Some days you just have to create your own sunshine
WELCOME TO:
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
HELLO POSTMAN FANS!
So. did you ever have "one of those days"??
Yesterday, me and the war department are getting
ready to go to the gym? And I managed to successfully
baptize my phone in about half a cup of coffee. Sheese.
I'm figuring man, that is the end of that. Well ok, its
not like I got an expensive 800 dollar phone. its just a
150 dollar android. But hey. I am a baby boomer and you
are probably aware, I don't spend a dime unless I hafta
(I am a poor man) I called tech support and spoke to Juan
down in "somewhere by the equator" Of course, he didn't give
much hope, but did advise me to put the phone in "rice" for
a day. Says it absorbs moisture. Well turns out...when you
do that these little Chinese guys come by to eat the rice.
And apparently, while they are there, they fix your phone.
I turned it on this am, and surprise! The thing works just
fine.!!! Anybody know how to contact the pope? Maybe I can
get it declared officially as a "miracle" ?
All I ever use the thing for mostly is playing music on Amazon
and xm radio while I am at the gym. One of these days, I will
have to make a phone call with it. Me actually needing the phone
and having someone to talk to with it? Now THAT would probably
be a miracle.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
____________________
MEMES N TOONS
reminding my kids
the same thing
Irish flu shot
send you home
fighting a virus
you can go home
what they are thinking
all currently busy
in the waiting room
the doctor will see you now
accident waiting to happen
its a goat
fridge broke
kinda sad
good to be home
A truck driver is cruising along when he spots a little yellow man
standing in the middle of the road, crying. He brings the truck to a
standstill, rolls down the window and asks the little man what's wrong.
"I'm yellow, I'm from Venus, I'm gay and I'm hungry," sobs the little man.
"Well," says the trucker, "I can offer you a sandwich, but that's as much
as I can do." So he passes a sandwich to the little man and drives off. A
while later, he has to stop again because there's a little red man in the
middle of the road, crying. So he comes to a halt, rolls down the window
and a bit more impatiently - asks the little man what the matter is.
"I'm red, I'm from Mars, I'm gay and I'm thirsty," the little man bawls.
So the trucker says, "I can offer you a can of Coke, but that's as much as I can do."
He hands a can of Coke down to the little man and drives off.
A little further on, the trucker spots a little blue man in the middle of the road.
Really annoyed now, he stops, rolls down the window and snaps,
"Yes, you silly little blue moffie, what dammed planet are you from and what do you want?"
The little man answers, "Your driver's license, please ....."
A husband, tired of his wife asking him how she looks, buys her a full length
mirror for her birthday. This does little to help, as now she just stands in front
of the mirror looking at herself and asking him how she looks.
One day, fresh out of the shower, she is yet again in front of the mirror,
now complaining that her breasts are too small. Uncharacteristically, the husband
comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day
take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."
Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper, and stands in
front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts. "How long will this take?"
she asks. "They'll grow gradually larger over a period of some years," he replies.
The wife stops. "Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my
breasts everyday will make my breasts grow?" she asks.
The husband shrugs. "Why not, it worked for your ass didn't it?"
___________________
JOKES
my teacher is giving me a rough time
top six error messages you will never see
a very unusual hospital
there was a chinese father named Cheng...
during confession
a nun was going to Chicago
2500 years ago
the difference between singular and plural
2 assasins
only women can understand
________________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Funniest Classical Orchestra Ever
Thief gets what he deserves
Central Ave. Derailment
Craziest Driving Fails
WTF Moments in Formula One
Montana from Above
10 Biggest Ships In The World
Charlie Chaplin -Pay Day Movie
A very patient mother cat with 5 crazy active kittens
Blonde Opens a Beer Bottle With Only Her Boobs
__________________
A LITTLE BIT OF HUMOR
if you need a friend
go to your room
a big smile
so strange
lobster tails
20 years from now
stupid and beautiful
teach your children
Nikes
if you can do this
a whoopee cushion
lover
so much stuff
an open window
__._,_.___
Posted by: martin7957@yahoo.com
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