Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I haven't been outside in almost a month but I hear there is finally
snow on the ground. It isn't unusual for the weather patterns to leave
the
ground bare to a week or so before Christmas but in all my years
I have only seen one green Christmas up here. Interestingly enough
there have been nights lately when it has been colder at night in San
Diego
than back hereand I have enjoyed leaving the window cracked at night.
My thermostat is set at 76 degrees and with the new high efficiency
heater and the deal I made with the gas company, I am paying about 75
dollars a month less this year.
How Cold Is It?
+60 Californians put on sweaters.
+50 Miami residents turn on the heat.
+45 Vermont residents go to outdoor concert.
+40 You can see your breath.
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
Minnesotans go swimming.
+35 Italian cars don't start.
+32 Water freezes.
+30 You plan your vacation in Australia.
+25 Ohio water freezes.
Californians weep pitiably.
Minnesotans eat ice cream.
Canadians go swimming.
+20 Politicians begin to talk about the homeless.
New York City water freezes.
Miami residents plan vacation further south.
+15 French cars don't start.
Cat insists on sleeping with you.
+10 You need jumper cables to get the car going.
+5 American cars don't start.
0 Alaskans put on T-shirts.
-10 German cars don't start.
Eyes freeze shut when you blink.
-15 You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo.
Arkansans stick tongues on metal objects.
Miami residents cease to exist.
-20 Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with you.
Politicians actually do something about the homeless.
Minnesotans shovel snow off roof.
Japanese cars don't start.
-25 Too cold to think.
You need jumper cables to get the driver going.
-30 You plan a two week hot bath.
Swedish cars don't start.
-40 Californians disappear.
Minnesotans button top button.
Canadians put on sweater.
Your cat helps you plan your trip south.
-50 Congressional hot air freezes.
Alaskans close the bathroom window.
-80 Hell freezes over.
Polar bears move south.
Green Bay Packer fans order hot cocoa at the game.
-90 Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets.
-100 Canadian buildings turn off air conditioning.
For the tenth year, Ernie and a small group of friends are
collecting donations and arranging tickets home for military
that would be unable to go home for the holidays. So far they have
completed 89 tickets for people as far away as Korea and Japan.
Nothing is worse than being alone on a base 100's of miles from
home when your command is granting Christmas Leave. If you
have something you can contribute be it 5 dollars or fifty please
visit this website and tell your friends.
Help Send A Soldier Or Sailor Home for Christmas
http://www.lbeh.org/?status
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Please visit our Sponsor
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Acer Iconia 10.1" Tablet - Android 3.0 (refurb)
List Price: $499.99
Sale Price: $329.99 and FREE SHIPPING
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Santa Chips
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Twas the night before Christmas
And naughty girl I
Went to offer my Santa
Some sweet honey pie
I knew he couldn't
Resist this sweet treat
I know for a fact
Tis his fave thing to eat
So I put on my stockings
My heels and my lipstick
And asked him to show me
Where he keeps his dipstick.
I went down on my knees
And unzipped his fly
Then sucked his cock down
In the blink of an eye.
He moaned and he whimpered
As my tongue stroked his sac
He said this is better than all
The toys in my pack!
His hands held my head
As I continued to blow
Then he laid me down quickly
And put his tongue down below
He was sure and so lively
He made me scream and then beg
As he sucked on my clit
And pinned down my legs.
You're mine, you bad girl
He said with a spank
Then rolled me onto my stomach
Deep inside me he sank
He rode me so hard
I knew when he came
Because he panted, then shouted
And called me by name.
He fucked me all night
And without any warning
He tied me to the bed
And shagged me til morning.
I am sure that the rest
Of the story is clear
You and I will be renting
That suit again next year!
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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
businessmans hotel
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w061.html
bus stop
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w062.html
I'm prepared
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w063.html
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Marine Chips
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Christmas In The Corps
T'was the night before Christmas
and all the the Corps
Not a sole had liberty,
the troops were all sore.
Yes, every Marine
every Marine in the lot
was lying on a rack of nails
called a Marine Corps Cot.
When out on the Parade Deck
I heard such a clatter,
I sprang from my cot
to see what the hell was the matter.
With bayonet in hand
I moved stealthily to the door
I cautiously waited to see
if there were more.
Yes, it was the Commandant of Marines
this there was no doubt
he was wearing his poncho
green side out.
