[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner!


welcome to:
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
where the world goes for its daily dose of humor!
(made in the USA)

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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Well, I'm baaaaaaaaaaacckkkk!!!
Being the anniversary as I had mentioned in earlier issues,
the war department and me went and took the weekend and just
did the "get away from it all" thing. So now that's out of the way
life gets back to normal at the home of the postman.
I have a little arrangement with the advertisers.
If I can find a hundred people to fill
out this survey, then they have agreed to underwrite
a portion of the expenses of the POSTMAN'S CORNER!
it will take you about a minute or so, and its a
great way to help out your favorite internet joke teller, me:)

We are conducting a study about the ice cream you eat.
This survey will take approximately 1 minute of your time.
If you qualify, you will receive a $50 Visa Gift Card on us.
Important: We expect an accurate answer. 
Please answer the question as honestly as possible.
QUESTION:
WHich is your favorite ice cream? Baskin Robbins or Ben and Jerry's?
http://www.tinyurl.com/hdzng

and the war department also asked me to talk to you about this...
Are you still clipping coupons the old fashioned way?
how come? she says its much easier to simply print them out on your printer


Join e-Givers.com, the Internet's top spot for Free Brand Name Coupons
and you'll be entered to win Free Groceries for a Year!
============================================
Chance to Win Free Groceries for a Year!
============================================
Why cut coupons when you can print them directly from your computer.
Click here to Sign up to save today!
http://www.tinyurl.com/z4mrw

FROM: THE INVESTIGATIVE REPORTS BUREAU OF:
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Amazon.com, the leading online bookseller, has announced the availability
of a new publication. This new book is predicted to become a number one best seller....


We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman!

LET'S GO TO THE MOVIES

the prostrate exam
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/movies172.html

lays potato chips
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/movies173.html

go away
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/movies174.html

catch phrase
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/movies175.html

Llamas
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/movies176.html



THE COMICS

how she figger that?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w081.html

a little premature
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w082.html

when things go wrong
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w083.html

going down
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w084.html

2 reasons to buy a mini van
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w085.html

ready and willing
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w086.html

what the heck?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w087.html

bubble gum and beans
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w088.html

the possesive husband
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w089.html

reflections
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w090.html



THE JOKES

Little Johnny's teacher noticed that he was sporting a black eye.
She asked him what happened, and he replied,
"Ma'am, you remember I told you how I sleep on the floor next to my parent's bed?
Well, last night, my dad asked me if I was still awake,
I said yes and then he punched me in the face."

"Ok, Johnny", the teacher said, trying to help, "
 the next time your dad asks you if you're still awake, don't answer,
just lay still and pretend to be asleep."

All went well, until a few weeks later, Little Johnny came to class with another black eye.
The teacher asked him why he didn't follow her advice.

Johnny explained, "Ma'am, I tried to, when dad asked me if I was awake,
I kept quiet and lay really still, and pretended to be asleep, but then Dad said 'I'm coming',
and Mom said 'I'm coming too', and I didn't want them to go anywhere without me, so I shouted,
'Let me just put on my slippers, I'm coming too' and that's when I got punched in the face."

______________

A fellow is getting ready to tee-off on the first hole when  
a second fellow approaches and asks if he can join him. The  
first says that he usually plays alone but agrees to let the  
second guy join him.  
Both are even after the first couple of holes. The second guy  
says, "Say, we're about evenly matched, how about we play for  
five bucks a hole?"  
The first fellow says that he usually plays alone and doesn't  
like to bet but agrees to the terms. Well, the second guy wins  
the rest of the holes and as they're walking off of the  
eighteenth hole, and while counting his $80.00, he confesses  
that he's the pro at a neighboring course and likes to pick  
on suckers.  
The first fellow reveals that he's the Parish Priest at the  
local Catholic Church to which the second fellow gets all  
flustered and apologetic and offers to give the Priest back  
his money. The Priest says, "No, no. You won fair and square  
and I was foolish to bet with you. You keep your winnings."  
The pro says, "Well, is there anything I can do to make it  
up to you?"  
The Priest says, "Well, you could come to Mass on Sunday and  
make a donation. Then, if you bring your mother and father by  
after Mass, I'll marry them for you."
______________


A college coed finished her degree at a college in a small farming town in Oregon.
Her fiancé had another semester to go to finish his degree and then they planned to marry in the spring.
So the young woman decided to get a job until her fiancé finished school,
but the only job she could find in the town was on a farm doing manual labor.

Her duties consisted of grooming the fields and ridding the crops of adjacent weeds, in other words using a hoe.
Then came the end of the semester, and her fiancé graduated,
so they decided to get on with the nuptials.
They went to the courthouse and requested a marriage license.

The county clerk asked the usual questions like name, place of birth, occupation.
The groom to be answered everything and, of course, gave his occupation as student
as that was his most recent occupation.
The bride to be answered everything until the clerk asked her occupation.

She thought about it a moment and then answered: "I'm a hoer."
The clerk looked at her to be husband and then her with a
dumbfounded look on his face and then she spoke up:
"Well, it's honest work."

_________________


When Joe, a nice man married for over 50 years died, his wife,
Myrtle was devastated.

A couple of months later, Myrtle also died. Once in heaven,
Myrtle anxiously  looked for Joe.

Suddenly, behind a cloud, she could clearly
see him with another woman.

She ran towards him, calling his name: "Joe. Darling...Joe"
Joesaid: "Hold your horses woman, and don't 'darling' me.
The deal was very clear"..."Until death do us part".

__________________

An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he calls his grandson to his bed! "
Lissin-a me. I wanna for you to taka my chromeplated
38 revolver so you will always remember me."

"But grandpa, I really doan-a lika guns.
Howzabout you leava me your Rolex watch instead?"

"Shuddup an lissin.
Somma day you gonna runna da business.

You gonna have a beautifula wife, lotsa money,
a biga home and maybe a couple a bambinos."

"Somma day you gonna comma home and maybe
find you wife inna bed with another man.
Whadda you gonna do then... pointa to you watch and say
"Times up?"


BUFFALO'S
Movies


Bad Idea
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/032906.htm

Watch Out For That Tree
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/032907.htm

Close One
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/032908.htm

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman!


 


















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