Everyday labor

Surprise me View in browser August 31, 2018 Detail from a poster by Carolyn Pennypacker Riggs. (HBD, CPR!!)    This week On Call Your Girlfriend, we're talking about white fragility. That's a term coined by academic Robin DiAngelo to describe the defensiveness, anger, guilt, and shame that white people often exhibit when confronted with a challenging conversation about race. We discuss the impact on people of color with the activist and educator Rachel Cargle, and then unpack it further with DiAngelo. During these conversations, I thought a lot about this tweet from Crystal Marie Fleming. She wrote, "Anti-racists look for opportunities to be held accountable. They don't look for opportunities to position themselves as immune to racism. Real anti-racists know we are all implicated in disrupting the racial status quo and are personally responsible for this *ongoing* work." That's what this episode is about for me: Trying to gain a greater ability to be held accountable. It's fitting that this episode drops on Labor Day weekend in America. Because, for white people, this is about doing the work. I'm reading A food historian travels to Ghana for a taste of the home he's never known. (And on that note, you've read Homegoing, right?) What does it mean to "sound black"? Women of color are on more magazine covers: Does it represent real change? What it's like to be black and work in fashion. The uphill battle for accountability in police shootings in Los Angeles. How under-funded public transportation contributes to racial inequality. David Foster Wallace's campaign-trail classic from the bus with John McCain in 2000. A woman who was fired after coming out as transgender has taken her case to the courts. How the forest service is silencing women. "Hey guys," let's reconsider. What does it mean that Louis C.K.’s ovation began before he even started his set? Women describe what it was like in the audience. It's really not a good look when feminist academics defend their own against harassment allegations. How tourists are destroying the places they love—and this includes "outdoor influencers" in nature. The water crises are here. Pregnant Venezuelan people are crossing borders to give birth. Smugglers are making millions of dollars by extorting migrants. What's next for America's teacher-walkout movement? Can Beto O'Rourke swing Texas? Sitting with grandma's couch. A deep dive in the Ranch dressing bottle. Pro tip: Don't think too much about your life after dinnertime. (My mom's version of this: "Everything's better in the morning.") Members only Become a paying member for just $5/year. What are you missing? Usually, it's a pie chart (click here to see what they're like), but today it's a timeline as a flat circle. Because I like to switch it up occasionally. I'm looking & listening I've been in writing mode this week, which means I've been listening to a lot of Duke Ellington, Cocteau Twins, Mary Lattimore, classical strings, Juana Molina, and older Kamasi Washington albums. I can't write (or edit) to anything with (discernible) English lyrics. I'd love your calm-but-not-depressing instrumental music recs. GIFspiration by Paradise Lili Khanmalek, who has many gorgeous prints for sale. I endorse Recognizing the invisible labor of incarcerated workers. Did you know there's a prison strike going on right now? For the past 10 days, incarcerated people in at least 11 states in the U.S. have joined work stoppages, hunger strikes and commissary boycotts to protest their paltry wages. (As low as $0.23 per hour in some states to make things like military jackets, canoes, lingerie, and park benches.) Read about how this connects to America's history of slavery, listen to an interview with a lawyer close to the strike, and TAKE ACTION in solidarity—because prison strikes are more effective when those of us outside are paying attention and supporting them. Asking for a friend A few weeks ago, a newsletter reader named Lauren wrote and asked...   I'm searching for articles or books about marriage (preferably written by a woman or woke person). I'm getting married in September and would love to hear some thoughts about marriage (non-religious) - as in what is this weird performance we are doing?! I made an email address to send recommendations to: marriageisnotahouse@gmail.com (The email address is a reference to the Margaret Atwood poem Habitation.) -Lauren Any advice or recommendations for her? Don't reply to this newsletter! Send them directly to Lauren at marriageisnotahouse@gmail.com.  IRL Sept 1, Los Angeles: In conversation with Thomas Page McBee about his new book, Amateur, at Skylight Books. If you're at all interested in exploring questions of masculinity and identity, this is the book (and the event!) for you. I'm on tour with Pop Up Magazine the following dates... Sept 20, San Francisco Sept 21, San Francisco Sept 22, San Francisco Sept 25, D.C. Sept 27, Brooklyn Sept 29, Los Angeles Oct 2, Portland Oct 3, Portland **AF WKLY subscribers get $5 off their Pop Up tickets! In all cities but L.A., enter code ART5 at checkout for the discount. If you're buying L.A. tickets, you have to click the box "$5 Discount" first, which will prompt you to enter the ART5 code, then take you to seat selection, etc. Oct 8, Los Angeles: In conversation with Heather Havrilesky about her new book, What If This Were Enough, at Skylight Books Oct 10, Los Angeles: In conversation with Leah Dieterich about her book, Vanishing Twins, at the Ace Hotel The Classifieds Join Good Vibes Only: a retreat for creative, soulful ladies on Sept 21-23 just outside of Washington, DC. Use code LADYSWAGGER for $25 off. How far would you go to ensure Democrats win the 2018 midterms? In Rules of Resistance, Iz Whitman is about to find out. Woke Women Rising: Speaking Up for Change | Unleash the power of your voice to create a new narrative for social change. Latham Thomas, Jamia Wilson & Vanessa Valenti share their expertise in this women-only workshop to amplify what matters to you. Sept. 28-30 at Omega Institute Just published: a goal framework that never mentions the word “hustle.” Reframe your goals without hating your life. Buy the book that helps you understand yourself, create a method, and complete goals. For current and future business owners, freelancers, & salaried workers. Make time for your writing—register for Elephant Rock’s course on the art of arresting description. All are welcome, especially beginners. Ads for next Friday's newsletter are sold out already, so snag your September space now! Click for rates + info. Testimonials "The one-two punch of the @annfriedman & @ellmcgirt newsletters on Fridays are the favorite parts of my day" -Jalisa Whitley. You know which other Friday 'letters are great? Jamelle Bouie's, Girls' Night In, and Austin Kleon's. It's funny because when I started this thing, many people were like, "Tuesday is the best day for email!" And I am indeed flooded with marketing emails most Tuesdays. But I feel like Friday has become the default day for personal newsletters. I'm not mad about it. "Woo the @annfriedman newsletter is here. I like it because it makes me feel like a more well-rounded (and well-read) human being - and on a Friday evening and all, that's no mean feat. Thanks for the great reads." -Jacquelyn Guderley. The AF WKLY: Rounding you out since 2013. "@annfriedman tinyletter is so god damn good" -Michael Lindgren. Technically not a TinyLetter anymore (I'm grown & Mailchimped now), but I'll take it. This newsletter is trying to do the work. Forward it to someone you labor alongside. AF WEEKLY Subscribe Share on Twitter Share on Facebook Manage paid membership MORE ANN Email me About me Writing archive Public speaking Rent my brain Manage Preferences | Unsubscribe | Ladyswagger, Inc. PO Box 26932 | Los Angeles, CA 90026 © 2018