Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
The Grinch's of Christmas are alive and are trying to ruin your holidays
by destroying your computer. There has been a flood of emails getting
caught in the anti-virus filters over the past few days from companies
like UPS, USPS, Fed-ex and DHL. Normally during the year if you
received a few mails saying that you had parcels that were being delayed
because of delivery problems, you would be wary because you aren't
expecting deliveries in July. At Christmastime though anything can
happen and the hackers are counting on the spirit of Christmas to
get you to click on links and attachments that will damage your computer
or take you to websites that try to sell you anything from Viagra to
Rolex watches. My email is protected both by my ISP and my computer
against viruses but still a email from DHL made it through the scanners.
I would guess by the time on it that it had been mailed from either
China
or Koreans the time zone was 12 hours early when I looked at it. I
simply
deleted it but had I been expecting a package, I would have Googled
the DHL site and ran the tracking number through their software. Being
overly cautious will keep your computer healthy and stop you from
paying the people at Best Buy 2-300 dollars to clean your computer.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
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Please visit our Sponsor
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Logitech Revue with Google TV (Refurb)
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Christmas Chips
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This guy is on a rooftop about to jump off. His wife has left him, he
has lost his job and he owes thousands of dollars to the bank. Just
as he
finishes his prayers and closes his eyes, ready to jump, Father
Christmas taps him on the shoulder.
Are you OK?" asks Father Christmas.
The man explains why he is so miserable and gets ready to jump.
"Stop!" shouts Father Christmas. "I will grant you three wishes on
the
understanding that you will do me a favor".
"Would you?" the man replies. "That would be wonderful!! Thank you,
thank you!"
Father Christmas promises him that:
1. You shall go home in 1 hour and your wife will be dressed in her
sexiest underwear, begging for forgiveness and longing for your
return,
she will have no recollection of her new boyfriend.
2. You shall go into work tomorrow, sit at your desk and continue
with
your work. Your salary will have increased by 50%. Also, nobody will
have
any recollection of your sacking.
3. You shall go to your bank and you will be in credit, you will have
no outstanding bills.
"Oh thank you, thank you !" says the man. "What is it that I can do
for you?"
Father Christmas tells the man to drop his pants and bend over.
After a quite brutal humping, Father Christmas asks the man how old
he is.
"36" replies the man.
You're a bit old to believe in Father Christmas!" laughs the jolly
fat gay bastard.
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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Hello Nobel Prize
http://www.buffaloschips.com/02280504.htm
Oh Boss
http://www.buffaloschips.com/02280505.htm
Bad Milk
http://www.buffaloschips.com/02280506.htm
Cards
http://www.buffaloschips.com/020280507.htm
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Drunk Chips
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The drunk asked where he could find a house of prostitution.
He got the right number but remembered it wrong and tried to
get into a home where a woman was leaning over the sink
washing dishes.
The drunk rushed over, threw her on the floor and began making
love to her. Her husband, in an adjoining room, heard the ruckus.
He ran to the kitchen, grabbed the drunk and proceeded to beat
him to a pulp before throwing him out the door.
The drunk looked up at him from the driveway and said, "Boy, you
sure got a lot to learn about running a whorehouse!"
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Viewsonic 10" LCD Photo Frame
List Price: $149.99
Sale Price: $69.99 and FREE SHIPPING
http://tinyurl.com/79fat28
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Sex Chips
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Older brother, Joe, was giving advice to his younger brother, Kevin,
on how to have sex with a girl. Joe didn't know how to explain it him
with out being too graphic. So he told him in terms of money because
Joe knew
money. So in terms of directions Joe told Kevin you want to look at a
girl's crotch like money. The top is a quarter, the left is a nickel,
the right is a dollar, and the bottom is a dime. So Kevin goes and
thinks about this. Kevin and his girlfriend finally decide to have
sex,
so he uses the advice his brother gave him. He starts out real slow
going "quarter...., nickel....,dime....,dollar....", in his mind He
goes a little faster saying it in his mind faster
"quarter..,nickel..,dime..,dollar.." He goes even faster saying
"quarter,nickel,dime,dollar" in his mind. He is nearing orgasm and he
starting screaming out loud "Buck forty, Buck forty."
