Only those who will risk going too far can possibly
find out how far one can go.
T. S. Eliot
welcome to:
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
___________________
MEMES N TOONS
my back hurts
my account balance
when you're drunk
my dentist
in the carwash
rhinos
no worries
stop drinking
vodka and orange juice
a good stiff drink
none for me
unfair
take your ring off
out of my way
do it cheaper
A family had twin boys whose only resemblance to each other
was their looks. If one felt it was too hot, the other thought it
was too cold. If one said the TV was too loud, the other claimed
the volume needed to be turned up. Opposite in every way, one was
an eternal optimist, the other a doom and gloom pessimist.
Just to see what would happen, on Christmas, their father loaded
the pessimist's room with every imaginable toy and game. The
optimist's room he loaded with horse manure.
That night the father passed by the pessimist's room and found him
sitting amid his new gifts crying bitterly.
"Why are you crying?" the father asked.
"Because my friends will be jealous, I'll have to read all these instructions
before I can do anything with this stuff, I'll constantly need batteries,
and my toys will eventually get broken" answered the pessimist twin.
Passing the optimist twin's room, the father found him dancing for joy in
the pile of manure. "What are you so happy about?" he asked.
To which his optimist twin replied:
"Somewhere in here, there's got to be a pony!"
__________________
JOKES
may I help you
son of a bitch
the drunk and the eggs
I know the truth
did you shit your pants
how many people believe in ghosts
relationship rules
mice in the pizza place
do they crash often
tell the court why you want a divorce
This is from a radio program, a true report of an incident in Wisconsin:
A guy buys a brand new Lincoln Navigator truck for $42,500
and has $560 monthly payments. He and a friend go duck hunting in winter,
and of course all the lakes are frozen. These two guys go out on the lake
with their guns, a dog, and of course the new vehicle.
They drive out onto the lake ice and get ready. Now, they want to make
some kind of a natural landing area for the ducks, something for the
decoys to float on. In order to make a hole large enough to look like
something a wandering duck would fly down and land on, it's going to
take a little more effort than an ice hole drill. So, out of the back of
the new Navigator truck comes a stick of dynamite with a short 40-second
fuse. Now, these two Rocket Scientists do take into consideration that
they want to place the stick of dynamite on the ice at a location far
from where they, (and the new Navigator truck), are standing.
They don't want to take the risk of slipping on the ice when they run
from the burning fuse and possibly go up in smoke with the resulting blast.
They light the 40-second fuse and throw the dynamite.Remember a couple
of paragraphs back when I mentioned the vehicle, the guns, and the dog??
Let's talk about the dog: A highly trained Black Lab used for RETRIEVING.
(Especially retrieving things thrown by the owner.) You guessed it, the dog
takes off at a high rate of doggy speed on the ice and captures the stick of
dynamite with the burning 40-second fuse about the time it hits the ice.
The two men yell, scream, wave their arms and wonder what to do now.
The dog, cheered on, keeps coming. One of the guys grabs the shotgun and
shoots the dog. The shotgun is loaded with #8 buckshot, hardly big enough
to stop a Black Lab. The dog stops for a moment, slightly confused,
but continues on. Another shot and this time the dog, still standing, becomes
really confused and of course terrified, thinking these two geniuses have gone insane.
The dog takes off to find cover, under the brand new Navigator truck.
The men continue to yell as they run. The exhaust pipe on the truck is still hot,
so the dog yelps and drops the dynamite under the truck, and takes off after
his master. Then --BOOM-- the truck is blown to bits and sinks to the bottom of
the lake in a very large hole, leaving the two idiots standing there with this
"I can't believe this happened" look on their faces. The insurance company says
that sinking a vehicle in a lake by illegal use of explosives is not COVERED.
He still had yet to make the first of those $560.00 a month payments!!!
And you thought your day was not going well.
___________________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
10 Most Powerful Battleships of All Time
Top 15 Mysterious Things Found Underwater
Tractor Engineer (Texas Country Reporter)
Bruce Springsteen - Born in the USA official music video
Petting Sharks like Dogs?! | Blue Planet Live
5 Mysterious Fossil Discoveries Science Can't Explain
Why is the command centre of a ship called a "BRIDGE"?
12 of the World's Most Insane Engineering Marvels
Air Traffic Control: "Where in God's Name are You Going?"
CP Coal Train Breaks Apart !! Goes into Emergency (Drone)
Crazy and Random Motorsport Moments
shout out to...
_____________________
A LITTLE BIT OF HUMOR
I got you
street
stay
airplane mode
a hangover
wierd
my opinion
a recipe
hair
you've had it
Jerry Springer
a screenshot
a life alert bracelet
more important
how to make money
__._,_.___
Posted by: martin7957@yahoo.com
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