Plants gone potty!: December 2012

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner/Happy New Year!

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in.
A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.

____________

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!

In my last email of 2012, I stated that
I would not use the Internet until a
year has passed. Well, guess what? 2012
is gone. 2013 is here. its been a year!
So, here I am, again! :) I received a lot
of email well wishers who stated how they were
"going to miss me". And if you were one of
them, I felt badly about my little shtick.
(not, lol )

I actually stayed awake until midnight this
year with the war dept. Our celebration of the new year
was probably a little quieter than most of you.
It consisted of watching an old movie on the
couch and sharing a bowl of popcorn with her
and the dog. It is unknown who got more popcorn,
me, or the dog. The so called "magic moment"
was a bit unnerving this year. Our governor relaxed the
fireworks laws earlier this year in this state, so the
neighbors' fireworks, while awesome, seemed a little
more threatening. Notably, July 4th saw a much larger
number of fires in the city. This particular law allows
a much bigger "bang" and also it allows the fireworks
to fly, previously illegal in our state. Altho I like
our governor for the most part, I have to wonder if this
law was such a good idea. But, you know what was more
scary? We live in a neighborhood that would be
politically correct to refer to as an "urban" neighborhood.
Many of the denizens of our local hood like to celebrate
New Years by shooting off their guns. I find this all
to be a bit un nerving. Turk the dog aka Carlos the rat
responded by running to my chair and cowering underneath it.
I had not the heart to put him in the cage for the
night, so I allowed him to snooze away the "moment"
curled up with me . With that, we missed the
craziness of the holiday and look forward to another
year! I hope 2013 is a good one for you, and
wish you and your family much health and etc!

We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
___________

THE COMICS

over the punch bowl
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z501.html

just wondering
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z502.html

a night of pure magic
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z503.html

on board
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z504.html

fooling around
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z505.html

at midnight
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z506.html

times change
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z507.html

no kiss
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z508.html

let me know
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z509.html

corked popped
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z510.html
_________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

Happy New Year 2013
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2724.html

Happy New Year 2013 - May 2013 Be The Year
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2725.html

New Year's Resolution Song
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2726.html

Happy New Year Count down 2013
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2727.html

As in many homes on New Year's Day, my wife and I faced the annual
conflict of which was more important - the football games on
television, or the dinner itself. To keep peace, I ate dinner with the
rest of the family, and even lingered for some pleasant after-dinner
conversation before retiring to the family room to turn on the game.
Several minutes later, my wife came downstairs and graciously even
bought a cold drink for me. She smiled, kissed me on the cheek and
asked what the score was. I told her it was the end of the third
quarter and that the score was still nothing to nothing.
"See?" she said, continuing to smile, "You didn't miss a thing."
___________

When I thought about the evils of drinking in the New Year, I gave up thinking

You know it's time for a New Year's resolution to lose weight when you step
on a talking scale and it says, "One at a time, please!"

A man asks his friend for a cigarette. His friend says, "I think
you made a New Year resolution to quit smoking." The man says,
" I am in the process of quitting. Right now, I am in the middle of
phase one." "What's phase one?" "I've quit buying."
_______________________

This woman walks into a tattoo parlor and asks for a tattoo of a
christmas tree on her right inner thigh and a cocktail drink on her left
inner thigh. The tatoo artist say thats an unusual request. "Why do you
want two tattoos there?" So she says "Because my husband needs to eat
between Christmas and New Year's Day."
_____________________

That's All folks
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

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[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

Most folks are about as happy as
they make up their minds to be.
Abraham Lincoln
______________

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!

