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THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
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GOOD AFTERNOON POSTMAN FANS!
If one or two of you would be good enough to respond to these offers from the publishers, I promised
them that I would find a couple folks who would be willing to accept them.
So, if you want a free sample of tootsie rolls or clorox bleach for colors, please feel
free to help yourself.!!!
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Only great minds can read this
This is weird, but interesting!
fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too
Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.
The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at
Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are,
the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.
The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but
the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!
( and people wonder why I don't use a speil chucker )
Are you feeling a little poope lately?
You just need a change!!! Start your day by reading
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman!
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES!
need glasses
http://www.thepostm
the helpful daughter
http://www.thepostm
carryon luggage
http://www.thepostm
the dildo song
http://www.thepostm
THE COMICS
my ex boyfriend
http://www.thepostm
about the toilet paper
http://www.thepostm
the rapist
http://www.thepostm
Mr. Whipple
http://www.thepostm
what a baby thinks
http://www.thepostm
the blind man and the slow corner
http://www.thepostm
lock jaw
http://www.thepostm
itchy is good
http://www.thepostm
Herman
http://www.thepostm
Once upon a time, a young lad was born without a belly button.
In its place was a golden screw. All the doctors told his mother
that there was nothing they could do.
Like it or not, he was stuck with it.
All the years of growing up was real tough on him,
as all who saw the screw made fun of him.
He avoided ever leaving his house and thus,
never made any friends.
One day, a mysterious stranger saw his belly
and told him of a swami in Tibet that could get rid of
the screw for him. He was thrilled. The next day
he took all of his life's savings and bought a ticket to Nepal.
After several days of climbing up steep cliffs,
he came upon a giant monastery.
The swami knew exactly why he had come.
He was told to sleep in the highest tower
of the monastery and the following day when
he awoke, the screw would have been removed.
The man immediately went to the room and fell asleep.
During the night while he slept, a purple fog floated in
an open window, bearing in its mist, a golden screwdriver.
In just moments, the screwdriver removed the screw
and disappeared out the window.
The next morning when the boy woke, he saw
the golden screw laying on the Pillow next to him.
Reaching down, he felt his navel and there was no screw there!
Jubilant, he leaped out of bed, and his butt fell off.
THE MORAL to this is:
"Don't screw around with things you don't understand;
you could lose your ass."
____________
George was chuckling at the bar when his friend Stanley joined him.
"Women, they think they're so smart,"
he said with a sly smile, going on to explain that he'd eavesdropped
on a phone conversation between his fiancee and her best friend.
"She said, 'George doesn't know it yet, but the only time
I'm having sex is when I want to get pregnant."
At this, George doubled over with laughter, and Stanley looked at his friend with some consternation,
"I'd be mad as a hatter! Why aren't you?" he asked.
"Why get mad?" answered George. "She'll never know I've had a vasectomy!"
____________
In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli,
cauliflower, spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds,
so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives
Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and
Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?"
and Man said, "Yes!"
and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles."
And they gained 10 pounds.
And Satan smiled.
And God created the healthful yogurt
that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair.
And Satan brought forth white flour
from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them.
And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.
So God said, "Try my fresh green salad."
And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons, and garlic toast on the side.
And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.
God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables,
and olive oil in which to cook them."
And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big
it needed its own platter.
And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.
God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake,"
and said, "It is good."
Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."
God then brought forth running shoes
so that His children might lose those extra pounds.
And Satan gave cable TV with
a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels.
And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.
Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and
brimming with nutrition.
And Satan peeled off the healthful skin
and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them.
And Man gained pounds.
God then gave lean beef so that Man
might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.
And Satan created McDonald's
and its 99-cent double cheeseburger.
Then said, "You want fries with that?"
And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!"
And Satan said, "It is good."
And Man went into cardiac arrest.
God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
Then Satan created HMOs.
____________
A man is showering up in a locker room with his buddy when he notices
his friend has a huge penis. "Damn Bob, you're hung!" Jim exclaims.
"I wasn't always this impressive, I had to work for it."
"What do you mean?" Jim asked. "
Well, everyday for the past two years I've spent an hour each night
rubbing it with butter. I know it sounds crazy but it actually made
it grow 4 inches! You should try it."
Jim agrees and the two say good bye. A few weeks later the two are in
the same locker room and Bob asks Jim how his situation was.
Jim replied, " I did what you said but my penis has actually gotten
smaller! I lost two inches already!"
"Did you do everything I told you?
An hour each day with butter?"
"Well, butter is expensive, so I've been using Crisco."
"Crisco?!?" Bob exclaimed, "No wonder man, Crisco's shortening!"
____________
When a physician remarked on a new patient's extraordinarily ruddy
complexion, he said, "High blood pressure, Doc. It comes from my family."
"Your mother's side or your father's?" I asked.
"Neither," he replied. "It's from my wife's family." "Oh, come now,"
I said. "How could your wife's family give you high blood pressure?"
He sighed. "You oughta meet 'em sometime, Doc!"
____________
A man is having problems with his Johnson, which certainly had seen
better times. He consults a doctor who, after a couple of tests,
says, "Sorry, but you've overdone it the last 30 years. Your dick is
burned out; you only have 30 erections left in your penis."
The man walks home (deeply depressed); his wife is already expecting
him at the front door and asks him what the doctor said concerning
his problem. He tells her what the doc told him. She says, "Oh no,
only 30 times! We shouldn't waste that. We should make a list!"
He replies, "Yes, I already made a list on the way home. Sorry, your
name isn't on it."
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman!
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