Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Although I normally feel smarter than the average buffalo, right
now I feel like an idiot. I just spent a month in bed unable to walk
because of gout in my ankles and possibly knee and now I know
I am the one to blame. When I went to see the kidney doc last
month just coming off a bout of gout, he raised the dosage of
allopurinol from 200 mg a day to 300 mg. His office called the new
script in and I picked it up. For 29 days I took 3 pills a day and
last night I went online and ordered the refill from Walgreen's.
It came back as rejected by insurance company because it was
too soon. That was when I took a look at the bottle and found out they
were 300 mg. and I was only supposed to be taking one day.
The side effect listed which had never been a problem at the lower
dosage were a problem at 900 mg. a day especially since 600 mg
is considered the max dosage. It listed nausea, sore throat, fever,
flu symptoms and most of the other aches and pains I have been
feeling and I have been blaming it on this year's flu shot. Tomorrow
I have to drag myself over for blood tests to see if I messed anything
else up because the stuff is hard on your kidneys and can make
me more susceptible to bleeding with the blood thinners.
So anyhow even though Medicare would not refill the the 300 mg. script
for another 45 days they have no problem refilling one for 3 100 mg.
tablets a day. Go figure that one. On the bad side the sudden change
in dosage could give me another flare of gout.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
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Ice Cream Chips
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Last week, I took my grand-children to a restaurant. My six-year-old
grand-son asked if he could say grace.
As we bowed our heads he said, "God is good, God is great. Thank you for
the food, and I would even thank you more if Grandpa gets us ice cream
for dessert. And liberty and justice for all! Amen!"
Along with the laughter from the other customers nearby, I heard a woman
remark, "That's what's wrong with this country. Kids today don't even
know how to pray. Asking God for ice cream! Why, I never!"
Hearing this, my grand-son burst into tears and asked me, "Did I do it
wrong? Is God mad at me?"
As I held him and assured him that he had done a terrific job, and God
was certainly not mad at him, an elderly gentleman approached the table.
He winked at my grand-son and said, "I happen to know that God thought
that was a great prayer."
"Really?" my grand-son asked. "Cross my heart," the man replied.
Then, in a theatrical whisper, he added (indicating the woman whose
remark had started this whole thing), "Too bad she never asks God for
ice cream. A little ice cream is good for the soul sometimes."
Naturally, I bought my grand-children ice cream at the end of the meal.
My grand-son stared at his for a moment, and then did something I will
remember the rest of my life.
He picked up his sundae and, without a word, walked over and placed it
in front of the woman. With a big smile he told her, "Here, this is for
you. Shove it up your ass you grouchy old bitch! "
The End
Rose
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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
the truth
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Sailor Chips
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Three servicemen, Air Force, Marine, and a Sailor,
were all on a flight to go home on leave after spending
time in Afghanistan.
When they landed, a man approached them and
said, "Boys, to show my thanks for serving our country
I'm gonna give you my truck to drive home so you don't
have to pay for a cab."
The guys thankfully agreed and drove off. Halfway
there, the truck broke down and they were stuck out on a
lonely stretch of road. Off in the distance they saw a
farmhouse and went to ask to use the phone.
When the man at the door answered and saw the men
in uniform, he invited them in. He said, "Boys, for serving
our country, I'll cook you a steak dinner and you can shack
up with my three daughters. You'll have to discuss amongst
yourselves who sleeps with which girl, and there's plenty
beer in the fridge."
The men ate and the first girl came down the stairs, a
very pretty girl. The fly boy jumped up and said, "She's
mine," and they went upstairs.
The second girl came down, prettier than the first. The
jarhead snatched her up and they, too, went upstairs.
The sailor waited for the last girl, sure that he would be
getting the heifer of the group. To his delight she came
down and was the finest of them all.
The next morning the farmer was cooking breakfast
when the fly boy came down, uniform neatly pressed, fresh looking.
