Plants gone potty!: [postmanscorner] THE POSTMAN

THE POSTMAN

So how many of you all are out there excersizing?

Most folks on this list are probably "boomers".

So given that, there is probably a good chunk of you that

have them medicare advanta plans? That would mean a

big bunch of you probably have a gym membership? (For the

benefit of my international readers, that type of insurance

automatically gives you membership to one.) How is

that working out for you? Me, I think I need to find

another gym. I want to find one where you can just

drop your body off and come back and pick it up when

you are done.
EN JOY THE JOKES!

Q: Why do so many brides get crow's feet as soon as they are married?

A: From squinting and saying: "Suck what?"

Q. Why do men pay more for car insurance?

A. Because women don't get blow jobs while they're driving.

Two men were in the pub discussing their latest sexual conquests.

The first man says he picked up this girl last week and they agreed to go

back to his house and have sex.

Once in the house the girl stripped off her clothes, lay down on the bed with

legs apart and panted, "I want you to give me twelve inches and make me bleed."

The second man not for one moment believed his friend was that well-hung, asked what he did.

"Well" he says, "What could I do - I laid her twice and smacked her in the face!" 

Two nuns, Sister Marilyn and Sister Helen, are traveling through Europe in their car.

They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a diminutive Dracula jumps onto the hood of the car

and hisses through the windshield.

"Quick, quick", shouts Sister Marilyn. "What shall we do"?

"Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the abomination". says Sister Helen .

Sister Marilyn switches the wipers on, knocking Dracula about, but he clings on and

continues hissing at the nuns.

"Now what"? shouts Sister Marilyn.

"Show him your cross", says Sister Helen.

"Now you're talking", says Sister Marilyn as she opens the window and shouts.....

"GET THE FUCK OFF THE CAR!!!!!!!"

Two hookers were on a street corner.

They started discussing business, and one of the hookers said,

"Gonna be a good night, I smell cock in the air."

The other hooker looked at her and said, "No, I just burped."

Top 10 things a man would do if he woke up in the morning with a Vagina: 

10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers. 

9. Squat over a hand mirror for an hour and a half. 

8. See if they could finally do a split. 

7. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch. 

6. Get picked up in a bar in less that 10 minutes 

5. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more 

without sleeping first. 

4. Go to the gyno and ask to have the examination recorded on video. 

3. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts, too. 

2. Actually catch a buzz off 1 wine cooler. 

And the # 1 thing a man would do is: 

1. Finally find that damn G-spot. 

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Plants gone potty!

[postmanscorner] THE POSTMAN

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