It is with regret that the war department
informs me that I'm spending far too much time on
the Internet. There fore, I've made the decree that
I'm going to take a year off and not log onto my
computer. yep, for a year. There fore, I will sign off
December 31st at 11:59pm. I will return the next
year, on January 1st 2013, at 12:01 am.
See, a whole year without the Internet !!! :)

We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

______________

THE COMICS

Great
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z491.html

mommas boy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z492.html

getting soft
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z493.html

my appetite
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z494.html

sorry
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z495.html

play with my balls
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z496.html

a true friend
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z497.html

clean a house fast
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z498.html

rock beats scissors
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z499.html

in heritance
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z500.html

__________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

Joseph and Mary
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2720.html

Drive Thru Fake Hand Prank
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2721.html

SEXY prank
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2722.html

World's Most Amazing Videos
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2723.html

On New Year's Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub
and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of
midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next
to the one person who made his life worth living.
Well, it was kind of embarrassing. As the clock struck -
the bartender was almost crushed to death.
___________

A nun walks into Mother Superior's office and plunks down
into a chair. She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration.
'What troubles you, Sister?' asked the Mother Superior.
'I thought this was the day you spent with your family.'
'It was,' sighed the Sister. 'And I went to play golf with
my brother. We try to play golf as often as we can. You know
I was quite a talented golfer before I devoted my life to Christ.'
'I seem to recall that,' the Mother Superior agreed. 'So
I take it your day of recreation was not relaxing?'
'Far from it,' snorted the Sister. 'In fact, I even took
the Lord's name in vain today!'
'Goodness, Sister!' gasped the Mother Superior, astonished.
'You must tell me all about it!'
'Well, we were on the fifth tee... and this hole is a monster,
Mother -540 yard Par 5, with a nasty dogleg right and a hidden
green... and I hit the drive of my life. I creamed it.
The sweetest swing I ever made.
And it's flying straight and true, right along the line
I wanted... and it hits a bird in mid-flight!'
'Oh my!' commiserated the Mother. 'How unfortunate! But
surely that didn't make you blaspheme, Sister!'
'No, that wasn't it,' admitted Sister. 'While I was still trying
to fathom what had happened, this squirrel runs out of the woods,
grabs my ball and runs off down the fairway!'
'Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!' sympathized the Mother.
'But I didn't, Mother!' sobbed the Sister. 'And I was so proud
of myself! And while I was pondering whether this was a sign
from God, this hawk swoops out of the sky and grabs the squirrel
and flies off, with my ball still clutched in his paws!'
'So that's when you cursed,' said the Mother with a knowing smile.
'Nope, that wasn't it either,' cried the Sister, anguished,
'because as the hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel
started struggling, and the hawk dropped him right there on the
green, and the ball popped out of his paws and rolled to about
18 inches from the cup!'
Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms across her
chest, fixed the Sister with a baleful stare and said...
'You missed the f*****g putt, didn't you?'
___________________

There once was a young holy roller,
Had a boy friend attempt to console her.
She'd gone down on his cock,
That was hard as a rock...
Chipped a tooth, plus she knocked out a molar.
_____________

A Scotsman, was planning a trip to the Holy Land, who was aghast
when he found it would cost fifty dollars an hour to rent a boat
on the Sea of Galilee. "Hoot mon," he said, "in Scotland it
wouldna ha been more than $20."
"That might be true," said the travel agent, "but you have to take
into account that the Sea of Galilee is water on which our Lord himself walked."
"Well, at $50/hour for a boat," said the Scotsman, "it's no wonder he walked."
____________

Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read
in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend, Finney.
'Did you see the paper?' asked Gallagher. 'They say I died!!'
'Yes, I saw it!' replied Finney. 'Where are ye callin' from?'

__________

FUN PAGES

Happy Pill
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=42678&s=n

Personalized Rap Insults
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=44552&s=n

World War Z w/ Pee Wee Herman
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=44295&s=n

Park Between The Lines
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=44510&s=n

Marijuana Versus Cocaine Flow
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=44547&s=n

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

Life and truth is often a
matter of perspective and viewpoint.

