I loved this book. And I think you will too. Then again, it's hard to know who people are, you know, below the surface. So many are gooey, yet many are not.
I'm talking about men here, but occasionally women fit this paradigm. What you see is what you get. It's all surface. They want it and they're out to get it. If they're reading a book, dedicating the time, it must pay dividends, it must teach them something, best to read nonfiction for the lessons, even though fiction is always more true than fact.
So what we've got here is a Jewish family.
Well, that excises most of the public. However, families are universal. The primary unit. From which direction and neurosis emanate. If you grew up in a typical Jewish middle class suburban home, a lot of this will resonate. The professional father, the mother who sacrificed her career to raise children, the hopes and dreams instilled in said children, and the ultimate veering from the path.
That's what they don't prepare you for, how it all goes haywire. Sure, unexpected things can happen, like car accidents, illness, but usually it's situational. You find yourself in a place you never anticipated, without a map, and all the people you counted on for advice are the worst to go to, because they don't understand who you truly are, who you've become. You've grown up, separated from your parents, become a full person, yet the roadblocks and choices have you flummoxed.
Like Maya. She wanted to stay in education, get her doctorate, become a teacher. But her advisor tells her this is the worst path possible. You know it's hard to get a tenured professorship, right?
And then there's Gideon, who knew he wanted to be a doctor from day one, emulating his father. But when you start to think, do you really want to continue down the path you're on?
Then there's the self-centered grandmother, Marjorie. You know people like this, who don't believe they're an imposition, who can't be criticized, who are essentially children in adult bodies, narcissists.
And then there's Scott, the head of the household. Sure, he's a doctor, but can he really pay all the bills?
And his wife Deb... Those urgings in her loins, can those be suppressed?
We only go around once. And you get to decide how tight you want to hold the throttle, the joystick. There are people sans instruction, who wake up one day behind the eight ball. They've got no education, got no money, and life continues to be a struggle. And the problems keep compounding. The drugs, the babies, the bills... And then there are those who do exactly what they're told to. They become professionals. Follow in the footsteps their parents have laid out for them from the time of birth. They jump through hoops, get that graduate degree, and then wake up in mid-life and ask themselves if they truly want to be doctors or lawyers or... I hear from this type all the time, they're more passionate about music than the people who work in it. They live to go to the show, because that's their fulfillment, their jobs have become empty vessels rendering the cash it takes to feed their lifestyle. And in-between.
Do you know how hard it is for a Jewish kid to drop out of college? Maybe you're not making it, believe me, your parents will excoriate you. And then there are people like Mark Zuckerberg...you slave to get into Harvard and you're not going to finish? And normally finishing is everything. But sometimes you have to break the rules. Like Mick Jagger dropping out of the London School of Economics. His father was horrified. This is not the way it was supposed to be. You're throwing away your future! But sometimes inside you know, this is not the way to go.
And oftentimes that comes from upbringing, ironically. Having been given the best and the brightest by your parents, who want to enrich your life so it can be even better than theirs, you discover other stimulants, other paths, and your parents are confounded.
So, once again, what we've got here is a family. And you've got no idea what goes on behind closed doors. As you get older you realize this. A friend of my father was married to a beautiful woman, yet he was stepping out, why? She was too needy, too hard-edged, he had to go his own way. I was stunned when I found out. And you hear it all the time, that this or that couple that looked incredibly happy got a divorce. And that kid you grew up with, who you played at the house of, they went to India, followed a guru, are into yoga, and don't seem to care about money whatsoever. And we don't know what is going on behind the front door of the Greenspans' house either.
Some are shocked. Some knew and played it back to them.
As for Scott... Where is the line between truth and fiction? It's kind of like Trump's fraud trial, if no one gets hurt should there be a penalty? But the rules are the rules.
And Deb follows her desires and her life is at risk of being stolen out from under her.
And Maya is living out her fantasy, putting her whole life, never mind her job, at risk. Furthermore, the underpinnings of her interaction are based on a false premise. That's happened to you, right? Where you're acting based on a certain perception, with your significant other, a good friend, and then you find out the real story, the basics, the bedrock, it's all completely different.
But it's life and life only. And what we're truly looking for is fulfillment.
Well, not if you're broke and disadvantaged, then you're just in survival mode. You'd be stunned how much of America is in survival mode. Their judgments, their choices might not make any sense, but if you were in their shoes, desperate and oppressed, they probably would.
But as we move up the economic food chain, that becomes the question. You wake up one day, hopefully, and realize it's your life. What do you want to do? And are you so invested in what you've done that you can't change?
"Hope" is one of those books you can't put down. You sacrifice other activities to read. And when you're reading your mind does not drift. And it's an easy read, cuts like butter.
You might find some of the plot points, especially in the beginning, a bit too obvious, a bit too neat, but as you continue to read you're no longer bugged by this. We always expect books to surprise us, and when they don't, we consider them lowbrow. Not that "Hope" doesn't ultimately surprise us, but at first, I wondered, was "Hope" lowbrow or highbrow?
And I couldn't remember where the tip came from. Mostly mine come from the Sunday Book Review section of the "New York Times," and Ron Charles's weekly e-mail from the "Washington Post." But I'll read an article and someone will be testifying and I'll reserve that book too.
Yes, I reserve these books via the Libby app. And you'd be surprised how soon you can get the best sellers. But the best thing is the spectrum of books you can sample is much more vast, and you're not invested if a book doesn't ring your bell, you're not out bucks. Remember when you bought a bad record? It really bugged you, your money was limited. And this set, the music freaks, bought many fewer books. And if one was a bummer...they might wait an entire year to purchase another.
So at two a.m. last night, well, this morning, I was confronted with whether to read for another hour and a half and finish "Hope," or to go to bed and pick up today. I ultimately forced myself to sleep, it wasn't easy, but I was fearful of my day being messed up from lack of sleep. But before I turned in, I was in my own cocoon, my own world, with these characters. This is what I live for, the darkness, with the story.
And I know this is a conundrum. Rather than read about people, I could leave the house and hang with them, meet them. But there's my social anxiety, and too often the experiences are not fulfilling, and like I said above, fulfillment ends up being everything. Actually, the question is when you can veer off toward fulfillment. Do you have to finish college first? Man, if I'd dropped out of college my father would have killed me. Literally.
So, I very much enjoyed reading "Hope," and I hope you will too.
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