Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Have you taken on Liberty Mutual as an advertising client now? Sure
sounds like it.
BTW I carried LM for many years but recently changed to State Farm
because,
I got better coverage for only a few dollars a year more and more
importantly, I can talk face to face with a REAL PERSON, not some
automated answering machine. I can immediately get answers from the
first person I talk to, not 30 minutes later after going through a dozen
different menus and 2 or 3 disconnects.
Wayne
Actually Wayne the ads I am running right now are for Tiger Direct which
I have dealt with for years and has plenty of live people to deal with
that
are more than happy to answer questions or take care of problems. As
a matter of fact though I have always talked to a real person at Liberty
Mutual too and always have a pleasant conversation just as if I was
talking
to an agent down on Main Street. Perhaps the person who answered your
call has an ex named Wayne and decided to transfer your call to a
machine
or the Vietnamese cleaning lady just because they didn't like you. As
far as
coverage goes I have plenty because if I run into your car, even if it
is
a million dollar Ferrari you are going to end up with what the insurance
company pays you because I don't own anything of value or wages that
can be garnished. Sucks I know but that's the way life is.
I actually got quite a few comments concerning your favorites as far as
insurance goes. A handful of retired military prefer USAA insurance as
far as rates and service go. State Farm was mentioned a few times also.
Whatever your choice may be and for whatever reason I am glad that you
do have insurance on your vehicles. And a special thanks to Wayne for
giving me a subject for tonight's introduction.
Stay Warm everyone..... buffalo
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Santa Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One Christmas Eve, Santa Claus comes down the chimney and is
startled by a beautiful 19 year old blonde.
She said "Santa, will you stay with me?"
Santa replied, "Ho Ho Ho gotta go, gotta go, gotta deliver these
toys to the good little girls and boys."
So she took off her night gown, wearing only a bra and panties,
she asked "Santa, now will you stay with me?"
"Ho Ho Ho gotta go, gotta go, gotta deliver these toys to the good
little girls and boys."
She takes off everything and says "Santa, NOW will you stay with
me?"
Santa replies "Gotta stay, gotta stay, can't get up the chimney
with my dick this way!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
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mens underware
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TSA Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TSA Slogans
- Grope discounts available.
- Can't see London, can't see France, unless we see your underpants.
- If we did our job any better, we'd have to buy you dinner first.
- Only we know if Lady Gaga is really a lady.
- Don't worry, my hands are still warm from the last guy.
- Throw a few back at the airport Chili's, and you won't even notice.
- Wanna fly? Drop your fly.
- We are now free to move about your pants.
- We rub you the wrong way, so you can be on your way.
- It's not a grope. It's a freedom pat.
- When in doubt, we make you whip it out.
- TSA: Touchin', Squeezin', Arrestin'
- You were a virgin.
- We handle more packages than the USPS.
- The TSA isn't silly, they just want to inspect your willy.
- Stroke of the hand, law of the land.
- No Shirt, No Shoes, No Problem.
- Let our fingers do the walking.
- Turn your head to the side and cough.
- Reach out and touch someone.
- Can you feel me now?
- When we're done with you, you'll need a cigarette.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Hijack Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A cargo plane is in mid-flight over the ocean when
suddenly the cockpit door burst open to reveal an
armed, masked hijacker to a startled pilot, copilot,
navigator, and a female passenger. He held a gun to
the pilot's head and said, "Take this plane to Iraq
or I'm gonna spill your brains all over the place."
The pilot calmly reached up, pushed the gun aside
and said, "look buddy, if you shoot me this plane
will crash right into the sea and you'll die along
with the rest of us."
The hijacker thought about it, then held the gun
to the copilot's head and said, "Take this plane
to Iraq or I'm gonna spill HIS brains all over the
place."
The copilot also calmly reached up, pushed the gun
aside and said, "listen to me. The pilot's got a
bad heart and he could keel over at the shock of
my being killed. So if you shoot me, this plane
will still crash right into the sea and you'll
die along with the rest of us."
The hijacker thought about it for a moment and then
held the gun to the navigator's head and repeated,
"take this plane to Iraq or I'm gonna spill HIS
brains all over the place."
The navigator calmly reached up, pushed the gun aside
and said, "I wouldn't do that if I were you. Those
other two guys have no sense of direction. Without
me they couldn't find their way out of a paper bag
much less get this plane to Iraq. So if you shoot
me, this plane will still crash right into the sea
and you'll die along with the rest of us."
The hijacker thought some more, shrugged and this
time held the gun to the female passenger's head and
demanded, "take this plane to Iraq or I'm gonna spill
HER brains all over the place."
No one said a word, but the stewardess leaned over and whispered
something into the hijacker's ear. He turned beet red, dropped his
gun, and ran out of the cockpit in a panic.
The crew tracked down the hijacker, who was found
cowering behind some crates in the hold, and tied
him up. The pilot then asked the stewardess what
she said that terrified the man so.
"I told him," she replied, "that if he killed me,
he'd be the one who'd have to give you guys your
blow jobs."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fred Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A cop stops a car for traveling faster than the posted
speed limit.
He asks the man his name. "Fred," he replies.
"Fred what?" the officer asks.
"Just Fred," the man responds.
The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just
give the fellow a break and write him out a warning
instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for
the last name. The man tells him that he used to have
a last name but lost it. The officer thinks that he
has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it.
"Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?"
The man replies, "It's a long story, so stay with me."
"I was born Fred Dingaling. I know -- a funny last
name. The kids used to tease me all the time. So I
stayed to myself, studied hard, and got good grades.
When I got older I realized that I wanted to be a
doctor.
