Empathy as a Differentiator

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Hey there Potty —  
 
One of the intangible assets  I mentioned last week was empathy. It's underrated yet so powerful. And it can mean the difference between retaining and losing a customer.
 
"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."
– Maya Angelou
I'll see you on the Internet.

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Empathy as a Differentiator



You're selling a commodity.

It doesn't matter whether your company produces cars, provides consulting services, operates a retail establishment, or makes ice cream.

Whatever it is that you do, you have a competitor that does the same thing, and there's one thing that keeps your customers from defecting.

They may buy someone else's product because it's cheaper. Or more convenient.

But what you you could make them feel a certain way?

If you've ever been on hold for a customer service call — one where you're worked up over an issue — and you're only getting more angry because you have to wait to speak with someone, then you're not going to appreciate the unfeeling and disembodied:

"We regret any inconvenience you may have experienced."

That sounds like something a lawyer might have written.

But imagine if you could make your customer feel relieved, or entertained, or at the very least, listened to.

The simple gesture of saying, "Oh, that's terrible," or "I'm really sorry to hear that," goes a long way.

It puts more humanity into the situation and lets your customer know that there's someone like them at your company.

"Acquire the habit of attending carefully to what is being said by another, and of entering, so far as possible, into the mind of the speaker."
– Marcus Aurelius [tweet this]

A couple of hundred years before Marcus Aurelius ruled the Roman Empire, Cicero was impressing the Roman people in his turn in the Senate and as a well-known orator with a similar turn of phase:

"If you wish to persuade me, you must think my thoughts, feel my feelings, and speak my words."
– Cicero [tweet this]

It's not always easy to imagine a situation or the world view as someone else might. But if you can at least show them you're trying, it's a start.


Image credit: Andromache and Pyrrhus by Pierre-Narcisse GuΓ©rin, 1810 (Wikimedia Commons, public domain)


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Make Better Customer Experiences the New Normal



On Wednesday, December 5, 2018, America had a national day of mourning to mark the passing of George H.W. Bush, 41st President of the United States.

So much has been written about his life and legacy in the past few days, but one thing stood out to me, and I'd like to reflect on it here with you, if you'll allow it.

You've likely seen the letter that President Bush left for President Clinton as Oval Office changed hands. Just in case, here's what he wrote:


Dear Bill,

When I walked into this office just now I felt the same sense of wonder and respect that I felt four years ago. I know you will feel that, too.

I wish you great happiness here. I never felt the loneliness some Presidents have described.
There will be very tough times, made even more difficult by criticism you may not think is fair. I'm not a very good one to give advice; but just don't let the critics discourage you or push you off course.

You will be our President when you read this note. I wish you well. I wish your family well.

Your success now is our country's success. I am rooting hard for you.

Good Luck — George

Just imagine leaving a kind and gracious note for someone who has handed you the worst defeat of your professional life.

As Jay Baer might say, that's how you Hug Your Haters!

Shock and awe. Surprise and delight.

You've heard the phrases before: those that indicate we're astonishing someone with something unexpected. When we come out of left field and make someone feel special when they're least expecting it.

If done well (assuming people like certain surprises), it can drive brand loyalty and create a fanbase.

I was reminded of this when I witnessed all of the praise being heaped on George H.W. Bush following his death of Friday, referring to his decency and kindness. It's a little unnerving to think that decency and kindness are rare or out of the ordinary, but here we are.

We've seen it happen in the world of digital and social media as well.


  • When someone receives a handwritten note when they're used to reading tweets and texts, that's a stand-out moment.
  • When someone gets a phone call from the CEO when they're considering a rival brand, that's remarkable.
  • When customer service makes someone feel like they're the only person in the world at the time, that's something that people will talk about.


But why make this the exception? Why not aim for making this a regular way of doing things?

The question is: can you scale it and make it happen again and again? That's the crux of the book Talk Triggers by Jay Baer and Daniel Lemin.

They identified four criteria that result in talk triggers, or built-in differentiators that create customer conversations: be remarkable, relevant, reasonable, and repeatable.

Because you need customers and employees to appreciate you for the culture and experiences you create on a regular basis, not the exceptional stand-alone efforts that are just stunts.

Once you get beyond the surprising, then you're just left with the delightful.

And isn't that what everyone wants?




Image credit: The Oath of the Horatii by Jacques-Louis David, 1784 (Wikipedia - public domain)





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