The importance of uncertainty, 100 quotes to help you write, and not being rushed as resistance βΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝβΝΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒΒ
My long season of "undoing" continues, but I am looking forward to returning in radiant new form with the podcast and a big new project in the Spring. More on that soonβ¦
In honor of Valentine's day, I wrote you an essay about love, imagination, and joy.
Let's Make Love Cool Again ββ βWherein I talk about why love needs a rebrand, how imagining bad futures creates bad futures, inspiring words from AOC, and the true source of power
I have the great good luck to do healing work with a beautiful community on a regular basis, and one of the corny realizations I find myself having again and again is this: Love is cool.
As with most insights I receive, this feels obvious on a certain level.
When it comes in, with child-like fervor, I will crawl over to someone seated near me and whisper β like I am initiating them into the secrets of a holy text I just discovered β "Guess what? LOVE IS COOL."
And they will look at me like "duh" and say: "Who doesn't think love is cool?"
Ancient Moleskine tablet.
Unfortunately, many people don't think love is cool. Including me, at times.
Take a moment to really contemplate what you think of as "cool."
Do you think being tender is cool?
Do you think being vulnerable is cool?
Do you think being open-hearted is cool?
When you tell someone you love them for the first time, is your primary worry that they might think you're too cool?
At least as far as my own conditioning goes, what is considered "cool" seems to be much more strongly associated with aloofness, detachment, flawless style, a kind of untouchableness.
Sunglasses, cigarettes, a casual lean. James Dean.
When we talk about "playing it cool," we're not talking about running out and declaring your love to someone β quite the opposite in fact.
When we choose to "play it cool," we are operating from fear. Fear that we will trot out all of our enthusiasm and our affection and our love, and that it will be rejected.
Well, I don't know about you, but I am not interested in operating from that kind of fear anymore.
And I am still meditating on this question, because choosing love (over fear) again and again and again is a deep practice β especially in this moment of polarization, chaos, and anxiety.
In her novel The Future, Naomi Alderman writes, "Imagining bad futures creates fear, and fear creates bad futures."
If we allow ourselves to operate solely from a place of fear, we are cooperating in dreaming up a future that will reflect that fear.
We have to expand our imaginations β to experiment with asking ourselves, in each moment, how we can operate from love rather than fear.
In a recent interview, Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez talked about her reaction to the release of the January 6th insurrectionists and the new administration's role in that release, saying:
I'm not going to give them my fear⦠[it's] like this monster that feeds on our terror, and what they represent are people who eat fear, they sustain themselves on anxiety, and I'm not going to give them that. These people need cynicism, they need apathy, they need chaos, they need anxiety. And the more we give them that, the bigger they get.
Later, she goes on to talk about her Puerto Rican heritage and how essential it is to find joy even in the darkest hours:
There's almost this idea that you're not allowed to be happy in the U.S. when there is suffering going onβ¦ [But] when you actually look at people who are enduring some of the deepest, most brutal regimes β they are sometimes the most conscientious about cultivating happiness, joy, gathering, music, dancing.
β
And so [what] I want people to know is⦠you're allowed to be happy... You are allowed to cultivate joy. In fact, you need to, because our job is to build the world that we want. And if we do not allow ourselves to gather with our friends, to be happy, then we are not reminding ourselves of why we're doing any of this. We cannot be joyless people.
We must begin to embody β and radiate out β the energy we want to see in the world.
In other words:
It's time to make love cool again. π
So that's my tender, vulnerable, earnest, totally corny Valentine's day message to you: Let's make love cool again.
And you can start today.
Rather than asking yourself at the end of the day: How productive was I today?
Ask yourself: How loving was I today?
Ask yourself: How much did I support and encourage the people I care about today?
Ask yourself: What are all of the loving things that I am holding back on saying?
And then say them.
We don't have to put limits on our love.
And it doesn't just have to be about romance.
I tell my friends and my dear ones I love them all the time.
As one of my wisest teachers tells me: True power is the free flow of love.
Hi, I'm Jocelyn, the human behind this newsletter. I host the Hurry Slowly podcast, teach online courses, and practice energy work. You can learn more about me at jkg.co. If you have a question, you can always feel free to hit reply. π€
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