The farmer asked if he wanted breakfast, but the fly boy
said, "No, thank you, sir. You've done enough already,"
and left.
The jarhead came down next, uniform not as neat as
the fly boy's, but still acceptable. The farmer offered him
food, but he only drank coffee, thanked the farmer and left.
The sailor finally came down, still a little drunk,
neckerchief messed up and missing a shoe. The farmer
offered him breakfast. The sailor ate everything offered
and left without even a 'thank you.'
After they all were gone, the farmer called his girls
down. Rubbing his hands together greedily, he said, "OK,
girls, how did we do?"
The girl who had been with the airman said, "He fondled
me a little, drank a beer, fell asleep and gave me $200!"
The girl who had been with the marine said, "He made
love to me one time, had a couple beers and gave me $150."
The poor girl who had been with the sailor appeared tired
and worn out saying, "He made love to me all night, drank
the rest of the beer and I'll be damned if he didn't borrow $50
from me till next payday!"
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Viewsonic 10" LCD Photo Frame
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Zoo Chips
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This kindergarten teacher was taking her class
to the zoo for a field trip. They came to the
cage for the zebra:
TEACHER: Who can tell me what animal this is?
JOHNNY: Well, it looks like a horse, has black
and white stripes. Must be a zebra.
TEACHER: Very good, Johnny.
They come to the elephant.
TEACHER: Class, who can tell me what animal
this is?
JANE: It has big feet, is very big and has a
trunk. Is it an elephant?
TEACHER: Very good, Jane.
They come to the baboon cage.
TEACHER: who can tell me what animal this is?
No response.
Finally Billy raised his hand reluctantly.
TEACHER: OK. Billy, would you like to try?
BILLY: Well, it has a big belly and has a lot
of hair all over, and has a stupid look on his
face... must be a truck driver.
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Samsung 19" LCD Monitor
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Stealth Chips
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'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the skies,
Air defences were up, with electronic eyes.
Combat pilots were nestled in ready-room beds,
As enemy silhouettes danced in their heads.
Every jet on the apron, each SAM in its tube,
Was triply-redundant, linked to the Blue Cube,
And ELINT and AWACS gave coverage so dense
That nothing that flew could slip through our defence.
When out of the klaxon arose such a clatter
I dashed to the screen to see what was the matter;
I increased the gain and then, quick as a flash,
Fine-adjusted the filters to damp out the hash.
And there found the source of the warning we'd heeded:
An incoming blip, by eight escorts preceded.
"Alert status red!" went the word down the wire,
As we gave every system the codes that meant "FIRE!"
On Aegis! Up Patriot, Phalanx and Hawk!
And scramble our fighters--let's send the whole flock!
Launch decoys and missiles! Use chaff by the yard!
Get the kitchen sink up! Call the National Guard!
They turned toward the target, moved toward it, converged.
Till the tracks on the radar all finally merged,
And the sky was lit up with a demonic light,
As the foe met his fate in the high arctic night.
So we sent out some recon to look for debris,
Yet all that they found, both on land and on sea
Were some toys, a red hat, a charred left leather boot,
Broken sleigh bells, white hair, and a deer's parachute.
Now it isn't quite Christmas, with Saint Nick shot down.
There are unhappy kids in each village and town.
For the Spirit of Christmas can't hope to evade
All the web of defences we've carefully made.
But a crash program's on: Working hard, night and day,
All the elves are constructing a radar-proof sleigh.
So let's wait for next Christmas, in cheer and in health,
For the future has hope: Santa's coming by stealth!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Mary Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Zikes! What a year! Joseph forgot to make reservations
at the Bethlehem Inn (his carpentry projects aren't the only
thing made out of wood!). So they stick us in this stable full
of stale hay and stinking animals and guess what??? I go
right into labor. My OB doc said: "Make the trip."
