THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
The universe is not hostile, nor yet is
it friendly. It is simply indifferent.
J. H. Holmes
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
FROM: THE INVESTIGATIVE REPORTS BUREAU OF
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
Renault and Ford have joined forces to create the
perfect small car for women. Mixing the Renault
'Clio' and the Ford 'Taurus' they have designed the
'Clitaurus'. It comes in pink, and the
average male car thief won't be able to find it -
let alone turn it on - even if someone tells him where it
is and how to do it.
Rumor has it though, that it leaks transmission
fluid once a month, and can be a real bitch to
start in the morning! Some have reported that
on cold winter mornings, when you really need it,
you can't get it to turn over. New models
are initially fun to own, but very costly to maintain, and
horribly expensive to get rid of. Used models
may initially appear to have curb appeal and a
low price, but eventually have an increased
appetite for fuel, and the curb weight typically
increases with age. Manufacturers are baffled as
to how the size of the trunk increases,
but say that the paint may just make it LOOK bigger.
This model is not expected to reach collector status.
Most owners find it is best to lease one,
and replace it each year.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
______________
THE COMICS
paradise
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v051a.html
the only thing
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v052a.html
the birds and the bees
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v053a.html
12 men at once
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v054a.html
a belligerent girlie
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v055a.html
misfortune
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v056a.html
the bench
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v057a.html
Clint Eastwood says
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v058a.html
be thankful for facebook
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v059a.html
wet clothes
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v060a.html
______________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
the jogger
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2194.html
cute doggie
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2195.html
Cryal the magician
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2196.html
Dr Bean
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2197.html
hotel maid
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2198.html
COSTELLO: I want to talk about the unemployment rate in America.
ABBOTT: Good Subject. Terrible times. It's 9%.
COSTELLO: That many people are out of work?
ABBOTT: No, that's 16%.
COSTELLO: You just said 9%.
ABBOTT: 9% Unemployed.
COSTELLO: Right 9% out of work.
ABBOTT: No, that's 16%.
COSTELLO: Okay, so it's 16% unemployed.
ABBOTT: No, that's 9%...
COSTELLO: WAIT A MINUTE. Is it 9% or 16%?
ABBOTT: 9% are unemployed. 16% are out of work.
COSTELLO: IF you are out of work you are unemployed.
ABBOTT: No, you can't count the "Out of Work" as the
unemployed. You have to look for workto be unemployed.
COSTELLO: BUT THEY ARE OUT OF WORK!!!
ABBOTT: No, you miss my point.
COSTELLO: What point?
ABBOTT: Someone who doesn't look for work can't be counted
with those who look for work. It wouldn't be fair.
COSTELLO: To whom?
ABBOTT: The unemployed.
COSTELLO: But they are ALL out of work.
ABBOTT: No, the unemployed are actively looking for work.
Those who are out of work stopped looking. They gave up. And, if you
give up, you are no longer in the ranks of the unemployed.
COSTELLO: So if you're off the unemployment rolls that would count
as less unemployment?
ABBOTT: Unemployment would go down. Absolutely!
COSTELLO: The unemployment just goes down because you don't look for work?
ABBOTT: Absolutely it goes down. That's how you get to 9%.
Otherwise it would be 16%. You don't want to read about 16% unemployment, do ya?
COSTELLO: That would be frightening.
ABBOTT: Absolutely.
COSTELLO: Wait, I got a question for you. That means there are
two ways to bring down the unemployment number?
ABBOTT: Two ways is correct.
COSTELLO: Unemployment can go down if someone gets a job?
ABBOTT: Correct.
COSTELLO: And unemployment can also go down if you stop looking for a job?
ABBOTT: Bingo.
COSTELLO: So there are two ways to bring unemployment down, and the
easier of the two is to just stop looking for work.
ABBOTT: Now you're thinking like an economist.
COSTELLO: I don't even know what the hell I just said!
ABBOTT: Now you're thinking like a politician.
________________
Two widows were visiting in the lounge of the Seniors' Center.
"Well," one said, "Margaret has just cremated her third husband."
"Yeah, that's the way it goes," replied the other widow.
'Some of us can't find a husband, and others have husbands to burn!"
______________________
A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor. The doctor says,
"Okay,
Mrs. Jones, what the problem?" The mother says,"It's my daughter Darla,she
keeps getting these cravings,she is putting on weight and is sick most
mornings." The doctor gives Darla a good examination then turns to the
mother
and says,"Well,I don't know how to tell you this but your Darla is pregnant
-about 4 months would be my guess."
The mother says, "Pregnant?! She can't be,she has never ever been left alone
with a man! Have you Darla?" Darla says,"No mother! I have never even
kissed a man!"
The doctor walks over to the window and just stares out it. About five
minutes pass and finally the mother says,"Is there something wrong out there
doctor?" The doctor replies,"No, not really,it's just that the last time
anything like this happened,a star appeared in the east and three wise men
came over the hill. I'll be darned if I'm going to miss it this time!"
_________________
A man is at the dentist's for a check-up. As the dentist leans over,
he asks, "Well... So you had oral sex this morning?" "How did you
know?" asks the man, embarrassed but also amazed at his dentist's
perception. "Was it the smell on my breath?" "No" says the dentist.
"Well, did you see a pubic hair caught in my teeth?" asks the man.
"No" says the dentist. "Well, what then? How did you know?" asks the man,
losing patience. The dentist says "There's a little bit of shit on your chin."
_________________
FUN PAGES
Cubis Gold 2
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41697&s=n
God's Beer
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43025&s=n
The Good Sex Guide
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43040&s=n
Muppets on Jerry Springer
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43607&s=n
Fairy Town
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41706&s=n
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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