welcome to:
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Hello postman fans!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
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THE FUNNY PAPERS
physical education class in Mexico schools
300 emails
Grand pa
have a baby
all I said
she wanted five minutes alone
trying not to fart
my husband
can't sleep
hate when this happens
a good book
pregnant by accident
a congressman
hunting season
my wife used to punch me
____________________
JOKES
I'm so old that...
area 51
A little girl was observed by her pastor standing outside
on the sixth day
A very old man lay dying in his bed
Did you hear about the stressed out Priest who went to
the Doctor in a panic and
asked him, "What does it mean
Doc, when I go pee it burns like the Fire of Satan
and I have this God awful drip?"
?The Doc smiled and said, "It means the Alter boy lied.
He wasn't a Virgin."
A young woman, feeling morning dizziness and strange
cravings, goes to see a gynecologist.
After a thorough examination, the Doctor tells her:
"Well, my dear, I am puzzled; the test shows that you are pregnant,
but when I examined you, I found that you are still a virgin. I mean,
your hymen is not ruptured,except for seven tiny holes, a little more that pinpricks, actually....
by the way, what did you say your name was?"
"My name is Snow White", replies the girl.
"Adam," the heavenly voice called to the Garden of Eden,
"what did you and Eve do today?"
"We ate some fruit, Lord," Adam said reverently.
"Did you eat of the forbidden tree?" asked God.
"Yes, Lord, we did," Adam confessed.
"And then what did you do?" God asked.
"We made mad, passionate love all afternoon."
"Where is Eve now?" the Lord bellowed.
"She's down at the brook washing herself out."
"Oh, no," the Lord moaned."
Now all my fish are going to smell like PUSSY!"
One afternoon, two doctors from India were having an animated discussion.
"I say it's spelled 'W-H-O-O-M'," said the first Indian doctor.
"No, it is 'W-H-O-M-B'," said the other Indian doctor.
An American nurse passing by said, "Excuse me, you are both wrong.
It is spelled 'W-O-M-B'."
"Thank you nurse," said one of the doctors,
"but we prefer to settle this argument ourselves.
Besides, we don't think you are in a position to describe the sound of an elephant passing wind under water."
A certain lawyer was quite wealthy and had a summer house in the country,
to which he retreated for several weeks of the year.
Each summer, the lawyer would invite a different
friend of his (no, that's not the
punch line) to spend a week or two
up at this place, which happened to be in a backwoods section of Maine.
On one particular occasion, he invited a Czechoslovakian friend to stay with him.
The friend, eager to get a freebee off a lawyer, agreed.
?Well, they had a splendid time in the country -
rising early and living in the great outdoors.
Early one morning, the lawyer and his
Czechoslovakian companion went out to
pick berries for their morning breakfast.
As they went around the berry patch, gathering blueberries and raspberries
in tremendous quantities, along came two huge bears - a male and a female.
The lawyer, seeing the two bears, immediately dashed for cover.
His friend, though, wasn't so lucky,
and the male bear reached him and swallowed him whole.
The lawyer ran back to his Mercedes, tore into town as fast has he could,
and got the local backwoods sheriff.
The sheriff grabbed his shotgun and dashed back
to the berry patch with the lawyer.
Sure enough, the two bears were still there.
"He's in THAT one!" cried the lawyer, pointing to the
male, while visions o
f lawsuits from his friend's family
danced in his head. He just had to save his friend.
The sheriff looked at the bears, and without
batting an eye, leveled his gun,
took careful aim, and SHOT THE FEMALE.
"What'd ya do THAT for!" exclaimed the lawyer, "I said
he was in the other!"
"Exactly," replied the sheriff,
"and would YOU believe a lawyer who told you
that the Czech was in the Male?"
___________________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
See Inside Jay Leno's Stunning $13 5 Million Newport Mansion
Top 10 Revealing Moments in Women's Long/Triple Jump
17 Most Unreal Rock Formations
America's Dumbest Criminals
My 600-lb Life Patients Who Completely Transformed Themselves
This is why GERMAN SHEPHERDS are the FUNNIEST DOGS
Man Tries To Abduct A 10-Year-Old Gir
Hawks Throw Snakes From The Cliff To The Ground To Protect Her Baby
The cat that thinks he's a chicken
Balloon with camera goes to space. amazing
Raquel Welch's in a bikini
Woman Attacks Filmer after Driving Wrong Way down UK Car Park
Rude Lawyer Insults Stewardess On Plane
4 foot tall Hornets Nest attack
Dust devil sends paraglider flying
__________________
A LITTLE BIT OF HUMOR
a man says to wife
do not touch
after the fourth
feeling sick
crunches
at the edge of a cliff
a crying baby
Christmas is over
arguing with a woman
was it worth it
a real man
this is all
this is all
a Southern home security system
in five years
__._,_.___
Posted by: martin7957@yahoo.com
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