We think we know Abraham Lincoln pretty well. The 16th president of the United States stands as one of the greatest leaders of all time -- one who guided us through the U.S. Civil War with wisdom and patience, while riddled with self-doubt.
He is on the penny and the five dollar bill. The Lincoln Memorial stands in a prominent place in Washington, DC. John Wilkes Booth made him a martyr; the Gettysburg address made his words immortal.
But after having served a single term in Congress, Lincoln returned to Illinois and considered himself a failure. He had hoped that his service to the cause would have resulted in a presidential appointment in an important office, but was disappointed when it didn't happen.
During the next five years, he withdrew from public life and lost interest in politics.
But far from being an unproductive time, Lincoln threw himself into his legal practice and more importantly, into a prolonged period of intense "personal, intellectual, moral, and professional growth," as recounted by Doris Kearns Goodwin in Leadership in Turbulent Times. How did he do it?
Through tireless and honest self-examination. He knew that if he wanted to make an impact on the world, this effort had to be relentless and sustained: he needed "a willingness to confront weakness and imperfection, reflect upon failure, and examine the kind of leader he wanted to be."
The Abraham Lincoln we think we know is held to ideals of great wisdom, insight, and success. But becoming that Lincoln required a great deal of work.
The ancient Chinese philosopher Confucius said:
"Learning without reflection is a waste. Reflection without learning is dangerous."
And he was right. What we contemplate helps us to determine a path forward. We all make mistakes -- in personal relationships, with co-workers, on projects -- it's part of being human. But if we fail to learn from those mistakes, we'll find ourselves making them over and over.
You've probably come across senior leaders who think they know everything, or those who belittle others, or who are inexperienced. But those aren't the most difficult clients to coach. It's the ones who won't take the time to reflect on themselves who are problematic.
Emotional intelligence consists partly of self-awareness, and you can't have self-awareness without self-reflection.
An an article in the Harvard Business Review, Jennifer Porter wrote:
"Reflection gives the brain an opportunity to pause amidst the chaos, untangle and sort through observations and experiences, consider multiple possible interpretations, and create meaning. This meaning becomes learning, which can then inform future mindsets and actions."
Abraham Lincoln's habit of self-reflection, taken up in 1849 following his defeat for a second term in Congress, formed the basis of what he needed during the Civil War.
For without the intense self-discipline to scrutinize himself, he would not have developed the habit that allowed him to block out the chaos of the early 1860s and take the counsel of his team of rivals that fueled his decision making during the war.
Even when we've failed—especially when we've failed—we need to be brutally honest with ourselves. For only then can we forge a path forward that shows us the gaps we need to fill and the strengths we need to play to.
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Resolutions are hard. It's probably why we only make them once a year.
January is the natural time to do that, as we look to turn the page and make a change. But doing so requires a degree of self-awareness and an understanding of what we can realistically commit to.
Whether we're planning new campaigns, a daily routine, or a way to engage with our direct reports, building in new habits requires a set of gradual, rather than drastic, changes.
And waiting for the payoff requires patience.
Which can be difficult when Wall Street wants quarterly results and your boss wants this month's numbers.
"First we make our habits, then our habits make us." – Charles C. Noble
Changing behavior takes time. But it's the first step toward making broader changes that are essential for personal and business growth.
It's what will make teams think about each other differently and commit to working together in different and better ways.
It's what will pave the path for considering customer-centric approaches to experience design.
It's what will lead toward improved technology purchases.
But committing to that enterprise technology system out of the gate? That's a mistake. Because you haven't built the muscle memory through force of habit yet.
After all, Rome wasn't built in a day.
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The last day of the year seems the perfect time to share this classic poem by Alfred Lord Tennyson. Written in 1850, "Ring Out, Wild Bells" is part of In Memoriam.
It looks backward and forward, and represents the kind of reflection that we naturally gravitate toward at the close of the calendar year.
No matter what 2018 has brought you, it's a chance to wipe the slate clean and begin anew in the year ahead.
In Memoriam [Ring Out, Wild Bells]Ring out, wild bells, to the wild sky,
The flying cloud, the frosty light:
The year is dying in the night;
Ring out, wild bells, and let him die.
Ring out the old, ring in the new,
Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
The year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, ring in the true.
Ring out the grief that saps the mind
For those that here we see no more;
Ring out the feud of rich and poor,
Ring in redress to all mankind.
Ring out a slowly dying cause,
And ancient forms of party strife;
Ring in the nobler modes of life,
With sweeter manners, purer laws.
Ring out the want, the care, the sin,
The faithless coldness of the times;
Ring out, ring out my mournful rhymes
But ring the fuller minstrel in.
Ring out false pride in place and blood,
The civic slander and the spite;
Ring in the love of truth and right,
Ring in the common love of good.
Ring out old shapes of foul disease;
Ring out the narrowing lust of gold;
Ring out the thousand wars of old,
Ring in the thousand years of peace.
Ring in the valiant man and free,
The larger heart, the kindlier hand;
Ring out the darkness of the land,
Ring in the Christ that is to be.
Wishing you all the best for a happy and prosperous 2019.
Image credit: Waltham Abbey, Essex by Peter De Wint, c.1840 (The Met, public domain)
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