welcome to:
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
HELLO POSTMAN FANS!
OK, so I had plans of taking a week or so off. Funny,
that idea never seems to work. About the second day or
so I am usually sitting at my desk, having finished with
whatever book I'm reading. I'm caught up on all the shows I
recorded on the dvr, and what's left? Staring at the computer screen
wondering what the hell to do next. Its like "damn
I miss publishing." Somehow, if you are a natural at it,
like me, it gets in your blood and you cannot quit. Kindof like
a meth addict who can't kick the habit, except my addiction
is mailing out jokes on the internet LOL.
Mamma's funeral is today. They all live 3 states away, in Iowa.
I was the most creative of the bunch. Most of the fam grew up and raised
families not more than 5 miles down the road from the old farmstead.
Me, I married a Michigan girl and here we are. No regrets whatsoever.
(well aside from wishing I had never smoked)
Altho the cold snap is broken, it is way too cold for us to
make the drive out there, My health would not allow it anyways. We shall
be doing the livestream facebook thing for the funeral.
Doubtful I will ever make it back to Iowa again.
A fond memory.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
___________________
THE FUNNY PAPERS
ridin hogs
what are you doing
happy birthday
excersize
frustration
so much tv
the rest of his life
checkin the chicken
at church
pickin your nose
free refreshments
normal
an honest wedding
a magic eight ball
marge
___________________
JOKES
Jack, a handsome man, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm.
He sat down next to Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez at the bar and stared up at
the TV as the 10:00news came on.The news crew was covering a story of a
man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.
Alexandria looked at Jack and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"
Jack says, "You know what, I bet he will." Alexandria replied,
"Well, I bet he won't." Jack placed $20 on the bar and said, "You're on!"
Just as she placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the
building, falling to his death. She was very upset and handed her $20 to Jack,
saying, "Fair's fair... Here's your money."
Jack replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the
5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."
Alexandria replies, "I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again."
Jack took the money. Alexandria went back to work at the US Congress
An Arab, a Mexican and a Texas girl are in the same bar.
When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass
in the air, pulls out his pistol, and shoots the glass to pieces...
He says, 'In Mexico, our glasses are so cheap we don't need
to drink with the same one twice.'
The Arab, obviously impressed by this, drinks non-alcohol beer
(cuz he's a Muslim!), throws it into the air, pulls out his AK-47,
and shoots the glass to pieces...
He says, 'In the Arab World we have so much sand to make glasses
that we don't need to drink with the same one twice either.'
The cool Texas girl, picks up her beer, downs it in one gulp,
throws the glass into the air, whips out her 45, and shoots
the Mexican and the Arab.
Catching her glass, setting it on the bar, and calling for a refill,
she says, 'In Texas , we have so many illegal aliens
that we don't have to drink with the same ones twice.'
A secretary, out with appendicitis, was being visited by a
co-worker in the hospital.
"How are things at the office going, Claudia?" she asked.
"Well, they're all sharing your work. Jody is making the
coffee, Louise is reading all your magazines, and Cathy
is blowing the boss."
An 80 year old man went into the confessional and told
the priest the following:
"Father, I am an 80 year old man, I'm married, I have 4
children and 11 grandchildren. Last night I strayed and
had an affair with two 18 year old girls. We partied and
made love all night long."
The priest said, "My son, when was the last time you were at
confession?"
The old man said, "I have never been to confession."
The priest said, "Then why are you here telling me this?"
The old man said, "Father, I'm telling everyone!"
A golfer hits a wicked slice off the tee that ricochets
through the trees and into the next fairway narrowly
missing another golfer.
?When the first golfer gets to his ball, he is greeted by
his unintended victim who angrily tells him of the near miss.
"I'm sorry, I didn't have time to yell fore," says the first golfer.
"That's funny" replies the second, "you had plenty of time to
yell 'OH, SHIT!"
_____________________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Red light runner hits the 11foot8 bridge
The Day That Andy Griffith Completely Lost It
ABC Early 1970s Commercials
Air Traffic Control - SNL
5th Grade Boys Talent Show!
Shady Secrets Walmart Doesn't Want You To Know
Top 10 Demolitions Gone Wrong
When a Prius owner confronts a pickup driver
Hilarious DIRT BIKE FAILS!
Top Best Sea Animal Attack Compilation
County plow opening drifted shut road in Randolph County, IN
____________________
A LITTLE BIT OF HUMOR
mother tongue
in a good place
burritos and strippers
a cheeseburger
say it again
shed fur
ppl will argue about anything
grumpy
I always wonder
can't decide
you promise to worship me
when you post something
last year
the bus
very deep
__._,_.___
Posted by: martin7957@yahoo.com
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