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Samsung 19" LCD Monitor
List Price: $129.99
Sale Price: $69.99 after mail in rebate and FREE SHIPPING
http://tinyurl.com/7pe2plz
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Little Johnny Chips
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Little Johnny hears the word whorehouse in school and asks
his father what it means. His father is quite shocked, and
replies, "Well, uh, you go there to, uh, have a good time."
Johnny starts screaming and hollering that he wants to go
there, too, but his father insists that he's too young.
Saturday night rolls around. Johnny's dad and a few of his
friends head out to Mable's ("Liquor In The Front, Poker In
The Rear! -- Our Customers Come First!) for a "good time."
Naturally, Little Johnny tags along secretly.
After his dad and his dad's friends have been safely inside for
some time, Little Johnny knocks on the door. The madame
opens the door. "Yes?" she asks.
"I'm here to have a good time!"
The madame is a little puzzled, but, being a kind-hearted
soul, invites Little Johnny inside. She gives him three donuts
and then bids him goodbye.
When he gets home, his dad is frantic. (Dad obviously had
come and gone at Mabel's.) "Where have you been?"
"I went to a WHOREHOUSE!" Johnny proudly boasted!
Johnny's dad blanched. "Uhh, you did? Umm, how was it?"
"Well, I managed the first two without any problem, but I just
licked the third one!"
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TomTom 5" GPS (Refurb)
List Price: $99.99
Sale Price: $59.99 and FREE SHIPPING
http://tinyurl.com/7juclsr
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Trucker Chips
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A truck driver brought before the judge for an assault charge. The
Judge
asked the man why he beat the victim up so bad and the truck driver
answered:
"Well sir Judge that man called me a stupid son-of-a- bitch."
The judge replied, "Well you didn't need to beat him up that bad".
The truck driver answered "I know that Judge, but what would you do
if he called you a stupid son-of-a bitch".
The Judge answered: "But I'm not a stupid son-of-a-bitch"
The truck driver answered: "I know that judge, but what would you
do if he called you the kind of a son-of-a-bitch, you are".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
GE Digital Camera - 5x Zoom, 14 Megapixel - Includes Case & 2GB SD
Card
List Price: $109.99
Sale Price: $59.99 and FREE SHIPPING
http://tinyurl.com/7bl8bac
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/A Christmas Memory
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Ann/A_Ch.html
Carolyn w/ Blue Christmas with Porky Pig
http://carolynspreciousmemories.com/50s/porkypigsbluechristmas.html
Rick w/ Angel Of Christmas Cheer~
http://www.wtv-zone.com/Cruise_2000/rm/AngleChristmas.html
Grandpa's Christmas ~ Author Unknown
http://frommyheart2u.com/xmas/grandpaschristmas
Childhood Christmas
http://www.carolspoetry.com/xmaschild.html
Disney Christmas
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/disneychristmas.html
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Earn a Free Apple iPad!
Consumer News: Get a Free Apple iPad! Terms Apply
http://tinyurl.com/3mvwtdl
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Surfin Surfari
Let's Decorate The Tree
http://www.cureington.com/tree.html
Xmas Gullibility Test
http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/tests/xmasquiz/christmas.html
Santa Ho Ho Oh-No's!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/santa.html
Fun With Snow In Russia!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/russia.html
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Want a name brand 3D
Pick out your 3D TV
A new dimension in home entertainment.
Go 3D in your living room.
Make 3D in your living room a reality .
http://tinyurl.com/3h895pk
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Fax Zero
http://faxzero.com/
Grandpa Schober's MIDI Files
http://www.grandpaschober.com/
Ram Test
http://oca.microsoft.com/en/windiag.asp
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Earn a Free $100 Cheesecake Factory Gift Card.
Free $100 Cheesecake Factory Gift Card! See Details
http://tinyurl.com/3kr35gd
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.hut.fi/~mtt/training.html
Kitty Korner
http://www.forgottenfelines.com/
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Earn a Free $1000 Victoria's Secret Gift Card.