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS

We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

___________

THE COMICS

test today
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z481.html

see that Eileen?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z482.html

great tattoo
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z483.html

remember
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z484.html

excuse me
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z485.html

chewing the fat
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z486.html

when you want something done
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z487.html

what I lack
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z489.html

I'm not lazy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z488.html

the flasher
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z490.html

_____________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

Tom And Jerry
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2716.html

Internet Porn
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2717.html

**Funny Cartoon**
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2718.html

George W. Bush VS Saddam Very very funny hilarious cartoon
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2719.html

"What's your father's occupation?" asked the
teacher on the first day of
the new academic year.
"He's a magician, ma'am," said the new boy.
"How interesting. What's his favorite trick?"
"He saws people in half."
"Gosh! Now, next question. Any brothers or sisters?"
"One half brother and two half sisters."
___________

A pompous self made grocer named Bates gets his son
into an expensive private school. On day One the whole family
is there to see the little blighter begin his first day at school.
The grocer, his family in tow, saunters into the principal's
office and introduces himself thus: "I am Sir Shortweight Bates.
This is my wife, Lady Bates, my daughter Miss Bates and my son Master
Bates." "Oh does he?" asks the bemused principal, "we will soon
get him out of that terrible habit."
_____________

Q. Did you hear about how quick the guy who lost his
left arm and leg in a car crash?
A. He's all right now.

Q. Did you hear about the man who was tap dancing?
A. He broke his ankle when he fell into the sink.

Q. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A. A nervous wreck.

Q. What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
A. Anyone can roast beef.

_______________

FUN PAGES

What Concert Costs 45 Cents?
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=44371&s=n

The Last Stand 2 Hacked
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=42969&s=n

Things Men Know About Women
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=44406&s=n

Personalized Hip Hop Reminders
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=44556&s=n

The Excuse of Cowards
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=44238&s=n

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

Those who give hoping to be rewarded with honor
are not giving, they are bargaining.
Philo

______________

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!

This is a silly time of year. The holidays
are done, and you have a fridge full of left
overs to eat. The war department cooked a turkey
for Christmas and we have been eating turkey
sandwiches until last night. Me and daughter protested
loudly enough that she finally froze what was
left in the freezer. While that does provide some
relief, it also means we shall have to deal with it
later. You get a day or two off at xmas, then you
have to make a work appearance for a few days until
New Years, then you get a couple more days off. New
Years is a stupid holiday. It has no meaning and is
relatively useless unless you are a drunk. I Never did
understand why companies don't just close down for
a week from xmas to new year. Nobody ever accomplishes
anything worthwhile this week. Which reminds me. The president
returns from Hawaii to work on the so called "fiscal cliff".
I wish our political leaders would just put aside differences and
find a solution to an out of control budget. In the meantime,
Turk the dog, aka Carlos the rat particularly enjoyed the holiday.
He found a large remnant of leftover Christmas dinner crumbs
and such for the next day or so on the floors. Having a toddler
grandchild around the house seems to make the little chihuahua
a little happier these days. He can usually run faster than
the grand baby. He lets out a mighty bark when he decides
he does not like what Addison has found amusing. The stores are
all trying to decide what to do to boost sales now that the
shopping spree is done. And everyone watches to see if Best Buy will
go the way of Circuit City or if it will survive another year.
All in all, none of this really matters much. Time marches on.
Another year is upon us despite the naysayings of the Mayan
doomsdayers.
I hope you all have a great weekend!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
__________

hey sweet thing
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z471.html

just a bike
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z472.html

laziness
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z473.html

after Christmas
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z474.html

don't apologize
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z475.html

you heard me
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z476.html

your late husband
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z477.html

bend over
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z478.html

4 inches
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z479.html

hi Daddy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z480.html
______________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

Aspirin Cardio: Auction
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2713.html

Bill Engvall-deer hunting
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2714.html

male antidepressants
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2715.html

Johnny is visiting the zoo with his mother. They go to the
elephant exhibit, where a big old bull elephant is taking a leak.
Johnny points to the pachyderm's privates and says, "Mommy,
what's that?"
Mommy, seeing the huge member, turns bright red and says, "Oh,
that's nothing. Never mind. Come along now."
A few weeks later, Johnny is at the zoo with his father. Johnny
grabs his dad by the hand, and pulls him over the elephants,
saying he has a question.
Once there, Johnny points to the elephant's member and says,
"Daddy, what's that?"
Dad replies, "Didn't your mother tell you?"
"Yes, she told me it was nothing."
"Well, your mom is spoiled, son."
________________

