Adult Adult
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Elf Chips
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ELF LABOR COMPLAINTS
- Must we listen to Christmas Carols all year long?
- We're tired of making Barbie Dolls, can't we make some Paris Hilton
action
dolls?
- Besides the Head Elf, nobody ever gets any promotions.
- Santa never lets us have any eggnog.
- Listening to those damned chimes makes our ears hurt.
- We hear Santa is going to outsource our jobs to Mexicans.
- How come we never get Christmas off?
- Who gets all the cookies and milk? Not us!
- Those damned reindeer keep pissing on our floor!
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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
License Plate
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32136.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffaloschips.com/32136.htm "> Here!</a>
Life Savers
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32135.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffaloschips.com/32135.htm "> Here!</a>
Lepraconstipation
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32134.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffaloschips.com/32134.htm "> Here!</a>
Laughs
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32133.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffaloschips.com/32133.htm "> Here!</a>
I Told You
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32132.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffaloschips.com/32132.htm "> Here!</a>
Kiss Me I'm Irish
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32131.htm
<a href=" "> Here!</a>
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Phd Chips
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"Why G~d Never Received A PhD"
1. He had only one major publication.
2. It was in Hebrew. (I.e. not in English)
3. It had no references.
4. It wasn't published in a refereed journal.
5. Some even doubt He wrote it by himself.
6. It may be true that He created the world, but
what has He done since then?
7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
8. The scientific community has had a hard time
replicating His results.
9. He never applied to the ethics board for permission
to use human subjects.
10. When one experiment went awry He tried to cover
it by drowning His subjects.
11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, He
deleted them from the sample.
12. He rarely came to class, just told students to
read the book.
13. Some say He had his son teach the class.
14. He expelled His first two students for learning.
15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most
of His students failed His tests.
16. His office hours were infrequent and usually
held on a mountain top.
17. No record of working well with colleagues.
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Obama Chips
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Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama were sitting at the bar, drinking
in silence. Suddenly, Hillary turns and without warning, cold cocks
Obama, knocking him off his barstool.
After a moment Obama regains enough of his senses to say "What the
hell did you do that for?"
Clinton replies "That was for destroying the World Trade Centers!"
Barack responds "I didn't destroy the World Trade Centers. That was
Osama Bin Laden."
Clinton answers "Osama, Obama - same damn thing."
Obama shakes his head, climbs back onto his stool and continues with
his drinking. Several minutes later, he turns to Clinton and
without warning, cold cocks her and knocks her to the floor.
Getting to her knees and shaking her head to clear it, she demands
"What the hell did you do that for?"
Obama responds "That was for lying to the Grand Jury, obstructing
justice and for disgracing our country and the Office of the
President."
Clinton answers "I didn't do any of that, it was my husband Bill
Clinton."
Barack responds "Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton - same damn thing."
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Reunion Chips
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Rachel, Clare and Samantha haven't seen each other since High
School. They rediscover each other via a reunion website and arrange
to meet for lunch in a wine bar.
Rachel arrives first, wearing beige Versace. She orders a bottle of
Pinot Grigio. Clare arrives shortly afterward, in gray Chanel. After
the required ritualized kisses she joins Rachel in a glass of wine.
Then Samantha walks in, wearing a faded old tee-shirt, blue jeans
and boots. She too shares the wine.
Rachel explains that after leaving high school and graduating from
Princeton in Classics, she met and married Timothy, with whom she
has a beautiful daughter. Timothy is a partner in one of New York 's
leading law firms. They live in a 4000 sq ft co-op on Fifth Avenue,
where Susanna, the daughter, attends drama school. They have a
second home in Phoenix.
Clare relates that she graduated from Harvard Med School and became
a surgeon. Her husband, Clive, is a leading Wall Street investment
banker. They live in Southampton on Long Island and have a second
home in Naples,Florida .
Samantha explains that she left school at 17 and ran off with her
boyfriend, Ben. They run a tropical bird park in California and grow
their own vegetables. Ben can stand five parrots, side by side, on
his willy.
Halfway down the third bottle of wine and several hours later,
Rachel blurts out the her husband is a cashier at Walmart. They live
in a small apartment in Brooklyn and have a travel trailer parked at
a nearby storage facility.
Clare, chastened and encouraged by her old friend's honesty,
explains that she and Clive are both nurses' aides in a retirement
home. They live in Jersey City and take vacation camping trips to
Alabama.
Samantha says that the fifth parrot has to stand on one leg.
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Shipwreck Chips
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A young kid's in a shipwreck and he winds up stranded on a tropical
island. For twenty years he never sees another human being. Then
one day a beautiful girl with long blond hair, her clothes
half-ripped off, washes up on a piece of driftwood.
He explains to her how he existed for twenty years, digging for
clams, and eating fruits and berries.
