THE POSTMAN
So just a quick chat with you married guys. We are
all in this together right? Cuz I am sure yours has said it
to you too..."Honey, you need to get this done or that done," Right?
That dreaded :Honey do..." List. Do that do this, and
the list never seems to get less. But anyways,,,
No sense in replying, to her cuz no matter what you say, she
will say, "Well I told you to do that last week didn't I?"
And you know what? I was trying to think of a response
when the war department called me LAZY! I mean come on!
Can you believe that? I do not understand why she had to
get so graphic and mean. I mean, think about it.
lazy is just an ugly term...can't we call it
"selective participation"? Want to guess what her response
was to that question? Well, never mind.
ENJOY THE JOKES
A bride called to make a change to her wedding list. It is common, almost
expected, that a bride will change something on her list at least once
(dishes, color of towels, etc.). The Customer Service Representative told her
that John Lewis would be happy to make the change.
He asked if the bride wanted to change the dishes or the linens.The bride said,
"No, keep all that. I just wanted to change the name of the groom."
forbidden? A slice of chocolate covered cheesecake that
goes right to my hips, that would be forbidden
forbidden? A slice of chocolate covered cheesecake that
goes right to my hips, that would be forbidden
The tough businessman was feeling very ill and went to the doctor.
The doc examined him and backed away, saying,
"I'm sorry to tell you this, but you have an advanced case of highly
infectious rabies. You must have had it for some time. It will almost certainly be fatal."
"Could you give me a pen and paper?" asked the businessman.
"Do you want to write your will?"
"No, I want to make a list of all the people I want to bite."
An Australian entered a bar and stood beside a Scotsman.
"Where are you from, pal?" asked the Scotsman, after they had chatted for a while.
"I'm from the finest country in the whole wide world." Said the Australian.
"Are you?" said the other, "you have a damn funny accent for a Scotsman."
and to my gold digger wife I leave my
pic and shovel
and to my gold digger wife I leave my
pic and shovel
A Guy urgently needed a few days off work,
But, he knew the Boss would not allow him to leave.
he thought that maybe if he acted "Crazy"
Then he would tell him to take a few days off.
So, he hung upside-down on the ceiling &
Made funny noises.
His co-worker (who's blonde)! asked him what he was doing.
He told her that he was pretending to be a light bulb,
So, that the Boss might think he was "Crazy" & give him a few days off.
A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked,
"What are you doing?"
He told him he was a light bulb.
He said, "You are clearly stressed out."
Go home & recuperate for a couple of days."
He jumped down & walked out of the office...
When his co-worker (the blonde) followed him,
The Boss asked her
"...And where do you think you're going?!"
She said,
"I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark!!
There is a fellow who is talking to his buddy and says,
"I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything,
and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants. I'm stumped."
His buddy says, "I have an idea. Why don't you make up a certificate that
says she can have two hours of great sex, any way she wants it. She'll
probably be thrilled!" The first fellow does just that. The next day, his
buddy asks, "Well, did you take my suggestion? How did it turn out?"
"She loved it. She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the mouth, and ran
out the door yelling, 'I'll see you in two hours!'"
got pulled over
sending in the military
the matrix
morning wood
dealing with a bully
you have to stop
most adults in the world
parking
student loans
lawnmower for sale
2 options
my spirit plant
don't wanna get up
does it hurt
1 out of 4
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