THE POSTMAN
When I was a teenager, disco came out, and I gave up
on rock n roll in favor of country music. Obviously,
I prefer a more classic country music, you know,
Willie Nelson, Johnny Cash, etc? I
have never been a big fan of folks like Dan and Shay.
Now if you are not familiar, they have been burning
the country charts like crazy of late. In particular,
one song, '10 thousand hrs', has been going strong ...
and I just realized, You know they have Justin Beiber
doing the vocals on that one? Yep, Justin is on the
Country charts these days!!!! 3 thoughts:
#1 I am pretty sure old
#2 Willie is rolling over in his grave right now
#3 Maybe I should reconsider disco?
ENJOY THE JOKES
A husband asks his wife, 'If I should die first would you marry again?'
'I would be heart-broken, of course,' was her reply, 'but I think eventually
I would remarry.' 'But you wouldn't bring him here to our house?' 'Why not? I've
worked and slaved to make this house a home. There is no reason to abandon it.'
'But you wouldn't sleep in our bed?' 'Well, I wouldn't run out and buy a new bed
right away.' 'Surely, you wouldn't let him use my golf clubs?'
'Of course not! He's left-handed!'
Three engineers and three accountants were traveling by train to a conference.
At the station, the three accountants each bought tickets and watched as the three engineers
bought only one ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?"
asked an accountant. "Watch and you'll see", answered an engineer. They all boarded the train.
The accountants took their respective seats, but the three engineers all crammed into a rest
room and closed the door behind them. Shortly after the train departed, the conductor came around
collecting tickets. He knocked on the restroom door and said, "Ticket, please". The door
opened just a crack and a single arm emerged with a ticket in hand. The conductor took it and
moved on. The accountants saw this and agreed it was a quite clever idea. So, after the conference,
the accountants decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money (being clever with
money, and all that). When they got to the station, they bought a single ticket for the return trip.
To their astonishment, the engineers didn't buy a ticket at all. "How are you going to ride without a
ticket"? said one perplexed accountant. "Watch and you'll see", answered an engineer. When they boarded
the train, the three accountants crammed into a restroom and the three engineers crammed into another
one nearby. The train departed. Shortly afterward, one of the engineers left his restroom and walked
over to the restroom where the accountants were hiding. He knocked on the door and said, "Ticket, please."
A 55-year old man, who was born on May 5th, has been married 5 years, has 5 children,
makes $55,555.55 a year, and who's lucky number is 5, receives a phone call from a friend.
The friend informs the man that a horse named Lucky 5 will be running in the fifth race at
the local track that evening. Excitedly, the man withdraws 5,555.55 cash from his bank account,
goes to the races and bets on Lucky 5. Sure enough, the horse comes in fifth.
One summer day a man came home early from work
and was greeted by his wife
dressed in very sexy lingerie
and heels. 'Tie me up,' she purred,
'and you can do anything you want.'
So, he tied her up and went fishing.
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and requests a $5,000 dollar loan for an upcoming
trip out of the country. The bank agrees but tells her she must give them some collateral before
they give her the money. "No problem. Here's the title to my Rolls Royce, it's parked out front."
The bank gladly excepts and gives her the loan. As the blonde is leaving they all joke about how
she left such an expensive car as collateral for such a small bank loan. After a week had passed
the blonde returns to the bank to repay the loan and the interest. The interest came out to be $17.53.
The loan officer asks her "Miss, why did you need the $5,000? We checked into your account and saw
that you are a very wealthy lady." The blonde replied, "Where else in New York City can I park my
car for a week for only $17 and know that it will be there when I get back?"
ON THE WEB
break down my resistance
a very busy woman
that line is currently busy
the wrong drawer
do you believe in miracles
he is never home
bread crumbs
you don't understand
today's street musicians
are you kidding me
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