THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
where the world goes for its daily dose of humor!
Some people learn by reading...
some people learn by watching...
and some people learn by doing...
But.....some people just have to pee on
the electric fence to see for themselves.....
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Menard's is having an end of winter sale.
Snow plows 35 percent off.
Went and bought myself one.
it was a good deal.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
__________
THE COMICS
computer not working
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a011.html
out of wind
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a012.html
beware of dog
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a013.html
girl scout cookies
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a014.html
erase the pain
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a015.html
hey sexy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a016.html
vd clinic
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a017.html
a parrot
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a018.html
reregistered
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a019.html
what is this
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a020.html
____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
An elephant ate my cell phone!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2919.html
Old Swingers Pete & Beulah Mae
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2920.html
Andy Kaufman's First Appearance on The Tonight Show
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2921.html
The drugs I need
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2922.html
A lady goes into the butcher shop and as she is walking
around the store, she spies a beef tongue in the butcher's
counter. The lady asks, "What in the world is that?"
"Beef tongue," replies the butcher!
The lady gives a little involuntary shudder, "No way would I
put anything in my mouth that came out of an animal's mouth!"
The butcher nods sympathetically while peeking into the
woman's shopping cart, "I see you're buying a dozen eggs!"
____________
A toothpaste factory had a problem.
They sometimes shipped empty boxes without the tube inside.
This challenged their perceived quality with the buyers and distributors.
Understanding how important the relationship with them was,
the CEO of the company assembled his top people.
They decided to hire an external engineering company
to solve their empty boxes problem.
The project followed the usual process: budget and project
sponsor allocated, RFP, and third-parties selected.
Six months (and $8 million) later they had a fantastic
solution - on time, on budget, and high quality.
Everyone in the project was pleased.
They solved the problem by using a high-tech precision
scale that would sound a bell and flash lights whenever a
toothpaste box weighed less than it should.
The line would stop, someone would walk over, remove the
defective box, and then press another button to re-start the line.
As a result of the new package monitoring process, no empty
boxes were being shipped out of the factory.
With no more customer complaints, the CEO felt the $8 million was well spent.
He then reviewed the line statistics report and discovered
the number of empty boxes picked up by the scale in the first
week was consistent with projections, however, the next three weeks were zero!
The estimated rate should have been at least a dozen boxes a day.
He had the engineers check the equipment, they verified the report as accurate.
Puzzled, the CEO traveled down to the factory, viewed the part
of the line where the precision scale was installed, and observed,
just ahead of the new $8 million dollar solution, sat a $20 desk
fan blowing the empty boxes off the belt and into a bin.
He asked the line supervisor what that was about.
"Oh, that," the supervisor replied, "Bert, the kid from maintenance,
put it there because he was tired of walking over every time the bell rang."
________________________
A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife
stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:
"Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife
merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please
allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen."
God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish. The next morning,
sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose, cooked breakfast for
his mate, awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them
breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and
picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the
bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping, then drove home to put
away the groceries, paid the bills and balanced the check book.
He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog.
Then it was already 1 P.M. and he hurried to make the beds, do the
laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor. Ran to
the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on
the way home. Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to
do their homework, then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.
At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad,
breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper. After supper,
he cleaned the kitchen,ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids,
and put them to bed. At 9 P.M. he was exhausted and, though his daily c
hores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love
which he managed to get through without complaint.
The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said,
"Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's
being able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back."
The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied, "My son, I feel you have
learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way
they were. You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night."
_____________
A Baptist pastor was presenting a children's sermon. During the
sermon, he asked the children if they knew what the resurrection was.
Now, asking questions during children's sermons is crucial, but at the
same time, asking children questions in front of a congregation can
also be very dangerous.
Having asked the children if they knew the meaning of the
resurrection, a little boy raised his hand. The pastor called on him
and the little boy said, "I know that if you have a resurrection that
lasts more than four hours you are supposed to call the doctor."
It took over ten minutes for the congregation to settle down enough for
the service to continue.
___________
THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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