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| |  | | May 03, 2019 | A stranger's shoe closet.
| | This week I don't think you become a journalist unless you are, at your core, a nosy person. (Hi, yep, that's me.) One of my favorite things about my job is getting a glimpse of strangers' lives. I love it so much that I find myself doing it even when I'm off the clock. Ever since I was a teenager, I've been spending weekend mornings at flea markets, thrift stores, rummage sales. What can I say? I just love other people's junk. But estate sales are a particular thrill. I wrote an essay about why I love snooping in strangers' houses, and how the non-joy-sparking items in our homes tell a story about our lives. And on the podcast, I chatted with journalist Maya Dusenbery about how the medical establishment is not set up to take women's pain and symptoms seriously. Some of the stats she shares are jaw-dropping. If you've ever felt dismissed or ignored by a doctor, give it a listen.
| | I'm reading
| | Members only If you were a paying member you'd be seeing a pie chart here about my literal junk. (In contrast to most weeks, when the pie chart is about my spiritual/existential junk.)
| | I'm looking & listening
| | GIFspiration 
| | I endorse Facing the reality of detention in America. This week, Mikki Halpin's ActionNow newsletter had lots of resources on how to be in solidarity with detained immigrants and asylum-seekers, plus info on how widespread detention is. This is not just something happening at the U.S.-Mexico border: Again, Mikki's newsletter has lots of tools and options for getting involved, wherever you live. I was grateful to learn about the Visitation Network, which "seeks to end the isolation and abuse of people in immigration detention by building and strengthening visitation programs."
| | You've got answers Here is a partial list of goals that we have abandoned: - Completing a triathlon. (I can still barely swim.)
- Becoming less socially anxious.
- Being a better swimmer. It made me too anxious, so now I am a runner.
- Running a marathon. I finally came to the realization that I have really big boobs and really flat feet—it was never going to happen.
- Having a baby. No longer a goal, just a possible future, no better or worse than any other.
- Losing weight. I'm a survivor of tough shit, and my appearance doesn't matter when my spirit is this strong.
- I was going to make homemade lollipops. [Ed note: This is like a whole humorous personal essay in one sentence.]
- Becoming a full time, successful, independent jewelry maker and blogger. Why would I want to share so much of my life online? Do you know how many earrings I would have to make and sell to net the same amount I get from my 9-5 nonprofit job? A lot. A whole lot.
- Reclaiming my veganism. [Ed note: I read this in Maxine Waters' voice.]
- Working at the Vienna Opera House.
- Flossing every day. I made the same goal for about 20 years in a row. Never going to happen.
- Maintaining my competitive Scrabble ranking.
- Moving to NYC. I've lived in Chicago for 11 years and it would take an act of god to get me to leave this city.
- Being an early riser. Now I realize that people fetishize getting up early as part of a culture of productivity. I like sleeping in and that's okay.
- Wearing rings! I hate the sensation of jewelry on my fingers. Is that weird? [Ed note: Not weird. My jewelry box is full of never-worn rings!]
- Falling in love.
- Dating white people.
- Learning to play the ukulele.
- Being part of a "girl squad." Turns out I was happier cultivating the few close friendships that I did have and learning to spend more time alone.
- Abandoning things. I thought over all the goals I haven't followed through on and thought "nah I still might do that someday!"
- Setting annual goals.
I couldn't include all of the nearly 300 (!!!) answers you submitted, but you can scroll through them here. In summary, I will say this: Collectively, you are extremely OVER pursuing external recognition (like fame and 30-under-30 lists), trying to make yourself smaller ("Lose hate not weight!" - Virgie Tovar), running really long distances when you dislike running, and doing things on other people's timelines. You are all such goal-abandonment inspiration! This was fun, so I'm going to do it for a few more weeks. A new question: What's your favorite way to brush off a bad day? * Note that these are questions that you all submitted as part of my subscriber survey! I love doing this but Google Forms is kind of cumbersome. So if anyone knows of a tool/app that makes it easy to collect short answers to questions, please reply and let me know.
| | | The Classifieds | Tired of talking into an empty void? Take this FREE CLASS class: 5 Writing Mistakes That Are Killing Your Sales and get the 5 easy fixes that’ll take you from “crickets” to clamoring fans and buyers. Hurry, doors close Wednesday!
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This newsletter is poking around in other people's closets.
Forward it to your nosiest friend.
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