I went through college, medical school, internship,
residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred
Dingaling, MD.
"After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I
decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream!
Got all the way through school, got my degree, so then
I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS.
"Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling
around with my assistant and she gave me VD. So now I
was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS, with VD.
Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took
away my DDS. Then I was Fred Dingaling, MD with VD.
Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my
DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving
me as Fred Dingaling with VD. Then the VD took away my Dingaling, so
now I am Just Fred."
The officer walked away in tears, laughing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pick-up Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That dress would look awfully nice on the floor next to my bed...
Do you want to see something swell?
Hey babe....do you realize that my
mouth can generate over 750 psi?
Is that a double ended dilldo or are
you just glad to see me?
Excuse me. Do you wanna f**k or should
I apologize?
Irish : Have you got a little Irish in you?
She: Uh...no....
Irish: Well, do you want some?
Pardon me but I was just about to go home and masturbate and I was
wondering if you'd mind if I fantasize about you?
Say, didn't we go to different schools together?
Wanna fuck like bunnies?
Why don't you come on over here, sit on my lap, and we'll talk about
the first thing that pops up?
I had a friend who used to hand out calling cards which said:"Smile
if you want to sleep with me", then watch the victim try to hold
back her smile...
Sit on my lap and we'll get things straight between us
You smell wet. Let's Party.
Pardon me miss, but I help noticing that you have
cum in your hair.
Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the
money?
Would you like to dance, or should I go fuck myself again?
Hey baby, let's go make some babies.
At the office copy machine: Reproducing eh? Can I help?
Would you like Gin and platonic, or do you
prefer Scotch and sofa?
Gee, you don't sweat much for a fat chick.
Miss, If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?
Walk over to a table occupied by ladies, whip out your `pud' and
say:
Hey Charlie, see anyone here you recognize? Hey, wanna see my R2-D2
impersonation? (Think about it...) Hey baby...infect me!
Hey babe, how about a pizza and a f**k? What's the matter, don't
like pizza?
I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty
good.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/A beautiful video on this page
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Carolyn with/ Poetry In Motion
http://carolynspreciousmemories.com/50s/poetryinmotion.html
John w/ Mr. Sandman
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Judy w/ Happy Birthday Jesus
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
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Tech Reviews
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Movie Links
Bob & Tom Around The World Series
http://www.buffaloschips.com/8293.htm
Boob Job
http://www.buffaloschips.com/8294.htm
Borrowing The Old Mans Car
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Gay Weatherman
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Hot Moments
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Impossible
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Jet Engine
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John McCain
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Korean
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Larry The Cable Guy 111
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The young hooker reports for her first day at the brothel. The
madam says to her, " Do you have any questions?"
The hooker replies, " Yes, I was wondering how long penises should
be sucked?"
The madam says," The same as the short ones".
Roy was extolling the virtues of his new girlfriend. In fact, she
was so perfect in every way that he'd asked her to marry him, and
she accepted.
"I'm really happy for you, Roy," his best friend assured him. "And
what did you
say this paragon's name is?"
"Betty Jo," replied Roy, a look of pure happiness coming over his
face at the mere mention of her name. "Betty Jo Bronowski."
"Not Betty Jo Bronowski!" yelled his buddy. "Roy, you can't be
serious about marrying her. She's slept with every man in
Poughkeepsie!"
A frown passed over Roy's face as he reflected briefly. "Heck," he
responded, "Poughkeepsie's not such a big town."
Doug went to a psychiatrist and said, "Doc, I'm really worried about
my wife. Yesterday she posed for a nude picture."
The psychiatrist said, "Well I wouldn't worry about that. It's
probably just an expression of her interest in art. What was the
nude picture for?"
Doug said, "Her driver's license."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Somewhere In America
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32802.htm
Amish Gone Bad
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32803.htm
Pregnant
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32804.htm
Disgusting
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32805.htm
Bob Barker
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32806.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young man of Natal
Who was fucking a Hottentot gal.
Said she, "You're a sluggard!"
Said he, "You be buggered!
I like to fuck slow, and I shall."
__________________________
There was a Young Man of Thyme
Who Had three wives at a time
When asked why he did it
He said "One's an idiot
And bigamy, sir, is a crime!"
__________________________
There was a young man with a fiddle
Who asked of his girl, "Do you diddle?"
She replied, "Yes, I do,
But prefer to with two --
It's twice as much fun in the middle."
<Snagged by>
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
While living in Michigan it snowed 4 or 5 inches one morning. That
afternoon a fellow three doors down the street knocked on my door. "Your
son pee'd his name in the snow in front of my place," he said.
I replied, "Oh, well, every boy does that."
He said, "Yes, but, this was in my daughter's hand-writing!"
Hi William
New one i hope
Billy-bob and his girl are going at it in the room.
As she is on the point of climax ,Billy-bob freezes in mid thrust.
20 seconds going by and now she is irritated.
"Billy-bob what up i was so close"
Billy-bob "Wait for it, i saw it on internet porn. They call it
buffering"
Pieter
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 2023
Ride the Ducks
BJ: Another thing we did that was unusual was
Ride the ducks.
Rudy: Whoa! How can you two ride a duck...now
Come on.
Diana: This is not a quack quack kind of duck but an
Amphibious kind of duck like the kind they used in
World War II, they drive on land and go in water. They
do evevything go pretty much anywhere.
BJ: Then we saw a movie unlike any we have seen. A
Screen six stories tall.
Val: Thud!
Katie: Did you bring it home?
Diana: It had 40 speakers in the movie house.
Rudy crying: I wasn't there.....
The Herd
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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