THE POSTMAN
I have a great idea! I think I
am going to start another zine!
I just really love doing this stuff.
I think I will branch out and offer
cooking tips. what do you think?
ENJOY THE JOKES
I went out with my girlfriend and asked her, "Why is it every time I go out with you,
I end up spending hundreds of dollars?"
"Because I'm a prostitute."
10 Things Men Know
1. Men know that Mother Nature's best aphrodisiac is still a naked woman.
2. Men know that PMS is Mother Nature's way of telling you to get out of the house.
3. Men know never to run away from a fight that you know you can win.
4. Men know that cats are evil and cannot be trusted.
5. Men know how to change the toilet paper, but to do so would ruin the game.
6. Men know exactly how much gas is left in the tank and how far that gas will get them.
7. Men know that from time to time, it is absolutely necessary to adjust oneself.
8. Men know that a woman will wear a low-cut dress and expect the man to stare
at her cleavage. Men also know that the woman will get pissed off when they do,
for reasons not totally clear to them.
9. Men know that it's never a good idea to tell your father-in-law how
good his daughter is in bed.
10. Men know that men are from here, and women are from way the hell over there.
Three nuns passed every day through a street that led them from Church to
a Reformatory. They noticed a parrot that stood at the entrance of a big residential
house. Every time they passed in front of that house, the bird would pronounce
three sequential colors. One day, they heard, "Yellow, blue, black." One of the
nuns noticed that those colors perfectly matched the colors of their underwear.
She mentioned her discovery to the other two nuns, but both were reluctant to
believe that could be possible. The next day, they all wore black underwear and
passed in front of the house, and very precisely the parrot spoke, "Black, black, black."
Hearing that, the three nuns were astonished. One of the nuns spoke up, "Girls,
tomorrow we are going to trick that bird." After saying that, she recommended that
the next day, none of them should be wearing any underwear under their vestments.
Respecting their agreement, the next day they wore no underwear, and proceeded
to pass in front of the parrot's house. They peeked at the bird. At the beginning,
the parrot looked a bit puzzled. He swung back and forth on the cane he was perched on.
Then, after a while, the Parrot spoke, "Straight, Straight, Curly!"
There was once a woman who owned a dog that she named Titswiggle.
One day when she came home from work she discovered that her
beloved dog had run away. She was out all night asking if anyone had seen a
loose dog. Nobody had seen him that night, but the next morning she met a little
boy who said that he had seen a stray dog. The dog he described matched hers
exactly. Upon finding out this information she asked the young boy,
"Have you seen my Titswiggle?"
Then the boy said,
"No, but can that be my reward?"
my life goal
give him a fake number
went too far
didn't sleep well last night
forgot to bring your phone
same sex relationship problems
today's society
Canadian road trips
everyone thinks you are wrong
raised by vegans
a perfect time
are you free
sorry about the mess
finally home
one more
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