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"You don't have to be alone to feel alone
You can have someone and still feel alone"
Ain't that the truth.
I discovered Emitt Rhodes freshman year of college. I know, I know, some people were there before me, with the Merry-Go-Round, but despite seeing that work in the bins, I never bought it, the band had no traction on the east coast.
And neither did Emitt Rhodes's debut album. It was a press-driven thing, back when press still mattered, when it wasn't about being holier-than-thou, hipsters with no life reviewing records because it makes them feel important.
No, you'd subscribe to all the rock magazines, dedicated fans could not get enough, "Rolling Stone," "Crawdaddy," "Fusion"... We were hungry for information in an era where there was very little of it.
Now we've got too much of it. To the point where if you're into something, you might be the only one.
But in every burg there was an addict, checking out albums that never got airplay, and when you finally connected, you found you had commonality in these songs.
The rap on Emitt Rhodes was he was imitating the Beatles, and therefore he was dismissed. Even worse, he was on Dunhill Records, distributed by ABC, which at that time was barely considered a major.
But unlike Greta Van Fleet, Rhodes was (and still is!) an incredible writer. The changes were endearing, and the lyrics were insightful.
But after the first LP stiffed, most people moved on.
I did not, I bought the follow-up, "Mirror," even though almost no one I've ever run into did. And "Mirror" is less Beatle-like, Emitt is testing his personal limits and...
I'm picking the most Beatle-like track from "Mirror" anyway.
"Better Side Of Life" could fit perfectly on the White Album, if it was cut in '72. You can imagine Paul sitting alone with an acoustic singing from his heart.
But once the band split up, John was no longer around to tell his old partner when he was creating tripe.
Not that McCartney has not done some great work, but other than "Maybe I'm Amazed," maybe, the tracks don't feature insightful lyrics, like "Better Side Of Life."
This is the difference between the music of yesterday as opposed to today. Back then you ignored AM radio, that was pop, with a limited construct, the key was to test your limits, SAY SOMETHING!
And at first hip-hop said plenty.
But today it seems to be a way to make bank in the penumbra, i.e. sponsorships and cosmetic lines and...
As for pure pop, it's cheerleading crap, ballad b.s., if you gain wisdom from today's pop music you haven't yet hit puberty.
"Everything that ever was will never be again
We're only lonely people now wondering where we've been"
They're still together, but they've broken up, it's over.
And then the loneliness sets in. Being with someone is different. The floor is higher, the moments of despair are less frequent,.
"Rarely does it take you more than once or twice to learn
That love is so much deeper when you let the fever burn"
Commitment. It's everything. If your significant other is beating you up, hooked on drugs, break up. But if you've had that ceremony in front of your family and friends, give it a good shot, stick it out, it's amazing how you can get over the humps and have a deeper, more satisfying relationship.
"And there's a strong possibility
That we might often fail to see the better side of life"
In other words, you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone.
"Loneliness will capture you in moments of despair"
Did you see that story in the news today, how this town in the U.K. built chat benches? Yup, with plaques saying if you want to talk, sit right down.
Loneliness is the scourge of oldsters. The internet helps keep us together, despite the negativity coming from the intelligentsia, but we all crave, need, the human touch.
And it's illegal to stop by unannounced. So you need to make plans when the truth is you need comfort right now! You're lucky if you've got any close friends at all.
"The key remains inside yourself and will forever more"
It's not them, it's you. All those people who think they can find their perfect person online...I hate to tell them, there is no such thing as perfect, and until you look inside yourself you will never have a good relationship. You might have a slave, addicted to you, a yes-person, but relationships need to be two-way and honest.
So what we've got is the desperate, categorically unable to be alone, bouncing from relationship to relationship, not knowing that when the going gets rough, the clued-in hang in there and try to work it out, which never happens quickly, instead of trading their spouse in for a replacement.
That first relationship after the long term one? You think you've found a match, you're excited, this person delivers what your ex did not...and then you find when you tote it all up, your ex was better. Sure, they were flawed in this or that way, but everybody is, even if the flaws are different.
Furthermore, you break up and lose the shared experience, the references, the deep history.
So if you have someone and you still feel alone...make an effort, or cut it off. Don't stay in stasis, don't tolerate it, dig deeper, be honest, be open to criticism and insight...if you're never hurt, if you have no arguments, your relationship is time-stamped.
Not that I know everything, not that I have the answers. But everything I learned about life and love I discovered in music and movies.
But that was back when musicians strove to make music like "Better Side Of Life," which might have left Emitt Rhodes broke, but a legend.
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