I pulled into a town I couldn't believe still existed in 2010.
A dusty, dirt road, a little old wooden store that actually said
"General Store," and that was it.
There was a little old man sitting in front of the store in a
rocking chair. I said to him, "What do you folks do around here?"
"we fuck"
I said, "What do you do when you are not fucking?"
"We go hunting."
"What do you hunt for?"
"Something to fuck"
_____________

A woman, on meeting a psychologist at a party, made a pitch for
some free professional advice. "What kind of toy would you suggest
giving a little boy on his third birthday?" she asked.
"First I'd have to know more about the child," the psychologist hedged.
The woman took a deep breath. "He's very bright and quick-witted and
exceptionally advanced for his age," she said. "He has good coordination,
expresses himself very well..."
"Oh, I see," the psychologist said. "It's YOUR child!"
__________

There was a young lady named May,
Took a stroll in the park by the bay.
She met a young man,
Who screwed her and ran.
Now she goes to the park everyday.

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

______________

The only good is knowledge,
and the only evil is ignorance.
Herodotus
__________

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!

We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

___________

THE COMICS

a mac
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z461.html

beat it Henry
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z462.html

dear diary
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z463.html

the doctor
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z464.html

small towns
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z465.html

the video store
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z466.html

not tonight
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z467.html

for sale
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z468.html

a raise
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z469.html

frigid
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z470.html
_________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

the vagina song
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2709.html

BEST AD EVER - Winner Of 2010 Best TV Advertisement Award
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2710.html

Jeopardy: What is a threesome?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2711.html

All In The Family
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2712.html

An 80-year-old Saskatchewan farmer goes to the
clinic in Saskatoon for a check-up.The doctor is
amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks,
'How do you stay in such great physical condition?'
'I'm from Sask and in my spare time I like to hunt and
fish' says the old guy, 'and that's why I'm In such good shape.
I'm up well before daylight in the field plowing and
mending fences and when I'm not doing that,
I'm out hunting or fishing. In the evening, I have a
beer and all is well.'
'Well' says the doctor, 'I'm sure that helps, but there's
got to be more to it. How old was your father when he died?'
'Who said my father's dead?'
The doctor is amazed. 'You mean you're 80 years old and
your father's still alive? How old is he?'
'He's 100 years old,' says the old Sask boy. 'In fact he worked
with and hunted with me this morning, and then we went to the topless
bar for a while and had some beer and that's why he's still alive.
He's a Saskatchewan farmer and he's a hunter and fisherman too.'
'Well,' the doctor says, 'that's great, but I'm sure there's
more to it than that. How about your father's father?
How old was he when he died?'
'Who said my Grandpa's dead?'
Stunned, the doctor asks, 'you mean you're 80 years
old and your grandfather's' still alive?'
'He's 118 years old,' says the man.
The doctor is getting frustrated at this point, 'So,
I guess he went hunting with you this morning too?'
'No, Grandpa couldn't go this morning because he's getting married today.'
At this point the doctor is close to losing it. 'Getting
married!! Why would a 118 year-old guy want to get married?'
'Who said he wanted to?'
_______________

If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day,
How come nothing is free yet?
_____________

A farmer and his wife were lying in bed one evening; she was knitting,
he was reading the latest issue of Animal Husbandry. He looks up from
the page and says to her, "Did you know that humans are the only species
in which the female achieves orgasm?" She looks at him wistfully,
smiles, and replies, "Oh yeah? Prove it." He frowns for a moment, then
says, "Okay." He gets up and walks out, leaving his wife with a confused
look on her face. About an hour later, he returns all tired and sweaty
and proclaims, "Well I'm sure the cow and sheep didn't, but the way that
pig keeps squealing, I can't tell."
_________

When my last boyfriend realized that I was really kicking his lazy ass
out for good, he started trying to patch things up. He got all sad, and
looked at me with tenderness, saying "You know I love you. Say those
three little words that will make me walk on air." I said, "Go hang
yourself."
____________

Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers and threats to
society. The other is for housing prisoners.

