Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Welcome to a new week. I had a great Christmas, beginning with
Eva getting up at 0730 in the mood to rip into her presents, so as
soon as Sandy and Buffy were up I started snapping pictures.
She took hours to open everything, oohing and ahing over each one
and opening all of the little parts for each gift. To make matters worse
they seem to find new ways each year to fasten the toys to their cases
and you need knives, scissors, pliers and screwdrivers to get everything
out. Anyhow Eva was pretty impressed by her presents and has been
spending a lot more time in her room playing than before Christmas
which is giving everyone a break. I spent the rest of the day eating
and enjoying television and just sitting with the family. I figured I
owed them a little bit of attention in return for all of the help they
gave me during the month when I couldn't leave my room. Anyhow the
jokes here are the ones I had ready for Christmas along with some
leftover links to wrap the holiday up with. Today will also be our last
day
ad-free. I wish I could find a way to be totally ad-free everyday but
there are still things like the website that Jordan has to pay for and
as he is struggling to keep Nancy's house he can't afford them out
of pocket.
Happy New Year to all and enjoy the chips... buffalo
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Please visit our Sponsor
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Exam Chips
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There was a redneck father and son who were always in competition
with each other. One day the son left to take an entrance exam at a
university. He wanted to major in medicine.
A week later he returned from his trip looking very down in the
dumps. "How was the exam?" asked his father. "They asked quite a
lot of 'fill in the missing letter' questions about first aid and stuff.
I
got a score of 75%. It wasn't
good enough to get accepted," the boy replied. "Well in that I better
take that exam myself," the father said. So off to the university he
went.
A week later the father returned from his trip looking very down in the
dumps. "How was the exam?" asked his son. "They asked quite a lot
of 'fill in the missing letter' questions about first aid and I got all
wrong but one." "Gee, Dad.
Which question was that?"
"The question was...", started the father, "What do you do when you
come across a lady which has fainted. You feel her pu_s_?"
"That's easy", the son replied. "The answer is pulse."
"Oh, hell", said the father, " I got that one wrong as well."
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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
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Bud Chips
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Three men are walking down the street. One is from California, one is
from New York, and the last is from St. Louis.
A good looking woman walks by ... the man from California states "She's
about an 8."
The man from New York states "No, no ... she's a 6."
The man from St. Louis says "Hell no, she's a 1."
The two men look at the guy from St. Louis and turn to each other and
say, "Well, she was not that good looking."
All three continue walking down the strip. As chance happens another
woman walks by. She is more beautiful than the first.
The man from California exclaims "9"
The man from New York cries "8.5"
The man from St. Louis says "2"
The man from California and New York State, "I guess it takes all
types."
Finally an extremely beautiful woman crosses their line of sight.
The man from California and New York simultaneously state "10"
The man from St. Louis states loudly, "3.5"
The man from New York asks the man from St. Louis, "What the hell is
wrong with you?" "Are you gay?" "She was beautiful!"
The man from St. Louis turns to him and says, "I'm using the Budweiser
method."
The man from California asks "What is that?"
The man from St. Louis responds "The Budweiser method is to see how
many Clydesdales (horses) it would take to pull her off my face."
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Alumni Chips
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After a somewhat enforced term of government employment at a very
unacceptable. but non negotiable, salary, I decided to pursue a college
degree to improve any future financial rewards available for the use my
personal services. After discharge from my Uncle Sam's care, It was
apparent that he obviously felt some guilt over screwing me over for the
past few years and reluctantly agreed to help fund my matriculation at a
local college. I graduated from the school, with luck and a definite
degree of sacrifice Trying to balance study, partying, many part time
jobs, partying, standing in line trying to justify my right to claim
unemployment dollars as I could not find anyone looking to hire a 50
caliber machine gun operator. partying, plus my social service volunteer
work, helping available nubile female students pass their human
sexuality classes, and imbibing at parties, it was amazing that I
survived. I really never felt any allegiance to the school itself. Once
I was outta that particular pile of bricks, I harbored no particular
desire to ever contribute to their latest fund drive, join any alumni
associations or attend any athletic events. But sure enough, a few years
later, someone in the Alumni Affairs staff called my parents, and
tracked down my current phone number and called. "So, what have you
been doing with yourself?" the perky alumnus inquired. I responded, "Oh,
not a lot. Just hot wiring and stealing cars, running a little moonshine
on the side, when I'm not running a few hookers ." Needless to say, I
haven't heard from them again.
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Christmas Chips
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The 12 Days AFTER Christmas
Part the First
The first day after Christmas
My true love and I had a fight
And so I chopped the pear tree down
And burnt it, just for spite
Then with a single cartridge
I shot that blasted partridge
My true love, my true love,
my true love gave to me.
The second day after Christmas
I pulled on the old rubber gloves
And very gently wrung the necks
Of both the turtle doves
My true love, my true love,
my true love gave to me.
Part the Second
On the third day after Christmas
My mother caught the croup
I had to use the three French hens
To make some chicken soup
The four calling birds were a big mistake
For their language was obscene
The five golden rings were completely fake and turned my fingers green.
Part the Third
The sixth day after Christmas
The six laying geese wouldn't lay
So I sent the whole darn gaggle to the
A.S.P.C.A.
On the seventh day, what a mess I found
The seven swans-a-swimming all had drowned
My true love, my true love,
my true love gave to me.
Part the Fourth
The eighth day after Christmas
Before they could suspect
I bundled up the
Eight maids-a-milking
Nine ladies dancing Ten lords-a-leaping
Eleven pipers piping
Twelve drummers drumming - well, actually I kept one of the dancing
ladies -
And sent them back collect
I wrote my true love
"We are through, love!"
