THE POSTMAN
So Turk the dog, aka Carlos the rat, has his own mind.
And he also has a "look" very similar to the war dept.
Seems that he has never caught on to the idea of barking
when he needs to go out. You know, that mutt will bark at
everything. Snowflakes, leaves, squirrels ...u name it. But
bark to let us know he needs out? NAHHH! What that dog
does is he stands at the door and gives you a patient
look. He may not always get the right door to the outside.
It may be the upstairs door, or the bathroom door etc. Right?
So the other day he is standing there in front of the closet
door, the look on his face saying, "Come on fat man, you know
what I need here." So just for chits and giggles, I open
the closet door. He looks, and then he looks back at me
with that look that says, "Old man, you're an A**hole,
you know that?"
I have come to the conclusion that reading the expressions
on my dog's face and the face of the war dept. are probably
very similar.
ENJOY THE JOKES
How do you spot the blind man at a nudist colony?
It isn't hard
There were three gals who were getting married and all met at the marriage
counselor's office to discuss the options of having or not having a baby right
away. There were two city gals and one farm gal. The counselor asked them if they
planned on having a baby right away or were going to wait awhile. They all agreed
that they had discussed this with their potential husbands and all agreed to wait awhile.
Well the counselor asked the first gal what type of birth control she planned to
use. Her answer was, the rhythm method. That will work said the counselor if you
keep a good record. He asked the second gal what system she planned on using. I
plan on using birth control pills she said. Again he said, yes that will work as long as
you don't forget to take them. He then asked the farm girl what system she was planning
on using. Her answer was, the pail and saucer, method. After a short delay, he again
told her that should also work. He asked them all to come back in one year on a specific
date for a follow up on how things were going. They all met again one year later and the
two city gals were pregnant. Only the farm gal was slim and trim yet. Well the counselor
asked the first gal what method she used and what went wrong. She replied that she
used the rhythm method, but somehow got her notes mixed up and, well here I am,
going to have a baby. He asked the second city gal what method she used and she
replied, the birth control pill but we were camping one weekend and I didn't have my
pills with me and as you can see, I too am going to have a baby. He turns to the farm
gal and told her that I vaguely remember you were going to use the pail and saucer
method. Now I must admit that I don't have a clue what the pail and saucer method is.
Will you explain it to me as I see it has worked well for you.She replied, "Well we make
love standing up, and since I am quite a bit taller than my husband, he stands on a pail
turned upside down. Now as we are making love, I watch
his eyes, and when his eyes get as big as saucers, I kick the pail out from under him.
When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping", now I just "chunky dunk".
"May I have some stationery?" a man asked the hotel clerk.
"Are you a guest of the hotel?" asked the clerk.
"No, I'm paying sixty dollars a day," said the man.
The 2000 member Baptist church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning.
The preacher was ready to start the sermon when two men, dressed in long black coats
and black hats entered through the rear of the church.One of the two men walked to the
middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church. They both then
reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons.The one in the middle announced,
"EVERYONE WILLING TO TAKE A BULLET FOR JESUS STAY IN YOUR SEAT!"Naturally, the
pews emptied, followed by the choir. The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir
director and the assistant pastor.After a few moments, there were about 20 people
left sitting in the church. The preacher was holding steady in the pulpit.The men put their
weapons away and said, gently, to the preacher, "All right, pastor, the hypocrites are gone
now. You may begin the service."
waiting for my wife
like to join
at work
fool around
zoned out
sexually active
during an argument
redneck word of the day
life hack
do you drink
poop in the house
w2's are out
calling in sick
prostrate exam
_._,_._,_
Groups.io Links:
You receive all messages sent to this group.
View/Reply Online (#43) | Reply To Group | Reply To Sender | Mute This Topic | New Topic
Your Subscription | Contact Group Owner | Unsubscribe [potty.plant@gmail.com]
_._,_._,_
No comments:
Post a Comment