Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger
welcome to:
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
HELLO POSTMAN FANS
So, been doing the Mucinex thing and it does seem
to work. Managed to break up my cough into just a nasty
cold. That is a good thing, right? Anyways, the problem
when I take time off? I sit here and wonder what the h am I
gonna do with all this time on my hands? I can still be sick and
be at the computer. no big deal. Besides, it is
a Monday so you folks need the jokes!!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_____________________
THE FUNNY PAPERS
Charlie Brown says
a little while longer
Red Bull and Vodka
England and Wisconsin
organic vegetables
kicked off the internet
regular or extra crispy
searching
mail
the handy man
a joint account
kill
its not his birthday
sorry sir
______________________
JOKES
a man is like a fine wine
did you see a lawyer first
give me twenty shots of your best scotch
puns
walk 12 miles
While in China, an American man is sexually promiscuous
and does not use a condom the entire time he is there.
A week after arriving back home in the States, he
wakes one morning to find his
penis covered with bright green and purple spots.
Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor.
The doctor, never having seen anything like this
before, orders some tests
and tells the man to return in two days for the results.
The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says,
"I've got bad news for you, you've contracted Mongolian
VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here in the US ,
we know very little about it." The man looks a little
perplexed and says, "Well, give me a shot or
something and fix me up, Doc." The doctor answers,
"I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have
to amputate your penis. The man screams in horror,
"Absolutely not! I want a second opinion!!!
The doctor replies, "Well, it's your choice.
Go ahead, if you want, but
surgery is your only option." The next day,
the man seeks out a Chinese doctor,
figuring that he'll know more about the disease.
The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims,
"Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Vewy ware disease.
The guy says to the doctor, "Yeah, yeah, I
already know that, but what can we do?
My American doctor wants to cut off my penis!"
?The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs.
"Stupid American docttah, always want opawate.
Make more money dat way. No need amputate!"
"Oh, thank God!" the man exclaims.
"Yes," says the Chinese doctor.
"Wait two week. Fall off by itself!"
Two cowboys are out on the range talking about their favorite
sex positions: One says, "I think I enjoy the rodeo position
the best." "I don't think I have ever heard of that one",
says the other cowboy, "what is it?" "Well, it's where you
get your girlfriend down on all fours, and you mount her
from behind, and you reach around and cup each one of
her breasts in your hands, and then you whisper in her ear,
"Boy, these feel just like your sister's"
and then you try to hold on for 8 seconds."
An elderly couple was sitting on the out porch when the husband
turned to his wife and, "Muffin, I feel like making love tonight"
The wife replied, "Ok Ernest, I will let you, but be gentle this time."
"But I am always gentle with you, dearest!"
"That's not true, she replied,
"the last time you woke me up TWICE!"
David and Simon are sitting in the cafeteria discussing their weekend.
"Man this weekend was the best!" David says. "I finally scored."
Simon says, "Yeah, well I scored and it was the
worst experience I've ever had." "How so?"
replies David. Simon relates,
"That girl Cecilia brought me back
to her room and said she would do anything I want.
So I asked her to go down on me, and she said no problem.
In the middle of the whole thing,
she starts turning green, coughing like crazy and passes out."
"Damn!" Simon says. "What happened?"
David responds, "Turns out she's allergic to nuts."
"Adam," the heavenly voice called to the Garden of Eden,
"what did you and Eve do today?"
"We ate some fruit, Lord," Adam said reverently.
"Did you eat of the forbidden tree?" asked God.
"Yes, Lord, we did," Adam confessed.
"And then what did you do?" God asked.
"We made mad, passionate love all afternoon."
"Where is Eve now?" the Lord bellowed.
"She's down at the brook washing herself out."
"Oh, no," the Lord moaned." Now all my fish
are going to smell like PUSSY!"
____________________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Best of the Week | Ice Breakers
When your girl makes you watch a chick flick.
911 tape 'Shoot him again!'
Worker gets shot like a cannon after a explosion
SNL's parody of the Michael Cohen testimony
compared with his actual testimony
Dog Works At the Informational Kiosk
Mysterious Sea 'Worm' Spotted Near New Zealand
29412 Years Before Dual Flush Toilets
mcdonalds worker gets sweet revenge on customers
after they play juvenile drive thru prank
Police remove nuisance neighbor
_______________________
A LITTLE BIT OF HUMOR
levis
3 people
husband and wife
normal
have a good day
throwing caution to the wind
when you stick it in your mouth
roosters
a ray of sunshine
when you see your ex
imagine
hiring black actors
admitting the problem
eating salad
_________________________
AND FINALLY
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Posted by: martin7957@yahoo.com
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