[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

 
 
 
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(made in the USA)

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I have a very important announcement to make.
Today is going to be the last issue of
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER. Yes, that is sad, but I
confess, is true. There is not much I can
do about it either. See, aliens are coming
tonight. They are going to kidnap and abduct all
the good looking and sexy people on earth.
But don't worry, You will be safe.
I'm just writing this to
say good bye.

We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

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THE COMICS

the idea
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get up off your ass and clean this place!!
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Jill, a love-starved spinster, was so desperate that
she went to a local newspaper office and inquired about
putting an advertisement in the
'Lonely Hearts' column.
"Well, madam," the assistant said,
"we charge a minimum of $1 per insertion."
"You don't say," said Jill. "Well then,
here's $20 and to hell with
the advertisement!"
________________
 
A man and his wife are watching a championship
boxing match on TV.Early in the second round, one
of the fighters goes down for the count.
The husband sighs and says, "I'm so disappointed.
It was all over in four minutes!"
The wife replies, "Good. Now you know how I feel."
_______________
 
Two prostitutes were riding around town with a
sign on top of their car which
said: 'Two Prostitutes -- $50.00.'
A policeman, seeing the sign,
stopped them and told them
they'd either have to remove the sign
or go to jail.
Just at that time, another car passed with a sign saying:
'JESUS SAVES.'
One of the girls asked the officer,
'How come you don't stop them?!'
& lt; /SPAN>'Well, that's a little different,'
the officer smiled . .
'Their sign pertains to religion.'
So the two ladies of the night frowned
as they took their sign down and drove off.
The following day found the same police officer
in the area when he noticed the two ladies
driving around with a large sign on their car again.
Figuring he had an easy arrest,
he began to catch up with them
when he noticed the new sign which now read:
'Two Fallen Angels Seeking Peter -- $50.
______________
 
NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to
Mars. Only one could go, but with one catch - he
couldn't return to Earth.
The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much
he wanted to be paid for going. "One million dollars," he
answered, "because I want to donate it to M.I.T."
The next applicant, a doctor, was asked the same
question. He asked for two million. "I want to give a
million to my family," he explained, "and leave the other
million for the advancement of medical research." The
last applicant was a lawyer. When asked how much
money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer's
ear, "Three million dollars."
"Why so much more than the others?" the interviewer
asked.The lawyer replied, "If you give me $3 million, I'll give
you $1 million, I'll keep $1 million, and we'll send the
engineer."
________________
 
A lady says to the psychiatrist, "I think I might be a
nymphomaniac." He says, "I'll see what I can do to help you.
My fee is eighty dollars an hour."
She says, "How much for all night?"
_______________
 
Brenda, pregnant with her first child, was paying a visit
to her obstetrician's office. When the exam was over, she
shyly began, "My husband wants me to ask you..."
"I know, I know." The doctor said, placing a reassuring hand
on her shoulder, "I get asked all the time. Sex is fine
until late in the pregnancy."
"No, that's not it at all," Brenda confessed. "He wants to
know if I can still mow the lawn."
____________

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Movies
 
 
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LAB LAUGHS
 
 
 
 
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

 
 
 
 











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[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

 
welcome to:
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
where the world goes for its daily dose of humor!
(made in the USA)

THIS EZINE IS FREE TO ALL WHO ASK FOR IT adult humor. wanna subscribe? send a blank email to:
PostmansCorner-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Disclaimer.:
Don't like what you read?
keep yer comments to yerself,
I don't give a rip:)
wanna unsubscribe? don't bug the list owner, he'll just send you a nasty email.
just hit reply to this email and...cya!!!!!!!
 
GOOD AFTERNOON POSTMAN FANS!




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FROM: THE INVESTIGATIVE REPORTS BUREAU OF
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Campbell's soup company announced a new marketing
campaign for a new brand of soup yesterday.
A company spokesman said: "Alphabet soup has always
been one of our number 1 sellers. However, the product
tends to appeal to children. There fore, we have launched
a new kind of alphabet soup to attract the senior citizen."
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We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

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THE COMICS

Be a good girl
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President Clinton looks up from his desk in the Oval Office to see one
of his aides nervously approaching him.
"What is it?" sighs the president.
"It's this abortion bill. What do you want to do about it?" the aide asks.
"Go ahead and pay it," says the president.
_________________
 
Saw a billboard that said:
Need help? Call Jesus.1-800-005-3787
So I did and a Mexican showed up with a tow truck!
________________
 
