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THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
where the world goes for its daily dose of humor!
(made in the USA)
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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Be heard, express your opinion and WIN!
Turn your opinion into a $400 Shopping Spree!
======================
What's Your Opinion?
======================
Do you think illegal immigrants take jobs away from Americans who need them?
http://www.tinyurl.com/38b7xt
Cancun, Vegas, or Napa Valley - Claim up to 4 Nights Free!
Be a part of Summer Bay Resorts most exciting promotion ever
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Limited Time promotion - No Purchases Required!
http://www.tinyurl.com/34vvlc
One hundred and fifty years ago,President Lincoln
found it necessary to hire a private investigator,
Alan Pinkerton,for protection.That was the beginning
of the Secret Service.Since that time,the federal
government has produced a large number of multi-letter
agencies such as: FBI, CIA, INS, IRS,DEA, BATF, etc.
Now we have the "Federal Air Transportation Airport
Security Service."
Can't you just see them now, these 'highly trained' men
and women in their black outfits with jackets saying
across the backs: F.A.T.A.S.S.
The FATASSes are of course supervised by a special
section of the Homeland Security Section known as:
Airport Security Service Home Office Logistics
Enhancement Section or the A.S.S.H.O.L.E.S.
I feel safer already, don't you?
FROM: THE INVESTIGATIVE REPORTS BUREAU OF
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Military analysts issued security warnings today which raised the
terrorist alert level to amber. Special intelligence reports
suggest that Al quaida may be preparing for an attack with
poisonous chemicals...
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman!
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES!
superglue
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/movies187.html
fakin it
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/movies186.html
who let the dogs out
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/movies184.html
anxiety
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/movies185.html
some people have too much time on their hands
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/movies183.html
THE COMICS
coming up for air
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x011.html
the real reason for beer bellies
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x012.html
pizza!!!!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x013.html
Chippy the squirrel
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x014.html
my wife
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x015.html
yard sale
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x016.html
your lucky day
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x017.html
t shirts
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x018.html
the internet is useless
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x019.html
just married
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x020.html
THE JOKES
The woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for
several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.
One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she
sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You
have been with me all through the bad times.
"When I got fired, you were there to support me."
"When my business failed, you were there."
"When I got shot, you were by my side."
"When we lost the house, you stayed right here."
When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?"
"What dear?" She gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
"I think you're bad luck."
_____________________
Troy had finally made it to his doctor's office for a long overdue appointment.
"Well, Troy," the scowling doctor said, "I see you're well over a month
late for your appointment.
Don't you realize that nervous disorders require prompt and regular
attention. What's your excuse?"
"I was simply following your orders, Doc," Troy replied.
"Following my orders?" the confused doctor said. "What are you going on
about? I gave you no such order."
"You told me to avoid people who irritate me," explained Troy.
_________________
Moses Gets a Computer
"Excuse me, Sir."
"Is that you again, Moses?"
"I'm afraid it is, Sir."
"What is it this time, Moses. More computer problems?"
"How did you guess?"
"I don't have to guess, Moses. Remember?"
"Oh, yeah. I forgot."
"Tell me what you want, Moses."
"But you already know. Remember?"
"Moses!"
"Sorry, Sir."
"Well, go ahead, Moses. Spit it out."
"Well, I have a question, Sir. You know those 'ten things' you sent me?"
"You mean the Commandments, Moses?"
"That's it. I was wondering if they were important."
"What do you mean 'were important,' Moses? Of course, they're
important. Otherwise I wouldn't have sent them to you."
"Well, sorry, but I lost them. I could say the dog ate them, but of
course you would see right through that."
"What do you mean 'you lost them'? Are you trying to tell me you
didn't save them, Moses?"
"No, Sir. I forgot."
"You should always save, Moses."
"Yeah, I know. You told me that before. I was going to, but I forgot.
I did send them to some people before I lost them though."
"And did you hear back from any of them?"
"You already know I did. What about the one guy who said he never uses
shalt not'? Can he change the words a little bit?"
"Yes, Moses. As long as he doesn't change the meaning."
"And what about the guy who thought your stance was a little harsh,
and recommended calling them the 'Ten Suggestions,' or letting people
pick one or two to try for a while?"
"Moses, I'll act like I didn't hear that."
"I think that means 'no.' Well, what about the guy who said I was scamming him?"
"I think the term is 'spamming,' Moses."
"Oh, yeah. I E-mailed him back and told him I don't even eat that
stuff, and I have no idea how you can send it to someone through a computer."
"And what did he say?"
"You know what he said. He used Your name in vain. You don't think he
might have sent me one of those -- er -- plagues, and that's the reason I
lost those ten things, do you?"
"They're called 'viruses,' Moses."
