[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner



 


THE POSTMAN'S CORNER


If you don't know where you are going,
you will probably end up somewhere else.
Laurence J. Peter

________________________

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!

An old  cowboy was riding his trusty horse followed by  his faithful dog
along an unfamiliar road. The  man was enjoying the new scenery, when he 
suddenly remembered dying, and realized that the  dog beside him had been dead for years, as had  his horse.  
  Confused,  he wondered what was happening, and where the  trail was leading them.
After a  while, they came to a high, white stone wall  that looked like fine marble.
At the top of a  long hill, it was broken by a tall arch topped  by a
golden letter "H" that glowed in the  sunlight.Standing before it, he  saw a
magnificent gate in the arch that looked  like mother-of-pearl, and the street
that led to  the gate looked like gold.He rode  toward the gate, and as he got
closer, he saw a  man at a desk to one side. Parched and tired out  by his journey,
he called out, 'Excuse me, where  are we?''This is Heaven, sir,' the man  answered.
'Wow! Would you happen to have  some water?' the man asked.
'Of course,  sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water  brought right up.'
As the gate began to  open, the cowboy asked, 'Can I bring my  partners, too?'
'I'm sorry, sir, but we  don't accept pets.'The cowboy thought  for a moment, then
turned back to the road and  continued riding, his dog trotting by his  side.
After another long ride, at the top  of another hill, he came to a dirt road leading 
through a ranch gate that looked as if it had  never been closed. As he approached the
gate, he  saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and  reading a book.
'Excuse  me,' he called to the man. 'Do you have any  water?'
'Sure, there's a pump right over  there. Help yourself.'
'How about my  friends here?' the traveler gestured to the dog  and his horse.
'Of course! They look  thirsty, too,' said the man.
The trio  went through the gate, and sure enough, there  was an old-fashioned hand pump
with buckets  beside it. The traveler filled a cup and the  buckets with wonderfully
cool water and took a  long drink, as did his horse and  dog.When they were full,
he walked back  to the man who was still standing by the tree.  'What do you call this place?' the traveler  asked.
'This is Heaven,' he  answered.
'That's confusing,' the  traveler said. 'The man down the road said that  was Heaven, too.'
'Oh, you mean the place  with the glitzy, gold street and fake pearly  gates? That's hell.'
'Doesn't it make you  angry when they use your name like  that?'
'Not at all. Actually, we're happy  they screen out the folks who would leave their  best friends behind.'

We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
__________________

DON'T FORGET DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME STARTS AT 2am THIS SUNDAY!


__________________

THE COMICS

mans downfall
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c031.html

who's boss
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c032.html

the rules
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c033.html

unorthodox
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c034.html

in the waiting room
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/c035.html

___________________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

I suppose thats one pilot who is gonna report to the general
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1539.html

the hammer
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1540.html


A traveling salesman on business in West Virginia met a young
lady in a bar, and invited her to his room. As she was disrobing,
he said, "Say, how old are you?" "Thirteen." she said.
"Thirteen?! My God! You're a child! Put your clothes back on right
now and get out of here!"On her way out the door, the confused nymphet
paused, turned to him, and said, "You're superstitious, right?"
_____________________

Tony met a young woman in a bar. She accepted his invitation to go back
to his apartment with him. After a few drinks and some soft music, he
suggested they retire to the bedroom, and the girl agreed.
Soon they were going at it hot and heavy, when all of a sudden, Tony
stopped dead, looked at her and said, "Hey, you don't have herpes, do you?"
"No," she replied, "what would make you ask such a thing?"
"That's a relief," said Tony. "The last girl didn't tell me till it was too late!"
_____________________

Q. What does PMS stand for?
A. Penis Must Suffer.

Q. Why did Eve bite the forbidden apple?
A. Because it tasted better than Adam's banana.

Q. What did the gynecologist and the pizza delivery man have in common?
A. They both get to smell the goods but neither one of them can eat it.

Q. What's the definition of "relative humidity?"
A. That's the sweat running down the crack of your butt as you're
   banging your sister-in-law.

__________________


THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

 

 

 

 

 

 



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