He carefully moved from rack to rack
he cautiously inspected each rifle and pack
to a chosen few a 96 chit
but to the majority a ration of s*it
As he pulled away in his gold plated tank
pulled by ten colonels all bucking for rank
I heard him say, and he said with a shot
Merry Christmas you *uckers you'll never get out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor. The doctor says,
"Okay, Mrs. Jones, what's the problem?"
The mother says, "It's my daughter Darla. She keeps getting these
cravings, she's putting on weight, and is sick most mornings."
The doctor gives Darla a good examination, then turns to the mother and
says, "Well, I don't know how to tell you this, but your Darla is
pregnant - about 4 months, would be my guess."
The mother says, "Pregnant?! She can't be, she has never ever been left
alone with a man! Have you, Darla?"
Darla says, "No mother! I've never even kissed a man!"
The doctor walked over to the window and just stares out it. About five
minutes pass and finally the mother says, "Is there something wrong out
there doctor?"
The doctor replies, "No, not really, it's just that the last time
anything like this happened, a star appeared in the east and three wise
men came over the hill. I'll be darned if I'm going to miss it this
time!"
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Hitachi 2tb External USB Hard Drive
Sale Price: $99.99 and FREE SHIPPING
http://tinyurl.com/886o5bz
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Memo Chips
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To: All Employees
From: Management
Subject: Office conduct during the Christmas season
x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*
Effective immediately, employees should keep in mind
the following guidelines in compliance with FROLIC
(the Federal Revelry Office and Leisure Industry Council).
1. Running aluminum foil through the paper shredder
to make tinsel is discouraged.
2. Playing Jingle Bells on the push-button phone is
forbidden. (It runs up an incredible long distance bill.)
3. Egg nog will NOT be dispensed in vending machines.
4. Company cars are not to be used to go over the
river and through the woods to Grandma's house.
5. All fruitcake is to be eaten BEFORE July 25.
6. Work requests are not to be filed under "Bah humbug."
In spite of all this, the staff is encouraged to have
a Happy Holiday.
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AOC 16" Portable LED Monitor - USB Powered
Sale Price: $129.99 and FREE SHIPPING
http://tinyurl.com/8y569wj
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Twisted Chips
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Suzie, Suzie, working in a shoeshine shop.
All day long she sits and shines,
all day long she shines and sits,
and sits and shines, and shines and sits,
and sits and shines, and shines and sits.
Suzie, Suzie, working in a shoeshine shop.
Tommy, Tommy, toiling in a tailor's shop.
All day long he fits and tucks,
all day long he tucks and fits,
and fits and tucks, and tucks and fits,
and fits and tucks, and tucks and fits.
Tommy, Tommy, toiling in a tailor's shop
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Dell 17.3" Laptop with Intel Core i3 CPU, 4GB DDR3 Memory, 500GB
Hard Drive, Much More...
Sale Price: $499.99 and FREE SHIPPING
http://tinyurl.com/7e5qmeo
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Viagra Chips
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Bob, suffering from impotence, went to see a specialist. The doctor
gave him a prescription for medication to take faithfully three times
a day, always with food.
Two days later Bob was at a formal banquet and didn't want any of the
other guests to spot and possibly identify his blue medication. So
he instructed the waiter to stir the little blue pill into his soup.
He was thinking he could eat his soup openly with everyone else, take
his medication that way, and preserve his privacy all at the same
time.
However, when soup was served everyone received a bowl except Bob --
who began feeling conspicuous and angry. He confronted the waiter
and asked why he hadn't been served his "special" soup.
"Well, sir, I stirred your medication into your bowl as instructed.
Since then, I've been waiting for the noodles and carrots to lie
down."
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Ario 32" LED HDTV
List Price: $399.99
Sale Price: $199.99 after mail in rebate and FREE SHIPPING
http://tinyurl.com/7s7zks4
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LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Manger Baby
http://silverandgoldandthee.com/Christmas/MangerBaby.html
Christmas Poems Of The Week
http://ministry-webs.com/ministry/brotherbob/
Christmas Wish
http://www.carolspoetry.com/carol37.html
Greatest Gift
http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/Pages/GreatestGift.htm
Judy w/ As Years Go By
http://www.frommyheart2u.com/family/asyearsgoby/
Disney Christmas!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/disneychristmas.html
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Earn a Free Apple iPad!
Consumer News: Get a Free Apple iPad! Terms Apply
http://tinyurl.com/3mvwtdl
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
Wreaths Across America
http://wreathsacrossamerica.org/
Write Santa Claus at home for a free Santa Letter
http://www.santa-at-home.com/
Fun With Snow In Russia
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/russia.html
Got A Nanosecond 2?