She says, "Well, what did you do for love?"
He says, "Love? What's that?"
She says, "I'll show you." She shows him. Then she shows him again.
Then she shows him one more time. When they're finally done, she
says, "Well, how do you like love?"
He says, "It's great. But look what you did to my clam digger."
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/New Music(Country)
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Mu/Co/Cu.html
How To become a Christian
http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/Pages/HowToBecomeAChristian.htm
Gift From the Heart
http://www.carolspoetry.com/heart.html
Answer to a Child's Prayer (Sequel to above poem)
http://www.carolspoetry.com/childs.html
Last Day
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/lastday.html
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Surfin Surfari
When Sandman Attacks
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/sandman.html
Christmas CAN CAN
http://tinyurl.com/yab2zq6
Santa Election
http://tinyurl.com/chsdbnx
Dogs Saying Grace Before Meals
http://www.dogwork.com/prybrme8/
Hilltop: A Kids View Of The Christmas Story
http://tinyurl.com/cpkhtu3
Kid-Friendly Winter Activities
http://www.ivillage.com/winter-activities-kids/6-b-317446
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Javascript Tutorial
http://www.pageresource.com/jscript/index.html
FTP Tutorial
http://www.pageresource.com/putweb/ftptut1.htm
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Animal World
Amazing Dog Houses
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/doghouses.html
Kitty Korner
http://www.pbase.com/oregon2u/cats
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Movie Links
Fanfare
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jakjkas.htm
Final Call
http://www.buffaloschips.com/askla.htm
Flashlights
http://www.buffaloschips.com/saasjka.htm
Girls
http://www.buffaloschips.com/skal.htm
Giving Change Adult
http://www.buffaloschips.com/skksls.htm
Kitty Is In Love
http://www.buffaloschips.com/87y5r.htm
Kiwi Bacon Mmmm!
http://www.buffaloschips.com/43r.htm
Loafing
http://www.buffaloschips.com/5r5.htm
Looking For My Wallet And Car Keys
http://www.buffaloschips.com/7y.htm
Lundi
http://www.buffaloschips.com/8uh.htm
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Football Chips
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John Elway goes to Heaven Vs Brett Favre
John Elway, after living a full life, died. When he got to heaven, God
was showing him around. They came to a modest little house with a faded
Broncos flag in the window. "This house is yours for eternity, John,"
said God. "This is very special; not everyone gets a house up here."
John felt special, indeed, and walked up to his house.
On his way up the porch, he noticed another house just around the
corner. It was a 3-story mansion with a Green and Gold sidewalk, a 50
foot tall flagpole with an enormous Packers logo flag, and in every
window, a Cheesehead! John looked at God and said "God, I'm not trying
to be ungrateful, but I have a question. I was an all-pro QB, I won 2
Super Bowls, and I even went to the Hall of Fame." God said "So what do
you want to know, John?" "Well, why does Brett Favre get a better house
than me?"
God chuckled and said "John, that's not Brett Favre's house, it's
mine.!!!!"
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Toon Chips
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Must You Wear Curlers Every Night?
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32139.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffaloschips.com/32139.htm "> Here!</a>
Mouse Pad For Men
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32138.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffaloschips.com/32138.htm "> Here!</a>
Michael Jackson Evidence
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32137.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffaloschips.com/32137.htm "> Here!</a>
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Limerick Chips
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There once was a young holy roller,
Had a boy friend attempt to console her.
She'd gone down on his cock,
That was hard as a rock...
Chipped a tooth, plus she knocked out a molar.
_________________________________________
There is a young woman from Riga
With morals depressingly meager,
She's seduced twice a week
By a lecherous Greek
If "seduced" is the word when she's eager.
_________________________________________
There once was a man named Eugene
Who invented a screwing machine
Concave and convex
It served either sex
And it played with itself in between.
Ross
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Parting Chips
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Recently a man had to go to the hospital to have his wedding ring
cut off his penis after his mistress found the ring in his pants pocket
and got so mad at him she stuck it on him while he was asleep.
Which is worse?
1) having your mistress find out you're married.
2) explaining to your wife how your wedding ring got on your penis.
3) Or finding out your penis fits through your wedding ring.
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 2132
Val's Christmas Wish List
Rudy: Val what do you want for Christmas?
Val: A new bouncy ball.
Katie: You must want more than that. How about food?
Val: Just a new bouncy ball.
Sandi: How about a chew toy?
Val: Just a new bouncy ball.
Katie: This is un-american. You must ask for a lot. How
about a portable DVD player?
Val: A new bouncy ball will be fine.
Rudy: How about a new sweater?
Val: Sigh, to make me happy, really happy, you know
what I would really like?
Sandi/Rudy/Katie: What?
Val: A new bouncy ball.
The herd
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Adult Adult
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Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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