FUNNY PAGES

Beat Makers
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=44559&s=n

Free Beer, Topless Servers
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=44355&s=n

Crazy Snowmobile Accident
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=44271&s=n

Obechi Game
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=44557&s=n

Music Stars Then And Now
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=44321&s=n

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

Good judgment comes from experience,
and experience comes from bad judgment.
Rita Mae Brown
_____________

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!

We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

_______________

THE COMICS

I'll let you know
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z451.html

where is he
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z452.html

I need to speak to my husband
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z453.html

the step dad says
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z454.html

so much fun
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z455.html

asshole
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z456.html

sorry Joey
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z457.html

its your fault
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z458.html

donations
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z459.html

you will love me
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z460.html

____________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

Removing The Evidence Prank
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2705.html

News Anchor Fail Compilation
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2706.html

Arlington: Field of Honor
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2707.html

Funny Video
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2708.html

A man walks into a bar with his dog and puts the dog
on a barstool. The bartender asks the man what he wants
to drink. "I'll have a bourbon and Coke!"
The man then turns to his dog and asks,
"What are you going to have, Rover?"
"I'll have a Scotch and soda -- light on the soda," says Rover.
The bartender is skeptical about the dog talking.
"Come on," he says, "that dog can't talk -- you're a ventriloquist!"
"No, Rover can really talk! While I am in the restroom,
you can have a conversation with him yourself --
but don't let him out of your sight.
He is a very valuable dog."
The man goes to the restroom. When he returns,
the dog is gone."Hey, where's my dog? I told you not
to let him out of your sight.""Aw, I didn't believe
that Rover could talk, so I gave him a quarter and
sent him to the drug store to buy me a paper."
"Let's go look for him," said the man.
The two went to the drugstore -- no Rover. They walked up
and down nearby alleys and streets -- no dog! Finally, they
found Rover in an alley on top of another dog, pumping away.
Pointing his finger at Rover, the man says angrily,
"How come you are doing this? You have never done this before!"
"First time I ever had any money!"
____________

Last year a young man graduated from the University of Arkansas
with a degree in journalism. His very first assignment, for
the newspaper who hired him, was to write a human interest story.
He decided to go into the Ozark Mountains to do his research.
He found an old farmer's house in an isolated section and
introduced himself to the man. He then asked him, "Has anything
ever happened around here that made you happy?"
The old farmer thought for a moment and said, "Yep, one time a
neighbor's sheep got lost. We all formed a posse and found it.
Then we all screwed it and took it back home."
"I can't print that!" the young reporter exclaimed. "Can you
think of anything else that happened that made you happy?"
"Yep, one time a neighbor's daughter got lost. We all formed a
posse & found her. After we all screwed her, we took her back home."
"Hell, I can't print that either!" cried the frustrated reporter.
"Has anything ever happened that made you sad?"
The old farmer dropped his head and sit quietly for a few seconds.
Then he timidly replied, "Yep, I got lost once."
____________

I met a beautiful young woman at a nightclub. We were getting on
very well when she said she had something to show me. She removed
her wig and she was totally bald. ''It's alopecia,'' she said '
'but if you still like me you can ask me anything."
I have always wanted to know, so I asked her straight. ''Does
your condition make you bald in other places?'' I asked.
She whispered in my ear, ''There's only one way to find out."
What an idiot I am...forgetting about Google at a time like this.

_____________

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

Justice without force is
powerless. force without justice
is tyrannical
Baise Pascal

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!

We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_____________

THE COMICS

swap
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z441.html

meth
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z442.html

darn nice
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z443.html

oh well
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z444.html

how to identify a female suicide bomber
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z445.html

bottoms up
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z446.html

he is so drunk
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z447.html

I forgot
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z448.html

100 bucks
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z449.html

can't u read
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z450.html
____________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

Funniest 911 Call Ever
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2701.html

Funny Military Video
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2702.html

Barney Miller - 706 - Call Girl
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2703.html

America's Funniest Home Video
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2704.html

