"Sanity is the Playground for the Unimaginative"
WELCOME TO:
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
So me and the war department are sitting at the breakfast table.
I am looking at the contents of my coffee cup, taking a sip,
and I am watching her munching on her toast with peanut butter.
(For that woman, the day is not gonna start unless she has a
slice of toast and peanut butter.) Anyways, I made the following
comment:
Postman:It is critical to make good life choices.
War department: Munch munch munch
Postman: You may not be aware of it...but 115 people died in the
last decade in gym related weight lifting accidents.
War department: ....
Postman:In the same decade, not one person died eating a donut.
Mumbling through her peanut butter, she says "So what?"
Postman:This proves my point exactly. you need to make the good
choices in life. eat donuts instead of working out is a healthier
life choice!!!She gave me that look like women do. You guys all know it,
right?When a woman rolls her eye balls at you, then you know that you said
something stupid, right? Now that might seem like a bad thing to do.
but the truth is, its good...see? She is still listening to you :)
Anyways, remember, eating donuts is healthier than going to the gym.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
___________________
MEMES N TOONS
bastards
a dna kit
what came first
its easier
makes my heart beat faster
time to cut your bangs
pizza delivery
so glad
feel like I'm wasting
water is cold
drunk last night
what our office needs
I drink water
talk to God
a little concerned
the monster under my bed
___________________
JOKES
I thought
there once was a lady named Jude
get out before I get my husband
an unusual operation
on the discovery channel
at the fairgrounds
this car can never fail
watch yourself mister
the business man came home at 6pm
what's the matter
Two beggars, Seamus and Niall, were walking along the road at dusk.
Being the more amatuer of the two, Niall complained loudly "I'm famished!
How will we get something to eat this night?"
"Worry not," said Seamus, "I'll show you how it's done."
As they approached a farmhouse, he picked up a dried cowpie
from the field and went to the door.
He knocked on the door, and the missus answered.
"Yes," she said. "Forgive me missus," begged Seamus, "I am but a humble
beggar with nought to eat but this dried old cowpie.
Could I trouble you for some salt to go with it?"
"Why that's no fit meal for a man," the woman exclaimed.
"Come in here and sit down, I'll feed you proper."
A half hour later, Seamus emerged from the house stuffed with lamb
and potatoes and smiling ear to ear.
"Wow," shouted Niall, "I can do that!"
He ran to the next farmhouse, grabbing his own cowpie on the way.
He knocked on the door, and the missus answered.
"Forgive me missus," he begged, "I am but a humble beggar with
nought to eat but this dried- up old cowpie.
Could I trouble you for some salt to go with it?"
"Sakes," she cried "that's no fit meal for a man. Go on out back and get yerself a fresh one."
Two blonde gals went together to play the slot machines at the casino.
Each agreed that when her allotted money was gone, she would go to
the front of the casino and sit on the bench to wait for the other.
Connie quickly lost all her money and went to sit on the bench. She waited
and waited. After what seemed an eternity, she finally saw Lori coming toward her,
carrying this huge sack of coins. "Hey, Connie," said Lori, "how'd you do?"
"Not very good," came the reply. "I've been waiting here for hours."
Lori said, "You should have been with me...did I ever find a good machine! It's way in the back.
Come! I'll show it to you...you can't lose! Ever time you put a dollar in, you win four quarters!"
Back in the old Wild West, there were two blonde cowpokes, Jeff and Dave.
One day, the two were enjoying a strong drink in the local saloon, when a
man walked into the bar with an Indian's head under his arm.
The barman shakes his hand and says, "I hate Indians, last week they
burnt my barn to the ground, assaulted my wife and killed my children."
He then says, "If any man brings me the head of an Indian, I'll give him one
thousand dollars." The two blondes looked at each other and walked out of
the bar to go hunting for an Indian. They were walking around for a while when
suddenly they saw one; Jeff threw a rock which hit the Indian right on the head.
The Indian fell off his horse, but landed seventy feet down a ravine.
The two blondes made their way down the ravine where Dave pulled out a knife
to claim their trophy. Suddenly, Jeff said, "Dave, take a look at this."
Dave replied, "Not now, I'm busy." Jeff tugged him on the shoulder and says, "I really
think you should look at this." Dave said, "Look, you can see I'm busy. There's a thousand
dollars in my hand." But Jeff was adamant. "Please, Dave, take a look at this."
So Dave looked up and saw that standing at the top of the ravine were five thousand red Indians.
Dave just shook his head and said, "Oh my God, we're going to be millionaires!"
___________________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
US F-14 Tomcats VS Libyan Mig-23 Floggers
The Marsh Pride Encounter a Hippo | Savage Kingdom: Uprising
Best of Times
Pie Fight Clip - #Laurel & #Hardy
New Segment! What's Wrong with These Signs? Signs
Best of Food Pranks | Just For Laughs Compilation
Funny Car Commercial Parody
Jimmy Kimmel's FULL INTERVIEW with David Letterman
Army Ants Build Bridge to Invade Wasp Nest
Bird Strikes
_____________________
A LITTLE BIT OF HUMOR
how mad
don't like to think
one thing I've learned
stupid
not lazy
the fleas of a thousand camels
clean the house
what people say you cannot do
to be somebody
still waiting
look in the mirror
a great discovery
its important to know
I'm grateful
blackened chicken
__._,_.___
Posted by: martin7957@yahoo.com
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