Plants gone potty!: [postmanscorner] THE POSTMAN

THE POSTMAN
So, you can sleep in this morning! My favorite day of the whole year!
In the old days, I used to send out little pictures and such to remind
every one that daylight savings time ends today. These days tho, with
self adjusting clocks and self adjusting phones, it is sortof a thing
of the past. But some how, it feels good like you can pretend to sleep in
for a hour, right? Who knows, maybe someday they will get smart
and do away with the silly idea.
THE POSTMAN

Thomas and Tamara were attending a dinner party so that Thomas's mother

could meet Tamara for the first time. Towards the end of the evening, Tamara

approached Thomas and asked if there was a problem, as Thomas s mother seemed

to be avoiding her after the introduction. "Honestly, my dear," Thomas said,

"Mother finds you to be, how should I put it, a bit on the crude side." 

"Crude? Doesn't she know that I come from one of the most respected families

in Boston? That I was educated in Europe? That I attended the finest finishing

schools on the East Coast? That I attended Vassar, graduating Magna Cum Laude?"

Tamara asked."Yes, yes, my love, I told her all that," Thomas replied. 

"Then where in the fuck does that bitch come off with all that crude bullshit?"

She was so blonde...

When she drove to the airport and saw a sign that said,

"Airport Left," she turned around and went home

Money can't buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. 

Q. Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after a blonde drives a car?

A. Because she blows the horn! 

Thorn was trying real hard to get the best-looking cheerleader in school

to go out on a date with him. She finally agreed, but only on condition that he

arrange a date for her best friend too. That was fine with Thorn, but when Friday

night came around he hadn't been able to line anyone up so he asked his retarded

brother Futhman if he would help him out. "Why sure," said Futhman, "but you know,

I've never been out with a girl before." "No problem," said Thorn. "Just do everything I do."

Off the four of them go to the drive-in, and when Thorn started kissing his date,

Futhman followed suit. Soon Thorn had the cheerleader's bra undone, so Futhman undid his date's.

Next, Thorn was feeling inside her panties, but when Futhman tried to follow suit, his

date told him to quit. "Why?" asked Futhman, anxiously noting that his brother was getting

quite a head start in the front seat. "I have my period," she said.

"You're what?" "I'm bleeding down there," she explained, blushing.

"This I gotta see," said Futhman. He turned on the headlights, dragged his date out in

front of the car, and pulled down her pants.

White-faced, he said, "Hell, I'd be bleeding too, if my dick were chopped off!"

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Plants gone potty!

[postmanscorner] THE POSTMAN

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