Anyway, we have a new baby boy that we think is truly
special. But it's been a madhouse ever since! First, we
can't agree on a name. Joseph likes Immanuel;
I'm holding out for Jesus. Next, all these shepherds stop
by to gawk (as if the smell wasn't bad enough). At least
those three camel jockeys brought gifts (ever try to exchange
myrrh without a receipt?) We can't get a good
night's sleep with that stupid star shining through the cracks
in the ceiling, and every store in town is sold out of swaddling.
Well, got to go!
Joseph had another one of his goofy visions so I guess we're
off to Egypt. This time, I make the reservations!
All my love,
Mary
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/New Christmas Music
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Ch_Mu/Christ.html
You Are The Only You God Has
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/BibleStudy/onlyyougodhas.html
When Was Jesus Christ Born?
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/BibleStudy/whenjesusborn.html
Perfect Gift
http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/Pages/ThePerfectGift.htm
Christmas Time
http://www.carolspoetry.com/christmastime.html
Christmas Time by Judy
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Urban Legends Christmas Pages
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Christmas Games
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Christmas Crafts
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Ping Plotter
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Outlook Express
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Movie Links
Sensitivity Training
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Serv 3 Chunk
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Sex In The Future
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Short Dip
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Dodge Viper VS Tzero Electric Car
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Dog In Trance
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Don't Eat While Driving
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Energy Star
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Court Chips
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At a rape trial the young victim was asked by the D.A. what the
defendant
said before the alleged assault. Too embarrassed to answer aloud, the
victim
asked if she could write out the answer, After reading the note the
judge
instructed the jury foreman to read it and pass it arnong the rest of
the
jurors.
One juror, who had dozed off, was nudged by the woman juror sitting
next to
him. He took the note from her and read, "I'm going to fuck you like
you've
never been fucked before."
The juror smiled at the woman and slipped the note in his pocket.
"Will juror number 12 please pass the note to me!" ordered the judge.
"I can't, Your Honor," the juror answered. "It's personal."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
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Finger nails
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Lard Ass
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Back Face
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Royal Stuck-up
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Typing
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Book of Mormon
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Big Nutz
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30809.htm
Customs
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Fishing
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Limerick Chips
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There once was a young man named Eugene
Who invented a screwing machine
Concave and convex
It served either sex
And it played with itself in between.
---------------------
There was a young lady named Gay,
Who was asked to make love in the hay.
She jumped at the chance
And took off her pants,
She was tickled to try it that way!
---------------------
I wonder what Christmas will be,
No merriment, good cheer or glee,
Now that Santa's arrested,
Because someone protested,
That he laid some doll under their tree.
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Parting Chips
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A blonde walks into a pro shop, points to a golf club and asks the
clerk the price. The clerk looked to where she was pointing and
stated that the owner told him not to sell golf equipment to blondes
because they always seem to return the items.
The blonde left the shop, very mad, and walked down the street to a
wig shop, where she bought a brunette wig.
She returned to the pro shop and, pointing to the same golf club,
asked the clerk the price.
The clerk replied, "Sorry lady, the owner does not sell golf
equipment to blondes because of the high return rate."
"How did you know that I am a blonde," she asked.
The clerk replied, "That's a golf umbrella, not a golf club."
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 2127
Christmastime
Rudy: Sandi what are you going to get for Pops this year?
Sandi: I have a few things gathered up for him in this bag.
Katie: Let's see.
Sandi: Okay, first I have a new pillow for our bed.
A new collar for daddy with a gps finder so if he gets lost I
can find him. An Alpo flavored pizza and season three of
Lassie.
Rudy: Wow, he will be amazed. How about you Katie?
Katie: I got father a smoking jacket, satin of course.
Rudy: Pops does not smoke.
Katie: It is for lounging my good man.
Katie: I have a fine red wine from '85.
Rudy: I got him a six-pack from 7-11.
Katie: Rudy you have no couth.
Rudy: That reminds me I got him a couthbrush.
The herd
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Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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