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THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
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FROM: THE INVESTIGATIVE REPORTS BUREAU OF
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Al Gore recently hired a campaign expert to analyze
his potential for the next election, should he decide to
run for the presidency. The analyst suggested he try to
find a different campaign slogan that would be more
acceptable to the public
Personally, I think if given a choice, I would prefer a
different candidate...
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman!
LET'S GO TO THE MOVIES!
cat and the parrot part 1
http://www.thepostm
cat and the parrot, part 2
http://www.thepostm
infrared
http://www.thepostm
poor kitty
http://www.thepostm
An American tribute to our Canadian friends
http://www.thepostm
THE COMICS
Hagar
http://www.thepostm
a dissatisfied microsoft customer
http://www.thepostm
not true
http://www.thepostm
mad cow?
http://www.thepostm
so cruel...
http://www.thepostm
confessions of a woman
http://www.thepostm
the perfect time piece
http://www.thepostm
damned if I know
http://www.thepostm
vibramatic..
http://www.thepostm
warning viewer discretion advised
http://www.thepostm
THE JOKES!
A young farm couple, Homer and Darlene, got married and just couldn't seem
to get enough lovin'. In the morning, before Homer left the house for the
fields, they made love. When Homer came back from the fields, they made
love. After supper, they made love. And again at bedtime, they made love.
The problem was it took Homer a half hour to travel home and another half
hour to return to the fields and he just wasn't getting enough work done.
Finally Homer asked the town doctor what to do."Homer," said the doctor,
"just take your rifle out to the fields with you and when you're in the
mood, fire off a shot into the air. That will be Darlene's signal to come
out to you. Then you won't lose any field time."They tried Doc's advice and
it worked well for a while until one day when Homer came back to the
doctor's office."What'
worked good," said Homer. "Whenever I was in the mood, I fired off a shot
like you said and Darlene'd come runnin'. We'd find a secluded place, make
love, and then she'd go back home again.""Good, Homer. So what's the
problem?" asked the Doc."Ah mighta trained her too good. I ain't seen
her since huntin' season started
____________
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Pal Diet again although I
probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd
lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out
of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms. I told her that it was
essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works
is to load your pants pockets with Pal nuggets and simply eat one or two every
time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to
try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I
had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the street
licking my balls and a car hit me.
I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so
hard as he staggered out the door.
Stupid B***h...why else would I buy dog food??
____________
A man in a Florida supermarket tries to buy half a head of lettuce. The
very young produce assistant tells him that they sell only whole heads
of lettuce. The man persists and asks to see the manager. The boy says
he'll ask his manager about it.
Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, "Some asshole
wants to buy half a head of lettuce." As he finished his sentence, he
turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "And this
gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other half." The manager
approved the deal, and the man went on his way.
Later the manager said to the boy, "I was impressed with the way you
got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on
their feet here. Where are you from, son?"
Canada, sir," the boy replied.
"Well, why did you leave Canada ?" the manager asked.
The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but whores and hockey players up there."
"Really?" said the manager. "My wife is from Canada."
"No shit?" replied the boy. "Who'd she play for?"
____________
One day Jack's dad bought a robot.
The robot was special in that it could detect a lie and
would slap the person who lied on the face.
Jack returned late from school that day and his dad asked him,
"Son why are you late from school?".
Jack answered, "Dad we had extra classes today".
Much to his astonishment the Robot jumped
up and slapped Jack on his face.
His dad told him, this robot is special in that he
can detect a lie and will then slap
the person who lied now come on tell me the truth, " Why are you late?"
"Dad I went for a movie",
"Which movie?"
"The Ten Commandments"
Splatt... Jack got a tight slap on the face from the robot.
"No dad honest I went for the movie Sex Queen."
"Shame on you son when I was your age I never used to do such shameful things."
Splatt, the dad gets a tight slap on the face from the robot.
Hearing all this, Jack's mother comes walking out of the
kitchen saying, "After all he is your son, he will be like you"
The robot steps up and gives a resounding slap on Jack's mothers face.
(Dont ask what the moral of the story is)
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman!
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