Gay Man's Motto:
"My body is a temple ... With ample parking in the rear."
Q: What do a mechanic and a lesbian have in common?
A: They both use snap-on tools.
________________
 
A father who worked away from home all week, always made a special effort
with his family on the weekends. Every Sunday morning he would take his 7-year
old daughter out for a drive in the car for some bonding time.
One particular Sunday however, he had a bad cold and he really didn't feel like
being up at all. Luckily, his wife came to the rescue and said that she would
take their daughter out. When they returned, the little girl anxiously ran upstairs
to see her father.
'Well,' the father asked, 'did you enjoy your ride with mommy?'
'Oh yes, Daddy' the girl replied, 'and do you know what? We didn't see a single
dumb bastard or lousy shit head!'
_________________
 
Mary: It was supposed to be nothing more than a good night kiss,
but He instantly tried to run his hand up under my skirt.
Jill: How forward!
Mary: Exactly! That's why I stopped him, and he said, "Oh, Honey! Am I
the first one ever to do this to you?"
Jill: Oh, please!
Mary: I know! So I said, "I don't know; you haven't done anything yet,
and at this rate you'll never get the chance either!"
_________________
 
After having failed his exam in "Logistics and Organization", a student goes and
confronts his lecturer about it.
Student: "Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?"
Professor: "Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!"
Student: "Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me
the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If you however do not
know the answer, I want you give me an "A" for the exam. "
Professor: "Okay, it's a deal. So what is the question?"
Student: "What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and neither logical,
nor legal?" Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot 
give the student an
answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an "A", as agreed.
Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the same question.
He immediately answers: "Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 35 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 25 year old lover,
which is logical, but not legal. The fact that you have given your wife's
lover an "A", although he
really should have failed, is neither legal, nor logical
____________________
 
When the gynecologist confirmed her suspicion that she was pregnant, Ann got a
little scared."It'll be my first baby," she confessed with a blush," and I don't
actually know the first thing about how babies are delivered."
"Don't worry about a thing," reassured the doctor. "It's really not all that
different from how the baby got started in the first place."
Startled, Ann exclaimed, "You mean, five tequila shooters and then a ride in
Charlie's truck?"
__________________
 
Although I am of Chinese descent, I never really learned to speak Chinese.
One evening, I came home boasting about a wonderful meal I'd had in Chinatown.
Unfortunately, I couldn't remember the name of the restaurant but was able to
write the Chinese character that was on the door and show it to my mother.
"Do you know what it says?"
Mom asked with a smile. "It says 'Pull.'"
________________
 
Italian Mother: "Hello?"      
Daughter: "Hi Mom. Can I leave the kids with you tonight?"  
Italian Mother: "You're going out?"      
Daughter: "Yes."    
Italian Mother: "With whom?"  
Daughter: "With a friend."       
Italian Mother: "I don't know why you left your husband. He is such a good man."      
Daughter: "MOM, I didn't leave him. He left me!"       
Italian Mother: "You let him leave you, and now you go out with anybodies and nobodies."       Daughter: "MA, I do not go out with anybody. Can I bring over the kids?"      
Italian Mother: "I never left you to go out with anybody except your father."      
Daughter: "There are lots of things that you did and I don't."    
Italian Mother: "What are you hinting at?"      
Daughter: "Nothing, I just want to know if I can bring the kids over tonight.."          
Italian Mother: "You're going to stay the night with him?  What will your
husband say if he finds out?"      
Daughter: "MA its My EX husband. I don't think he would be bothered. 
From the day he left me, he probably never slept alone!"     
Italian Mother: "So you're going to sleep over at this loser's place?"
Daughter: "MOM, He's not a loser."          
Italian Mother: "A man who goes out with a divorced woman with children is
a loser and a parasite."    
Daughter: "MA, I don't want to argue; should I bring over the kids or not?"          
Italian Mother: "Poor children with such a mother."      
Daughter: "Such a what?"      
Italian Mother: "With no stability. No wonder your husband left you."      
Daughter: "ENOUGH MA!!!"  
Italian Mother: "Don't scream at me. You probably scream at the loser too!"
Daughter: "Great MA, Now you're worried about the loser?"          
Italian Mother: "Ah, so you see he is a loser and I spotted him immediately."      
Daughter: "Goodbye, mother."       
Italian Mother: "Wait! Wait! Don't hang up! When are you bringing them over? "       Daughter: "I'm not bringing them over! I'm not going out!"          
Italian Mother: "If you never go out, how do you expect to meet anyone?
 
BUFFALO'S
Movies
 
 
 
 
LAB LAUGHS
 
 
 
 
 
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman









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