"Whatever! This computer stuff is just too much for me. Can we just go
back to those stone tablets? It was hard on my back taking them out and
reading them each day, but at least I never lost them."
"We'll do it the new way, Moses."
"I was afraid you would say that, Sir."
"Moses, what did I tell you to do if you messed up?"
"You told me to hold up this rat and stretch it out toward the computer."
"It's a mouse, Moses. Mouse! Mouse! And did you do that?"
"No, I decided to try the technical support first. After all, who
knows more about this stuff than you, and I really like your hours. By
the way, Sir, did Noah have two of these mice on the ark?"
"No, Moses."
"One other thing. Why didn't you name them 'frogs' instead of 'mice,'
because didn't you tell me the thing they sit on is a pad?"
"I didn't name them, Moses. Man did, and you can call yours a frog if
you want to."
"Oh, that explains it. Kind of like Adam, huh, sir? I bet some woman
told him to call it a mouse. After all, wasn't it a woman who named one
of the computers Apple?"
"Say good night, Moses."
"Wait a minute, sir. I am stretching out the mouse, and it seems to be
working. Yes, a couple of the 'ten things' have come back."
"Which ones are they, Moses?"
"Let's see. .'Thou shalt not steal from any grave and image'
and...................................
Thou shalt not uncover thy neighbor's wife.'"
"Turn the computer off, Moses. I'm sending you another set of stone tablets.
_______________
Two children ordered their mother to stay in bed one Mother's Day
morning. As she lay there looking forward to being brought breakfast in
bed, the smell of bacon floated up from the kitchen.
Finally, the children called her to come downstairs. She found them both
sitting at the table eating bacon and eggs.
"As a surprise for Mother's Day," one explained, "we decided to cook our
own breakfast."
___________________
Q: What's the difference between a '00's woman and a '90's computer?
A: '00's woman won't accept a three and a half inch floppy.
Q: Why do mountain climbers rope themselves together?
A: To prevent the sensible ones from going home.
Q: When do you know a man is desperate?
A: When he practices yoga just so he can give himself head.
BUFFALO'S
Movies
gagvid0048
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/121106.htm
gagvid0079
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/121107.htm
German Ad for Cat Food
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/121108.htm
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman!
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
where the world goes for its daily dose of humor!
(made in the USA)
THIS EZINE IS FREE TO ALL WHO ASK FOR IT
adult humor. wanna subscribe? send a blank email to:
PostmansCorner-
Disclaimer.:
Don't like what you read?
keep yer comments to yerself,
I don't give a rip:)
wanna unsubscribe? don't bug the list owner, he'll just send you a nasty email.
just hit reply to this email and...cya!!!
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Be heard, express your opinion and WIN!
Turn your opinion into a $400 Shopping Spree!
============
What's Your Opinion?
============
Do you think illegal immigrants take jobs away from Americans who need them?
http://www.tinyurl.
Cancun, Vegas, or Napa Valley - Claim up to 4 Nights Free!
Be a part of Summer Bay Resorts most exciting promotion ever
and click now to reserve your free luxury resort stay.
Limited Time promotion - No Purchases Required!
http://www.tinyurl.
One hundred and fifty years ago,President Lincoln
found it necessary to hire a private investigator,
Alan Pinkerton,for protection.That was the beginning
of the Secret Service.Since that time,the federal
government has produced a large number of multi-letter
agencies such as: FBI, CIA, INS, IRS,DEA, BATF, etc.
Now we have the "Federal Air Transportation Airport
Security Service."
Can't you just see them now, these 'highly trained' men
and women in their black outfits with jackets saying
across the backs: F.A.T.A.S.S.
The FATASSes are of course supervised by a special
section of the Homeland Security Section known as:
Airport Security Service Home Office Logistics
Enhancement Section or the A.S.S.H.O.L.
I feel safer already, don't you?
FROM: THE INVESTIGATIVE REPORTS BUREAU OF
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Military analysts issued security warnings today which raised the
terrorist alert level to amber. Special intelligence reports
suggest that Al quaida may be preparing for an attack with
poisonous chemicals...
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman!
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES!
superglue
http://www.thepostm
fakin it
http://www.thepostm
who let the dogs out
http://www.thepostm
anxiety
http://www.thepostm
some people have too much time on their hands
http://www.thepostm
THE COMICS
coming up for air
http://www.thepostm
the real reason for beer bellies
http://www.thepostm
pizza!!!!
http://www.thepostm
Chippy the squirrel
http://www.thepostm
my wife
http://www.thepostm
yard sale
http://www.thepostm
your lucky day
http://www.thepostm
t shirts
http://www.thepostm
the internet is useless
http://www.thepostm
just married
http://www.thepostm
THE JOKES
The woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for
several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.
One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she
sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You
have been with me all through the bad times.
