The only thing worse than being blind is having
sight but no vision.
Helen Keller
welcome to:
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
HELLO POSTMAN FANS!
So, this is the beginning of our memorial day weekend
here in the States. For the benefit of my international
readers, it is a weekend that is supposed to honor those
who lost their lives in service of the American armed forces.
Originally called Decoration day, it was started shortly after
the civil war to honor both Union and Confederates who lost
their lives. Growing up, I remember fondly a weekend of bbq,
family get togethers, and always, we gathered at the little
country cemetary on Monday for a short service where us grade
schooler band members got to march with the veterans in a little
short parade. These days tho, it is mostly just an excuse for
places like Lowe's to sell yard equipment and lawn furniture.
When did the memorial day morph from a day of recognition
for our heroes to a day of bbq to a weekend for merchants to
make sales?
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
__________________
MEMES AND TOONS
after they cut the grass
your pickup is in the shop
close enough
please God
thank you
attractive nurses
crossing the line
next time
wierd conversations
my pension
out of order
men and women
ouch
the opposite sex
now that he retired he took up painting
A scientist named Walter invented a shrinking ray.
He tried it on himself, and it worked. Unfortunately he couldn't
reverse the process, and he was stuck being the size of a normal man's thumb.
He had a loyal lab assistant who worked with him, though, so his
diminutive size didn't affect Walter's work too much.
Still, after a while, Walter began to long for female companionship.
His lab assistant thought up a highly unethical plan.
He planned to get a couple of ladies of the night, shrink them down to
Walter's size, and keep them shrunk
until they could figure out a way to reverse the process.
The lab assistant went to Times Square and tried to get the young
ladies, but it was trickier than it seemed. They were reluctant to travel
all the way to the lab, but the lab assistant offered to double
their usual rate, so they finally agreed. As soon as they stepped into the
lab, the assistant turned on the shrinking ray. There was a flash of light
and a puff of smoke, and when the air had cleared --- the prostitutes
were exactly the same size as they were before.
"What's the big idea? Eek!"
One of the prostitutes saw Walter scurrying across the floor and
squashed him flat with her shoe.
Walter was dead, and the experiment was ruined.
This was all because the lab assistant forgot what everyone already knows:
... you can lead the whores to Walter, but you can't make 'em shrink
A company, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hires a new CEO.
This new boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers.
On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall.
The room is full of workers and he thinks this is his chance to show everyone he means business!
The CEO walks up the guy and asks, "And how much money do you make a week?"
Undaunted, the young fellow looks at him and replies, "I make $200.00 a week. Why?"
The CEO then hands the guy $200 in cash and screams, "Here's a week's pay,
now GET OUT and don't come back!"
Feeling pretty good about his first firing, the CEO looks around the room and asks, "
Does anyone want to tell me what that slacker did here?"
With a sheepish grin, one of the other workers mutters, "He's the pizza delivery guy."
When does a person decide to become an accountant?
When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.
_______________
JOKES
2 guys were walking down the street
wait until we are married
a young sailor named Bates
tomatoes are a fruit
500 dollars for a virgin whore
when we dance
a baseball quote
a bad drinker
3 cowboys discussing women
your daughter says she loves me
__________________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Possum vs drunk lady
This is why GOATS&SHEEP are the FUNNIEST ANIMALS
Carmen Calls - Lost Cat
Best of Homer Simpson
BIZARRE POLICE CHASE: Woman allegedly steals RV,
causes two crashes prior to arrest
D-Day (Rare color footage)
Jeff Allen Lock the Door
Self Driving Cars Are Scary. Kellen Erskine
Jason Aldean - Dirt Road Anthem
53 Amazing Vintage Colorized Photos of the American Civil War
________________
A LITTLE BIT OF HUMOR
trust me
retired
if we switch
threw a rock
my cleavage
coming soon to facebook
out for the night
worried about crime
a silent moment
my check engine light
looking for brains
toilet paper
little johnny
my mom
unique
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Posted by: martin7957@yahoo.com
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