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THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
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THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
where the world goes for its daily dose of humor!
(made in the USA)
THIS EZINE IS FREE TO ALL WHO ASK FOR IT adult humor. wanna subscribe? send a blank email to:
PostmansCorner-
Disclaimer.:
Don't like what you read?
keep yer comments to yerself,
I don't give a rip:)
wanna unsubscribe? don't bug the list owner, he'll just send you a nasty email.
just hit reply to this email and...cya!!!
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
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OK, I am putting things back together finally, after the case of
the missing wallet.While I do not wish to dwell on the event,
there are a couple of things I have learned that I would like to
point out, should anyone be faced with such a loss of their own.
I hope you never have this experience, but if you do, It's no fun.
First, I mentioned earlier, and I think most of you know, don't
I hope you never have this experience, but if you do, It's no fun.
First, I mentioned earlier, and I think most of you know, don't
carry your social security card in your purse or wallet. Keep it
with your important papers.like your house deed. etc. Another thing,
if you ever have to call in to report your credit cards stolen,
keep in mind, one of my card representatives told me something
I never thought of. After they are reported stolen, they can still be
I never thought of. After they are reported stolen, they can still be
used if a merchant punches the numbers in manually or a purchase
is made online or over the phone. So its better simply to apply for a
new card if yours is lost and then cancel the lost one.
Also, have you thought of what to do with your debit card?
I lost my wallet on a Saturday after 1pm when the bank was
closed. So there was no way to find out how to cancel
the debit card until Monday morning. Safe you say, cuz they
the debit card until Monday morning. Safe you say, cuz they
don't have the pin number? A pin# is not needed for many
online purchases, and also, many debit cards can be used
like a credit card. So that may or may not make u safe. The
like a credit card. So that may or may not make u safe. The
best thing to do, ask your bank for the number to call to cancel
in case you have to do so after hours. keep the number on
file for just such emergencies. Hopefully you will never have to
know about these tips. But its better to be prepared than not.
OK, enough about the lost wallet.
lets move on to other things!!!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman!
FREE JEANS!!!!!
want a free pair of true religion jeans?
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THE COMICS
it hurts to pee
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t011.html
lets move on to other things!!!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman!
FREE JEANS!!!!!
want a free pair of true religion jeans?
http://www.thepostm
THE COMICS
it hurts to pee
http://www.thepostm
the preference
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t012.html
http://www.thepostm
casual friday
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t014.html
http://www.thepostm
a good book
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t016.html
http://www.thepostm
at the clinic
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t017.html
http://www.thepostm
first to my wife...
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t019.html
http://www.thepostm
the bad flagpole
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t020.html
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
the forest fire
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies1073.html
http://www.thepostm
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
the forest fire
http://www.thepostm
Canadian Idol
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies1075.html
http://www.thepostm
the dog father
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies1076.html
http://www.thepostm
dolphin wedding
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies1077.html
http://www.thepostm
arctic animals
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies1078.html
__________________
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"OLD" IS WHEN Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Pick one; I can't do both!"
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____________
FREE BATH AND BODY WORKS
Everyone deserves a little pampering—and you're no exception.
Get a $500 Bath & Body Works™ Gift Card and stock up on
all your favorite beauty products.
"OLD" IS WHEN Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Pick one; I can't do both!"
"OLD " IS WHEN ... Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot .
"OLD" IS WHEN A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door.
"OLD" IS WHEN Going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
"OLD" IS WHEN You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
"OLD" IS WHEN You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police
"OLD" IS WHEN "Getting a little action" means you don't need to take any fibre today.
"OLD" IS WHEN "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.
"OLD" IS WHEN An "all nighter" means not getting up to use the bathroom.
"OLD" IS WHEN You are not sure these are jokes.
_________________
____________
The teacher wrote on the blackboard: "I ain't had no fun in months,"
then asked the class, "How should I correct this sentence?"
Little Johnny raised his had and replied, "Get yourself a new boyfriend."
_______________
then asked the class, "How should I correct this sentence?"
Little Johnny raised his had and replied, "Get yourself a new boyfriend."
____________
There was a loser who couldn't get a date. He went to a bar and asked
a guy how to get a date. The guy said, "It's simple. I just say that
I'm a lawyer." So the guy went up to a pretty woman and asked her
out. After she said no, he told her that it was probably a good thing
because he had a case early in the morning. She said, "Oh! You're a
lawyer?" He said, "Why, yes I am!" So they went to his place. When
they were in bed making love, the guy started to laugh to himself.
When she asked what was so funny, he answered, "Well, I've only been
a lawyer for 15 minutes, and I'm already screwing someone!"
_______________
a guy how to get a date. The guy said, "It's simple. I just say that
I'm a lawyer." So the guy went up to a pretty woman and asked her
out. After she said no, he told her that it was probably a good thing
because he had a case early in the morning. She said, "Oh! You're a
lawyer?" He said, "Why, yes I am!" So they went to his place. When
they were in bed making love, the guy started to laugh to himself.
When she asked what was so funny, he answered, "Well, I've only been
a lawyer for 15 minutes, and I'm already screwing someone!"
____________
John was talking to his girlfriend, Rebecca, and he said,
"Be honest, now, baby. How am I as a lover?"
To which she replied, "Honey, I would definitely say that you're warm."
"Really?" he said excitedly.
"Yes, in fact I would say that you're the dictionary definition of
the word 'warm'."John was pleased until he went home
"Be honest, now, baby. How am I as a lover?"
To which she replied, "Honey, I would definitely say that you're warm."
"Really?" he said excitedly.
"Yes, in fact I would say that you're the dictionary definition of
the word 'warm'."John was pleased until he went home
and, just for fun, checked his
dictionary and found, "WARM: Not so hot."