And I said in so many words
"Furthermore your Christmas gifts were for the Birds!"
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Short Chips
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While working in an OB-GYN clinic, a young mother came in for a
scheduled appointment requesting a diaphragm. She had her ten year
old son with her. My friend suggested she might like to ask her son
to wait for her in the lobby, when the young mother stated, "Oh, no.
I need him to see the doctor today. You see, Johnny is taking voice
lessons. His voice coach says he can have Johnny singing from his
diaphragm in no time, and I figured if that was the case, we'd
better get him one fast before the insurance runs out!"
The United Brethren church in Parsons, Kansas was having a program,
and one of the women was supposed to say, "The ass stuck his head
out the window and brayed." The woman didn't want to say "ass" in
church and asked if she could change the word to "donkey". The
other members insisted that she call it an ass, because that's what
it was called in the Bible. One person reminded her of the story
about Jesus riding an ass into Jerusalem. The woman worried about
her line right up until the fateful day of the program. When her
turn came, she stood up in front of the congregation and said, "The
donkey stuck his ass out the window and brayed."
"What kind of job do you do?" a lady passenger asked the man
traveling in her compartment. "I'm a naval surgeon," he replied.
"Goodness!"
said the lady, "How you doctors specialize these days."
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/New Christmas Music
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Ch_Mu/Christ.html
Melva/A Most Inconvenient Christmas
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/V/Most.htm
Rick w/ Christmas~A Silent Night~
http://www.wtv-zone.com/Cruise_2000/r/ChristSilentNight.html
Avery Winter
http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/videos/Avery_Winter.htm
Presence Of Jehovah
http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/videos/PresenceOfJehovah.htm
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Surfin Surfari
Why Me? Moments!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whyme.html
Proud Of Our Troops 6
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/troops6.html
Windows Through Time!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/windowstime.html
Ice Hotel!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/icehotel.html
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
DNS Stuff
http://www.dnsstuff.com/
Regassassin
http://www.malwarebytes.org/regassassin.php
Malwarebytes' Web site
http://www.malwarebytes.org/
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.militaryworkingdogadoptions.com/
Kitty Korner
http://www.thecatgallery.com/funny_cat_tricks.html
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Movie Links
Viagra Commercial
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ngfdrtd.htm
Weight Lifting Surprise
http://www.buffaloschips.com/cdfgdsxgrfd.htm
Why Airplanes Have Pillows
http://www.buffaloschips.com/hjfrfdty.htm
Worst Best Man
http://www.buffaloschips.com/uiygtyutf5.htm
Yellow Snow
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gvfrtd6.htm
Funny Stuff
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sadfswa.htm
German Coast Guard
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdfsafe.htm
Gun Control
http://www.buffaloschips.com/4r4n.htm
How Aliens Fish
http://www.buffaloschips.com/34r43r.htm
Idiot 1
http://www.buffaloschips.com/5y5g3g.htm
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DNA Chips
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Not satisfied with the results he got from his
family doctor, a balding man sought out an
alternative treatment for his hair loss. A friend
referred him to a scientist who had been testing
a chemical that showed great promise.
Within a week after taking the recommended dosage,
a heavy growth of hair appeared on the bald man's
scalp. He was very happy at first, but soon became
alarmed when hair began to grow uncontrollably all
over his body.
After two weeks, he returned to see the scientist.
"What the hell did you give me?" he demanded. "It
was DNA from a Woolly Mammoth."
"Aha!" exclaimed the man. "That would explain the
size of my balls!"
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Toon Chips
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Charming Black Man
http://www.buffaloschips.com/vm,v.htm
Cheaper Than Dating
http://www.buffaloschips.com/lkk.htm
Chicken
http://www.buffaloschips.com/khkjh.htm
bush chenney
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kghdfkhfkgjhglhk.htm
bush pee
http://www.buffaloschips.com/mnvx,,,xmkvjgfd.htm
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Limerick Chips
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Said a lecherous fellow named Shea,
When his prick wouldn't rise for a lay,
"You must sieze it, and squeeze it,
And tease it, and please it,
For Rome wasn't built in a day."
_______________________
Some gentlemen born under Aries
Are likely to go by contraries.
They're apt to ignore
The sweet girl next door
And feel much attracted to fairies.
_______________________
There was a young girl from Peru,
Who noticed her lovers were few;
So she walked out her door
With a fig leaf, no more,
And now she's in bed -- with the flu!
Yer Hillbilly friend in TN...
Ross
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Parting Chips
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This guy and his girlfriend were going at it hot and heavy in the
backseat of his car. A knock was heard on the window and there
stood a cop. The guy got out, shaking like a leaf. The cop said
that he wouldn't arrest him if he could be next.
The guy got back in the car and finished with his girlfriend. When
he got out again, he was still shaking like a leaf. The cop said
there was no reason to be scared, because he wouldn't arrest him if
he could be next.
The guy said 'I'm not afraid that you'll arrest me, it's just that
I've never fucked a cop before!"
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 2131
Rudy's Christmas List
Sandi: So what do you want for Christmas Rudy?
Rudy: You know me, a warm fire, my girl cuddled up to me
Would do fine.
Sandi blushes..
Katie: How about a six pack?
Rudy: Well that would be okay.
Val: How about a steak?
Rudy: I would not say no to that either.
Sandi: I could make you some cookies.
Rudy: COOKIES!! I love cookies.
Sandi: Especially the sugar ones, I know the ones you like.
Rudy drooling: Yeah, my girl knows me really well.
The herd
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Adult Adult
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Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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