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/nano2.html
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Want a name brand 3D
Pick out your 3D TV
A new dimension in home entertainment.
Go 3D in your living room.
Make 3D in your living room a reality .
http://tinyurl.com/3h895pk
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Free Operating Systems
http://www.freeos.com/
Previous Versions of Software
http://www.oldversion.com/
Montage Tags
http://www.wormworks.org/tags/photo/
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Earn a Free $100 Cheesecake Factory Gift Card.
Free $100 Cheesecake Factory Gift Card! See Details
http://tinyurl.com/3kr35gd
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.raaacartoons.com/christmas1.html
Animal Friends 2
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animalfriends2.html
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Earn a Free $1000 Victoria's Secret Gift Card.
Get a Free Victoria's Secret Gift Card! Terms Apply
http://tinyurl.com/3js4dtn
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Movie Links
Spitz Hound
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81819.htm
Sex with the witness
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81820.htm
Stay off the pole
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81821.htm
Store Clerk
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81822.htm
Strip Tease
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81823.htm
Love
http://www.buffaloschips.com/3r44.htm
Hair Piece
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jhg7.htm
Hang Onto That Pole
http://www.buffaloschips.com/mjh.htm
Happy New Year
http://www.buffaloschips.com/76tg.htm
Hard Day
http://www.buffaloschips.com/o8u.htm
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Kid Chips
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Dave was staring sadly into his pint and sighed heavily.
"What's up Dave" asked the Landlord...
"It's not like you to be so down in the mouth"
"It's my four year old son..." the man replied.
"Don't tell me, he's in trouble for fighting
in school? - my lad's just the same - forget
about it, it happens to boys that age" said
the landlord, sympathetically. " I only wish
it was that" continued the customer, " but it's
far worse than that. The little bastard has got
our gorgeous 18 year old next door neighbour pregnant."
"Get away, that's impossible!" gasped the landlord
"It's not" said the man...
"the little shit stuck a pin in all my condoms"
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Toon Chips
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Grab
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30836.htm
Grand theft
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30837.htm
Hard Boiled
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30838.htm
Begging
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30839.htm
Not pretty
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30840.htm
Queer
http://www.buffaloschips.com/20841.htm
Dating Agency
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30842.htm
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TomTom 5" GPS (Refurb)
List Price: $99.99
Sale Price: $59.99 and FREE SHIPPING
http://tinyurl.com/7juclsr
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
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There was a young fellow named Biddle
Whose girl had to teach him to fiddle.
She grabbed hold of his bow,
And said, "If you want to know,
You can try parting my hair in the middle. "
________________________________________
A transvestite from Lyford-By-Tyme
Who was in court for a horrific crime,
Said, "Your honor, oh no!
It cannot be so
For I was a broad at the time.
(John S. Crosby)
________________________________________
"Go to father," she said,
When he asked her to wed,
And she knew that he knew that her father was dead,
And she knew that he knew what a life he had led,
So she knew that he knew what she meant as she said,
"Go to father."
(Thomas P. Schnapp)
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Samsung 19" LCD Monitor
List Price: $129.99
Sale Price: $69.99 after mail in rebate and FREE SHIPPING
http://tinyurl.com/7pe2plz
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Parting Chips
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THIS JUST IN:
We all remember when KFC offered a "Hillary"
meal, consisting of 2 small breasts and 2 large thighs.
Now, KFC is offering the "Obama Cabinet Bucket". It consists of
nothing but left wings and chicken shit.
Just keeping you up to date.
Myron
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Viewsonic 10" LCD Photo Frame
List Price: $149.99
Sale Price: $69.99 and FREE SHIPPING
http://tinyurl.com/79fat28
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 2026
Hunting For Thanksgiving Dinner
BJ: Where is Sandi?
Katie: I think she is out hunting for our
Thanksgiving dinner. Don't worry she will
get any turkeys for guineas. We do not want
to upset Gus's or Horace's families.
Diana: Of course not.
A while later.....
Sandi comes shuffling in the door with a bag over her shoulder...
Humming
Rudy: What's in the bag?
Sandi: Thanksgiving.
Diana: Let me see what's in there...
Ew, a dead coyote, a opossum, a snake, squirrel, a raccoon.
Sandi: Yep, the coyote put up a pretty good fight, but they
should make a pretty good stew.
BJ: I think not. It will be ham again this year.
Sandi: Aw, all that work for nothing. At least let me have
Some for snacks.
The herd
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Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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