fast
http://www.buffalos
Bad Monkey
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Balance Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for
six days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on
the seventh day.
He inquired of God, "Where have you been?"
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed
downwards through the clouds, "Look Michael, look what I've
made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"
"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going
to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."
"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, "For
example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and
wealth while Southern Europe is going to be poor. Over there I've
placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent
of black people."
God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be
extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and
covered in ice."
The Archangel, impressed by Gods work, then pointed to a large
land mass in the top corner and asked, "What's that one?"
"Ah," said God. "That's Canada, the most glorious place on Earth.
There are beautiful mountains, lakes, rivers, streams and an
exquisite coastline. The people from Canada are going to be
modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found
traveling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard working
and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world
as diplomats and carriers of peace. I'm also going to give them
superhuman, undefeatable ice hockey players who will be admired
and feared by all who come across them."
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed,
"What about balance, God? You said there would be BALANCE!"
God replied wisely,
"Wait until you see the loud-mouth bastards I'm putting next to
them."
HDOME
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here's a convenient and economical way to get your hands on the four
most
popular cordless portable power tools: The DeWalt 18-Volt Cordless
Combo Kit
includes a hammer drill-drill/
saw, and
flexible floodlight. Get yours Now!
These extremely useful tools can handle most cutting, drilling and
screw-driving jobs, regardless of whether you're a handy homeowner or
a
professional contractor. Best of All, They're Free! (Participation
required.
See below for details.)
>>Get Yours Now<<
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pervert!
http://www.buffalos
Sucking His Finger
http://www.buffalos
Trained
http://www.buffalos
Smile!...
http://www.ezines4a
Plenty of room...
http://www.aikensla
<a href="http://www.aikensla
I've been GOOD!
http://www.aikensla
<a href="http://www.aikensla
Make Wish
http://www.buffalos
Orgasm
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
GIVE YOURSELF A BOOST in the morning or any time of the day with a
quick &
convenient
Kellogg's NUTRIGRAIN Bar. This calcium enriched fruit cereal bar is
great to
grab on-the-go
and you can get 16 right NOW in your favorite flavor for FREE*! To
receive a
sample shipped
directly to your door, simply take our survey and complete the
participation
requirements
where you sample & purchase products of interest.
Choose from these 3 fruit flavors:
. Apple Cinnamon .Blueberry .Strawberry
Who knew that something that tastes this good could be so good for
your body
too!
Each 1.3 oz. NUTRIGRAIN Bar is packed with real fruit and low in fat
to help
you stay balanced and healthy,
>>Get 16 Bars of your favorite NUTRIGRAIN flavor NOW<<
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young lady of Bicester
Who was hotter by far than her sister.
The sister would giggle
And wiggle and jiggle
But the hot one would cum if you kissed her!
There was a young lady of Maine
Who declared she'd a man on the brain.
But you knew from the view
Of the way her waist grew,
It was not on her brain that he'd lain.
Gilbert
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you've been watching TV or reading magazines and newspapers lately,
you've
probably heard
about the "Cookie Diet" and wondered what it was all about. Another
fad
diet, perhaps?
After three decades and 500,000 customers, it's definitely not a fad
HUNGER WRECKS DIETS(TM)
Renowned Miami physician, author and weight loss expert Sanford
Siegal,
D.O., M.D., came to
a realization early in his career: hunger wrecks diets(TM)! So, in
1975, he
developed a special
cookie to help control his patients' hunger and enable them to stick
to
their diets. He instructed
them to eat six cookies per day and one reasonable dinner consisting
of
low-fat protein and some vegetables.
They were to eat the cookies not at fixed times but as needed to
control
hunger. It was that simple.
http://buffalosjoke
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A woman came home just in time to find her husband in bed with
another woman. With superhuman
strength borne of fury, she draqged him down stairs to the garage and
put his tally-whacker in a vice.
She secured it tightly then removed the handle from the vice'.
Next she approached him with a hacksaw.
The husband, terrified, screamed "Stop! Stop! You're not going
to...to...cut it off are you?"
The wife, with a gleam of revenge in her eye, said "Nope, you are.
I'm going to set the garage on fire.>>
Calif Jack
~~~~~~~~~~~~
101inks.com has a large selection of compatible and remanufactured
cartridges and toners for every printer brand
- Save up to 85% on Printer Inkjet Cartridges & Laser Toners
- Best Quality and 100% Satisfaction Guarantee on all products
- Same day Priority Shipping- no charge*
HP, Epson, Dell, Lexmark, Compaq, Canon, Xerox, Brother & more...
Our customer service is ready to assist you with your order
http://buffalosjoke
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
San Antonio ISD Test: The state public education cannot seem to
adopt a statewide test for more than 5 years. School districts
statewide have used the tests (TABS, TEAMS. TAAS, and now TAKS).
Therefore, San Antonio school districts have adopted a test that
better fit the public education in their city.
The new instrument will be the Texas Assessment of Cognitive
Operations (TACO). It will have a remedial version (Soft TACO), a
regular version (Hard TACO), and an advanced version with many more
pages (the Gordita.) It will be graded on the standard bell curve
(the TACO Bell ). Districts receiving the lowest scores will be put
on probation with a Basic Educational Appraisal-Not Satisfactory
(BEANS). A second low rating earns
the dreaded supplemental Remediation Factor for Individualized
Education Deficits (REFRIED BEANS).
This rating system is expected to cause a lot of hot air at campus
faculty meetings.
Howard
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Opportunity finds you with Climber.com!
Hello, I'm Ascend!
At work do your opinions seem to count? If a new career opportunity
presented itself would you be interested in learning more about it?
Be ready when opportunity knocks!
Through a free online assessment you will be matched with companies
where
your contribution will matter.
- Receive a free Career Evaluation
- Learn about your work values
- Be recruited by companies that meet your criteria
Create your FREE Career Profile today:
http://buffalosjoke
Cheers,
Ascend
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1065
Koming Klean
BJ: Whew what stinks?
Diana: It's your dogs.
BJ: Let me get the dog cologne. Whew!
Sandi: I smell fine it is not me.
SPRAY!!!
Sandi: Ack! That stuff stinks!
BJ: It is better than that dead animal smell you had
on you Sandi.
Sandi sniffling: It was just my recent kill, a racoon.
BJ: I saw it outside...it stinks.
Ginger: Yeah gramps we killed it.
SPRAY!!!
Ginger: Cough! Cough!
BJ: You do not smell so bad now.
Katie: Thanks father. Those two were atrocious.
Rudy: I thought I smelled bad after the skunk incident.
SPRAY!!
Rudy: Hey what was that for?
Katie: I saw you eat those beans.
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
Change settings via the Web (Yahoo! ID required)
Change settings via email: Switch delivery to Daily Digest | Switch format to Traditional
Visit Your Group | Yahoo! Groups Terms of Use | Unsubscribe
__,_._,___
No comments:
Post a Comment