A secretary got an expensive pen as a gift from her boss.
She sent him a 'Thank you note by email'. Boss's wife read
the mail and filed a divorce in court The mails says:
'Your penis wonderful. I enjoyed using it last night. It has
extra ordinary smooth flow, and firm strokes. Initially its
tip was to be licked to bring to working order & it is
equally good on both sides. I loved its perfect size and grip.
Felt like I was in heaven when using it. I've always desired
for it and you fulfilled my wish. At last it is mine and mine
for ever. Thanks a lot."
Moral: Space between words is an essential part in English!
________________

Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down
when he saw him. He'd never been to church in his life. After
Mass, the priest caught up with him and said, "Murphy, I am so
glad ya decided to come to Mass.   What made ya come?"
Murphy said, "I got to be honest with you Father, a while back,
I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat.   I know
that McGlynn had a hat just like mine and I knew he came to church
every Sunday. I also knew that he had to take off his hat during Mass
and figured he would leave it in the back of church.   So, I was
going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn's hat."
The priest said, "Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn't steal McGlynn's
hat. What changed your mind? "Murphy replied, "Well, after I heard
your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided that I didn't need to
steal McGlynn's hat after all."
With a tear in his eye the priest gave Murphy a big smile and said;
"After I talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' ya decided you would
rather do without your hat than burn in Hell?"
Murphy slowly shook his head. "No, Father, after ya talked about
'Thou Shalt not Commit Adultery', I remembered where I left me hat."
_____________

The Cost of gas

The cost of operating Air Force One is now up to nearly $180,000 an
hour. But that is still cheaper than having President Obama in the
White House working on the government's budget. (Jim Barach)

Oil prices jumped to well over $100 a barrel, and analysts say it's
due to tension in the Middle East. So, luckily, it's just a temporary
thing. (Jay Leno)

Gasoline is so expensive in L. A. that police pulled over a van on
the freeway yesterday with fifty legal Americans in it. (Argus Hamilton)

You can tell gas prices are going up in California. Prius owners are
getting that smug look again. (Jay Leno)
_____________

Paddy and his two friends are talking at a bar. His first
friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician.
The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine."
His second friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the
plummer the other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine."
Paddy says: "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse."
Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief. "No I'm serious.
The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed."

That's all folks!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

Funzines - Video Fun Video My Name is Christmas Carol

I love this song and the video is pretty good. Thought I would share it with you on Christmas Day. The song was sung by Skip Ewing. Hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Merry Christmas to you and yours.

From the Gorham's Terry and Linda

__._,_.___

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__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner/Merry Christmas!

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

It is far more impressive when others discover
your good qualities without your help.
Judith Martin

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!

We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

____________

THE COMICS

Sylvia drinks
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z431.html

your glad
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z432.html

the kids love him
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z433.html

are you in there
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z434.html

that was marvelous
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z435.html

a newlywed named Lily
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z436.html

the night b4 Christmas
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z437.html

stuff your stockin
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z438.html

mistletoe
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z439.html

the fire department
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z440.html
__________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

CLOSE YOUR FACEBOOK ACCOUNT
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2697.html

budwieser
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2698.html

I want milk
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2699.html

new ringtones
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2700.html

Four old timers were playing their weekly game of golf,
one remarked how nice it would be to wake up on Christmas
morning, roll out of bed and without an argument go
directly to the golf course, meet his buddies and play a round.
His buddies all chimed in said, "Let's do it! We'll
make it a priority; figure out a way and meet here early,
Christmas morning."Months later, that special morning arrives,
and there they are on the golf course. The first guy says,
"Boy this game cost me a fortune! I bought my wife a
diamond ring that she can't take her eyes off it."
The second guy says, "I spent a ton too. My wife is at
home planning the cruise I gave her. She was up to her
eyeballs in brochures."The third guy says "Well my wife
is at home admiring her new car, reading the manual."
They all turned to the last guy in the group who is
staring at them like they have lost their minds.
"I can't believe you all went to such expense for this
golf game. I slapped my wife on the butt and said, `Well
babe, Merry Christmas! It's a great morning -- intercourse or golfcourse --'
She said, "Don't forget your sweater."
________________

Why Santa Can't Possibly Be A Man

a. Men can't pack a bag
b. Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet.
c. Men would feel their masculinity is threatened... having to be seen
with all those elves
d. Men don't answer their mail
e. Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described even in
just as anything remotely resembling a "bowl full of jelly"
f. Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody's wearing them
g. Having to do the Ho-Ho-Ho thing would seriously inhibit their
ability to pick up women
h. Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.
_______________

There was a young woman named Melanie ,Who was asked by a man,
"Do you sell any?"
She replied, "No, siree, I give it for free
To sell it, dear sir, is a felony."
___________

Q: What do you call a group of blondes on roller skates?
A: A mobile sperm bank!