_________________
dictionary and found, "WARM: Not so hot."
____________
A businessman was in Japan to make a presentation
to the Toyota motor people.
Needless to say, this was an especially important deal,
and it was imperative that he make the best possible impression.
On the morning of the presentation he awoke to find
himself passing gas, in large volumes, with the
unpleasant characteristic of sounding like "HONDA."
The man was besides himself. Every few minutes "HONDA",
"HONDA"....
to the Toyota motor people.
Needless to say, this was an especially important deal,
and it was imperative that he make the best possible impression.
On the morning of the presentation he awoke to find
himself passing gas, in large volumes, with the
unpleasant characteristic of sounding like "HONDA."
The man was besides himself. Every few minutes "HONDA",
"HONDA"....
Unable to stop this aberrant behavior, and in desperate
need to terminate these odious and rather embarrassing
emissions, he sought a physicians aid.
After a full examination, the doctor told him that
there was nothing inherently wrong with him and
that he would just have to wait it out.
need to terminate these odious and rather embarrassing
emissions, he sought a physicians aid.
After a full examination, the doctor told him that
there was nothing inherently wrong with him and
that he would just have to wait it out.
Being unwilling to accept this state of affairs he
visited a second and then a third doctor all of
whom told him the same thing.
Finally one medic suggested that he visit a dentist.
Well although he could not see how a dentist was
going to be of any help, he visited one anyway.
visited a second and then a third doctor all of
whom told him the same thing.
Finally one medic suggested that he visit a dentist.
Well although he could not see how a dentist was
going to be of any help, he visited one anyway.
Lo and behold, the dentist said, "Ah, there's the
problem" "What is it?" the man asked.
"Why you have an abscess," said the dentist.
"An abscess. How could that be causing my problem?"
asked the man.
"That's easy," replied the dentist. "Why everyone
knows... Abscess makes the fart go Honda."
_______________
problem" "What is it?" the man asked.
"Why you have an abscess," said the dentist.
"An abscess. How could that be causing my problem?"
asked the man.
"That's easy," replied the dentist. "Why everyone
knows... Abscess makes the fart go Honda."
____________
A newspaper reporter was writing a feature story about prison
life and was interviewing one of the prisoners. "Do you watch
much television here?"
"Only the daytime shows," the inmate said. "At night we're
locked in our cells and don't see any television."
"That's too bad," the reporter said, "But I do think it is nice
that the warden lets you watch it in the daytime."
"What do you mean, nice?" the inmate said. "That's part of
the punishment."
_________________
life and was interviewing one of the prisoners. "Do you watch
much television here?"
"Only the daytime shows," the inmate said. "At night we're
locked in our cells and don't see any television."
"That's too bad," the reporter said, "But I do think it is nice
that the warden lets you watch it in the daytime."
"What do you mean, nice?" the inmate said. "That's part of
the punishment."
____________
Over Christmas Break
After a Christmas break, a teacher asked her young pupils how they
spent their holidays. One small boy wrote the following:
"We always used to spend Christmas with Grandpa and Grandma. They used
to live here in a big brick home, but Grandpa got retarded and they
moved to Florida. Now they live in a place with a lot of other retarded
people. They all live in little tin boxes. They ride on big
three-wheeled tricycles and they all wear nametags because they don't
know whom they are. They go to a big building called a wrecking hall;
but if it was wrecked, they got it fixed because it's all right now.
They play games and do exercises there, but they don't do them very
good." There is a swimming pool there. They go into it and just stand there
with their hats on. I guess they don't know how to swim.
As you go into their park, there is a dollhouse with a little man
sitting in it. He watches all day so they can't get out without him
seeing them. When they can sneak out they go to the beach and pick up
shells that they think are dollars.
My Grandma used to bake cookies and stuff, but I guess she forgot how.
Nobody cooks, they just eat out. They eat the same thing every night,
Early Birds. Some of the people are so retarded that they don't know
how to cook at all, so my Grandma and Grandpa bring food into the wrecked
hall and they call it 'pot luck'.
My Grandma says Grandpa worked hard all his life and earned his
retardment. I wish they would move back up here, but I guess the little
man in the dollhouse won't let them out."
___________________
BUFFALO'S
Movies
After a Christmas break, a teacher asked her young pupils how they
spent their holidays. One small boy wrote the following:
"We always used to spend Christmas with Grandpa and Grandma. They used
to live here in a big brick home, but Grandpa got retarded and they
moved to Florida. Now they live in a place with a lot of other retarded
people. They all live in little tin boxes. They ride on big
three-wheeled tricycles and they all wear nametags because they don't
know whom they are. They go to a big building called a wrecking hall;
but if it was wrecked, they got it fixed because it's all right now.
They play games and do exercises there, but they don't do them very
good." There is a swimming pool there. They go into it and just stand there
with their hats on. I guess they don't know how to swim.
As you go into their park, there is a dollhouse with a little man
sitting in it. He watches all day so they can't get out without him
seeing them. When they can sneak out they go to the beach and pick up
shells that they think are dollars.
My Grandma used to bake cookies and stuff, but I guess she forgot how.
Nobody cooks, they just eat out. They eat the same thing every night,
Early Birds. Some of the people are so retarded that they don't know
how to cook at all, so my Grandma and Grandpa bring food into the wrecked
hall and they call it 'pot luck'.
My Grandma says Grandpa worked hard all his life and earned his
retardment. I wish they would move back up here, but I guess the little
man in the dollhouse won't let them out."
____________
BUFFALO'S
Movies
Tell Your Friend Immature Adult
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/3363.htm
http://www.buffalos
Need Glasses
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/3381.htm
http://www.buffalos
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
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