"When I got fired, you were there to support me."
"When my business failed, you were there."
"When I got shot, you were by my side."
"When we lost the house, you stayed right here."
When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?"
"What dear?" She gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
"I think you're bad luck."
____________
Troy had finally made it to his doctor's office for a long overdue appointment.
"Well, Troy," the scowling doctor said, "I see you're well over a month
late for your appointment.
Don't you realize that nervous disorders require prompt and regular
attention. What's your excuse?"
"I was simply following your orders, Doc," Troy replied.
"Following my orders?" the confused doctor said. "What are you going on
about? I gave you no such order."
"You told me to avoid people who irritate me," explained Troy.
____________
Moses Gets a Computer
"Excuse me, Sir."
"Is that you again, Moses?"
"I'm afraid it is, Sir."
"What is it this time, Moses. More computer problems?"
"How did you guess?"
"I don't have to guess, Moses. Remember?"
"Oh, yeah. I forgot."
"Tell me what you want, Moses."
"But you already know. Remember?"
"Moses!"
"Sorry, Sir."
"Well, go ahead, Moses. Spit it out."
"Well, I have a question, Sir. You know those 'ten things' you sent me?"
"You mean the Commandments, Moses?"
"That's it. I was wondering if they were important."
"What do you mean 'were important,' Moses? Of course, they're
important. Otherwise I wouldn't have sent them to you."
"Well, sorry, but I lost them. I could say the dog ate them, but of
course you would see right through that."
"What do you mean 'you lost them'? Are you trying to tell me you
didn't save them, Moses?"
"No, Sir. I forgot."
"You should always save, Moses."
"Yeah, I know. You told me that before. I was going to, but I forgot.
I did send them to some people before I lost them though."
"And did you hear back from any of them?"
"You already know I did. What about the one guy who said he never uses
shalt not'? Can he change the words a little bit?"
"Yes, Moses. As long as he doesn't change the meaning."
"And what about the guy who thought your stance was a little harsh,
and recommended calling them the 'Ten Suggestions,
pick one or two to try for a while?"
"Moses, I'll act like I didn't hear that."
"I think that means 'no.' Well, what about the guy who said I was scamming him?"
"I think the term is 'spamming,' Moses."
"Oh, yeah. I E-mailed him back and told him I don't even eat that
stuff, and I have no idea how you can send it to someone through a computer."
"And what did he say?"
"You know what he said. He used Your name in vain. You don't think he
might have sent me one of those -- er -- plagues, and that's the reason I
lost those ten things, do you?"
"They're called 'viruses,' Moses."
"Whatever! This computer stuff is just too much for me. Can we just go
back to those stone tablets? It was hard on my back taking them out and
reading them each day, but at least I never lost them."
"We'll do it the new way, Moses."
"I was afraid you would say that, Sir."
"Moses, what did I tell you to do if you messed up?"
"You told me to hold up this rat and stretch it out toward the computer."
"It's a mouse, Moses. Mouse! Mouse! And did you do that?"
"No, I decided to try the technical support first. After all, who
knows more about this stuff than you, and I really like your hours. By
the way, Sir, did Noah have two of these mice on the ark?"
"No, Moses."
"One other thing. Why didn't you name them 'frogs' instead of 'mice,'
because didn't you tell me the thing they sit on is a pad?"
"I didn't name them, Moses. Man did, and you can call yours a frog if
you want to."
"Oh, that explains it. Kind of like Adam, huh, sir? I bet some woman
told him to call it a mouse. After all, wasn't it a woman who named one
of the computers Apple?"
"Say good night, Moses."
"Wait a minute, sir. I am stretching out the mouse, and it seems to be
working. Yes, a couple of the 'ten things' have come back."
"Which ones are they, Moses?"
"Let's see. .'Thou shalt not steal from any grave and image'
and.........
Thou shalt not uncover thy neighbor's wife.'"
"Turn the computer off, Moses. I'm sending you another set of stone tablets.
____________
Two children ordered their mother to stay in bed one Mother's Day
morning. As she lay there looking forward to being brought breakfast in
bed, the smell of bacon floated up from the kitchen.
Finally, the children called her to come downstairs. She found them both
sitting at the table eating bacon and eggs.
"As a surprise for Mother's Day," one explained, "we decided to cook our
own breakfast."
____________
Q: What's the difference between a '00's woman and a '90's computer?
A: '00's woman won't accept a three and a half inch floppy.
Q: Why do mountain climbers rope themselves together?
A: To prevent the sensible ones from going home.
Q: When do you know a man is desperate?
A: When he practices yoga just so he can give himself head.
BUFFALO'S
Movies
gagvid0048
http://www.buffalos
gagvid0079
http://www.buffalos
German Ad for Cat Food
http://www.buffalos
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman!
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