Get a Free Victoria's Secret Gift Card! Terms Apply
http://tinyurl.com/3js4dtn
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Movie Links
Wrong Phone
http://www.buffaloschips.com/7827.htm
WW30mm
http://www.buffaloschips.com/7828.htm
XX Cigar Rolling
http://www.buffaloschips.com/7829.htm
Kitty Cat Song
http://www.buffaloschips.com/7830.htm
Royal Canadian Air Farce
http://www.buffaloschips.com/7831.htm
x352
http://www.buffaloschips.com/72212.htm
Yeah Right
http://www.buffaloschips.com/72213.htm
Your Side Of The family
http://www.buffaloschips.com/72214.htm
Lake Delton Break To WI River
http://www.buffaloschips.com/72215.htm
Baby Panda Sneeze
http://www.buffaloschips.com/72216.htm
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Reindeer Chips
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One evening, in a busy lounge in the deep south, a reindeer
walked in the door, bellied up to the bar and ordered a martini.
Without batting an eye, the bartender mixed and poured the drink,
set it in front of the reindeer, and accepted the twenty-dollar
bill from the reindeer's hoof.
As he handed the reindeer some coins in change, he said "You
know, I think you're the first reindeer I've ever seen in here."
The reindeer looked hard at the hoofful of change and said,
"Hmmmpf. I'll tell you something, buddy. At these fuckin' prices,
I'm the last reindeer you'll see in here."
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Toon Chips
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Go With The Flow
http://www.buffaloschips.com/2230522.htm
Women in Boxing
http://www.buffaloschips.com/02280501.htm
Trivial Pursuit
http://www.buffaloschips.com/02280502.htm
Talented Tongue
http://www.buffaloschips.com/02280503.htm
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Ario 32" LED HDTV
List Price: $399.99
Sale Price: $199.99 after mail in rebate and FREE SHIPPING
http://tinyurl.com/7s7zks4
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Limerick Chips
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I wonder what Christmas will be,
No merriment, good cheer or glee,
Now that Santa's arrested,
Because someone protested,
That he laid some doll under their tree.
Last night I found my sweetheart Flo,
Posed beneath a spray of mistletoe.
"How come", said I, "when Christmas Day
Is still a good long week away?"
"Ah, shucks", she said. "Don't make me blush -
Shop early and avoid the rush!"
That wily old pervert St. Nick
Made good use of the curve to his dick.
He glazed the whole shaft
Painted stripes, then he laughed
As he offered young ladies a lick.
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Dell 17.3" Laptop with Intel Core i3 CPU, 4GB DDR3 Memory, 500GB
Hard Drive, Much More...
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http://tinyurl.com/7e5qmeo
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Parting Chips
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Dear Christeen,
I have been watching you very closely to see if you have been good this
year, and since you have, I will be telling my elves to make some
goodies for me to leave under your tree at Christmas.
I was going to bring you all the gifts from the "Twelve Days of
Christmas," but we have had a little problem up here. The Twelve
Fiddlers Fiddling have all come down with VD from fiddling with the Ten
Ladies Dancing. The Eleven Lords a Leaping have knocked up the Eight
Maids of Milking, and the Nine Pipers Playing have been arrested for
doing weird things. Four Calling Birds, Three French Hens, Two Turtle
Doves, and the Partridge in a Pear Tree have me up to my ass in bird
shit.
On top of all this, Mrs. Claus is going through menopause, eight of my
reindeer are in heat, the elves have joined the Gay Liberation and some
dumb-ass has scheduled Christmas in Poland for the 5th of February.
Sincerely,
Santa
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AOC 16" Portable LED Monitor - USB Powered
Sale Price: $129.99 and FREE SHIPPING
http://tinyurl.com/8y569wj
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 2128
Christmastime Continued
Val: What are you getting for mother?
Rudy: For Toots, I have something very
special. I have a do it yourself tattoo kit.
Sandi: I am sure she will love that Rudy.
I have for Mommy a gift certificate to Petsmart.
Katie: I have a gift certificate for grooming at
Petco for mother.
Val: I saved up and got her a nice bouncy ball to
play with and a chew toy.
Rudy: I think we all did quite well.
Katie: I saved an old 50 pound dog food sack
and we can put our presents in there.
Sandi: Great idea and the next kill I make, I can
cover it with red to match the season.
The herd
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Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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