[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

 
 
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THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
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(made in the USA)

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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!


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I read recently that some analysts are predicting a major downturn in the national economy. Suggesting a increase of unemployment as much as 7%, and predicting that home foreclosures may top a 10% increase for next quarter, I thought to myself "HUH?"...that's where Michigan is at right now and has been for over a year, just that no one wants to admit to it. But now its causing some interesting consequences not only in population movements, but also in politics. The election candidates are now recognizing the economy as the number 1 issue as the election grows closer. Just think, the rest of the country in as bad of shape as Michigan? Go figger. now where are all those Michiganders going to go who are leaving Michigan? Maybe they can move to Mexico and file for welfare:) Well, anyway, if you are still  reading me in spite of my political sarcasm, perhaps this may be a great opportunity for some to check out....


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We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman



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THE COMICS

Why does James Bond like his martini the way he does?
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Dear Abby
The other night my new husband and I were dozing off into sleep after some great sex. I was almost asleep when he gently murmured and with a kind of warmth that melts the heart "I love you, Karen." Well, my name is not Karen. His ex-wife's name is Karen!! I don't know what to think or do about this...
Not Karen
 
Dear Not Karen,
It could have been worse. He could have said, "I love you David!"
_______________
 
Little Johnny drew a fly on the class grade book. It looked so realistic,
that when Miss Baker saw the fly sitting on the notebook, she slammed it
with a ruler. The fly didn't fly away. So she slammed the book once again,
again the fly didn't fly away.This drove Miss Baker really mad, so she started to pound the book with the ruler and, as a result, the grade book became a bunch of torn heets of paper. With the class laughing, she realized what had happened. Then Miss Baker called Little Johnny's father to school.
"You see what your son did to our class grade book?" she said. "That's nothing."
replied the father. "Last month, he drew a naked woman on a fence and for two weeks straight I was pulling splinters out of my dick."
______________________
 
As an executive vice-president, my father was scheduled to meet with the
board of directors of the large advertising agency where he worked. It was
Thanksgiving eve, and he and my mother had exchanged numerous phone calls all day to arrange for the arrival of family members from far away.
Their plan finally set, Dad made his way to the meeting.
Meanwhile, Mom had come up with a better plan. She called my dad at work
and insisted that his secretary deliver the message to him immediately.
The secretary entered the boardroom and announced, "Excuse me, Mr. Harbert,
but your wife just called with an urgent message. She said to tell you that
she's figured out a new way to do it."
___________________
 
A man took his wife to a Broadway show. During the first intermission he
had to use the bathroom in the worst way, so he hurried to find the
bathrooms.He searched in vain for the rest rooms, but instead, all
he found was a beautiful fountain with foliage.
Nobody was watching, so he decided to take a go right there. When he
finally got back into the auditorium, the second act had already begun.
He searched in the dark until he found his wife.
"Did I miss much of the second act?" he asked.
"Miss it?" she said, "You were starring in it!"
________________
 
There was once a wife so jealous that when her husband came home one
night and she couldn't find hairs on his jackets she yelled at
him, "Great, so now you're cheating on me with a bald woman!"
The next night, when she didn't smell any perfume, she yelled again
by saying, "She's not only bald, but she's too cheap to buy any perfume
__________________
 
This middle-aged guy wakes up one morning and notices that his eyes are
bulging and his ears are protruding. He becomes very concerned. So he goes
to his doctor and asks him what is wrong with him. The doctor told him that
he has a rare disease that will require him to take this medication for
several months to clear up the disease, however the medication will make his
hair fall out permanently. Several months later the guy's eyes are still
bulging and his ears are still protruding, more so now that his hair is
gone. So this time he goes to a different doctor who informs him that he has
a liver problems and that they will have to remove part of his liver. So the
guy has the surgery only to find out months later, his eyes are still
bulging and his ears are still protruding.
Determined to find out what is wrong with him he goes to another doctor who
tells him that the nerves in his hands are pinching the nerve endings in his
ears and his eyes and the only way to resolve the problem is to have his
hands amputated. Sadly, the guy lets his hands be amputated.
Months later, the man still has the problem. He goes to another specialist
who informs him that the cause is a rare blood disease and that the man only
has a few months to live. The guy is hysterical at this point and resolves
that if he only has months to live he is going to live it up. So he goes out
to buy a brand new sports car, new furniture, and a new wardrobe. However,
when he went to order some custom shirts, the tailor told him he took a
17-inch neck."No, I've always taken a 15-inch neck." "But sir, you have a 17-inch neck.""Listen - I'm 45 years old, and for the past 30 years I've taken a 15-inch
neck.""Okay, I'll do it. But you do know what happens when the neck is too small?"
"What?""It makes your eyes bulge and your ears protrude."
 
BUFFALO'S
Movies
 
 
 
 
 
LABLAUGHS
 
 
 
 
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman






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