[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

 

 
welcome to:
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
where the world goes for its daily dose of humor!
(made in the USA)

THIS EZINE IS FREE TO ALL WHO ASK FOR IT adult humor. wanna subscribe? send a blank email to:
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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
 



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well, it took a lot of work,
but I finally got my computer to do what I wanted it to
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We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman


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Mary Simpson was almost crazy with her three kids. She complained to her best friend, "They're driving me nuts. Such pests, they give me no rest
and I'm half-way to the nut hatch."     "What you need is a playpen to separate the
kids from yourself," her friend said.     So Mary bought a playpen. A few days later,
her friend called to ask how things were going.     "Superb! I can't believe it,"
Mary said. "I get in that pen with a good book and the kids don't bother me one bit!"
______________
 
An employee who had a terrible history for taking time off phoned in again one Monday morning: "I'm sorry, but I'll not be able to come in today as I'm too sick."  
On hearing this his exasperated boss could barely conceal his anger and retorted in a rage: "Well, just how sick are you?"  
"Well" the employee sighed, "I'm in bed with my sister!"  
________________
 
It was just another day at the DMV. I had taken a woman out on her driving test when a police cruiser came up behind us--sirens wailing, lights flashing.
"Was I speeding?" she asked the officer, after both cars pulled over.
"No," said the officer. "But you are driving a stolen vehicle."
Smiling awkwardly, the woman turned to me. "Does this mean I failed my test?"
________________
 
When the light changed, Maurice stepped off the curb and started to cross the street. He had to jump backward when an SUV almost hit him.
The woman inside calmed the nine kids she was transporting from the soccer match. Then she asked Maurice if he was okay. "Lady!" he yelled. "Don't you know when to stop?"She yelled back, "They're not all mine!"
__________________
 
Woman 1: Oh! You got a haircut! That's so cute!
Woman 2: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she gave me the mirror. I mean,
you don't think it's too fluffy looking? Woman 1: No, it's perfect. I'd love to get
my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I'm pretty much stuck with
this stuff I think.Woman 2: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you
could easily get one of those layer cuts - that would look so cute I think. I was
actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent my long neck.
Woman 1: Oh - that's funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything to take attention away from these football player shoulders of mine. Woman 2: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms, see how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to fit me so much easier.
======================================
NOW TWO MEN TALKING
 Man 1: Haircut?
 Man 2: Yeah.
________________
 
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THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman



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