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

If you are content, you have enough to live comfortably.
Titus Maccius Plautus

__________

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!

We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
__________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

false teeth
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z421.html

aliens
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z422.html

so sorry
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z423.html

morning coffee
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z424.html

forget it Frank
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z425.html

sorry we're late
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z426.html

your fault
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z427.html

spike the ball
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z428.html

too many birthdays
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z429.html

warning
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z430.html
__________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

Red Green's Christmas Turkey Bake
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2693.html

Best marriage proposal ever
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2694.html

Popeye
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2695.html

car alarms
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2696.html

Giorgio is in this country for about 6 months. He walks
to work every day and passes a shoe store. Each day he
stops and looks in the window and admires a certain pair of
Bocceli leather shoes. He wants those shoes so much it's all he can think about.
After about 2 months he saves the $300.00 the shoes cost
and purchases them. Every Friday night the Italian community
gets together at a dance in the church basement, so Giorgio
seizes the opportunity to wear his new Bocceli leather shoes to the dance.
He asks Sophia to dance and as they dance he asks her,
"Sophia, do you wear red panties tonight?"
Sophia, startled, says, "Yes, Giorgio, I do wear
red panties tonight, but how do you know?"
Giorgio replies, "I see the reflection in my new
$300.00 Bocceli leather shoes. How do you like them?"
Next he asks Rosa to dance, and after a few minutes he says to her,
"Rosa, do you wear white panties tonight?"
Rosa answers, "Yes, Giorgio, I do, but how do you know that?"
He answers, "I see the reflection in my new $300.00 Bocceli
leather shoes. How do you like them?"
Now as the evening is almost over and the last song is being
played, Giorgio asks Carmella to dance. Midway through the dance his
face turns red. He says, "Carmella, stilla my heart, please, please
tell me you wear no panties tonight, please, please, tella me this true!"
Carmella smiles coyly and answers, "Yes Giorgio, I wear no panties tonight."
Giorgio gasps and says ...."Thanka God ...
I thought I had a CRACK in my $300.00 Bocceli leather shoes!"
______________

Thorn was trying real hard to get the best-looking cheerleader
in school to go out on a date with him. She finally agreed,
but only on condition that he arrange a date for her best
friend too. That was fine with Thorn, but when Friday night
came around he hadn't been able to line anyone up so he asked
his retarded brother Futhman if he would help him out. "Why
sure," said Futhman, "but you know, I've never been out with a
girl before."
"No problem," said Thorn. "Just do everything I do."
Off the four of them go to the drive-in, and when Thorn started
kissing his date, Futhman followed suit. Soon Thorn had the
cheerleader's bra undone, so Futhman undid his date's. Next, Thorn
was feeling inside her panties, but when Futhman tried to follow
suit, his date told him to quit.
"Why?" asked Futhman, anxiously noting that his brother was
getting quite a head start in the front seat.
"I have my period," she said.
"You're what?"
"I'm bleeding down there," she explained, blushing.
"This I gotta see," said Futhman. He turned on the headlights,
dragged his date out in front of the car, and pulled down her
pants. White-faced, he said, "Hell, I'd be bleeding too, if my
dick were chopped off!"
____________

Jeff was married and a philanderer. A friend finally took him to task.
"When you run around with other women, doesn't your conscience bother you?"
"Yes, for a certain length of time...and then if I don't hear from their
lawyers, I feel better."
________________

FUN PAGES

Simply Faucenating
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=44332&s=n

Hand Washing Troll
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=44470&s=n

Monster Truck Demolisher Hacked
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=42958&s=n

Crazy Snowmobile Accident
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=44271&s=n

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman