Thank you for your presence. As I mentioned in a recent podcast, I would not be writing this missive — or likely writing much at all — without you as my witness.
Knowing that you are reading my words, anticipating that sense of engagement and connection, and feeling that we are all in this mixed-up, crazy universe together — honestly keeps me going.
Especially when the cosmic energies get a little wild.
We are currently knee-deep in eclipse season with a Mercury retrograde on top, so I hope you are keeping your wits about you — and if not — I am sending you some easeful, grounding vibes.
(More details on the current astro situation here.)
So far, I am experiencing these energies as an invitation to explore my power as a storyteller — particularly with regard to the stories that are on loop inside my own mind.
I'm contemplating how I might toss my predilection for worst-case scenarios to the wind and tell those stories in new, more expansive, more generative ways. I'm contemplating how I can send love letters to my anxiety so that I can alchemize it into inspiration — or maybe even art.
There is so much power in using our imaginations to reframe our experiences.
And/also — it takes practice to understand how to bridge that gap between what we can imagine and what we can actually embody. Between what we wish to create and what we have the skill to create.
I explore the discomfort of that gap — in creativity and in consciousness — in this week's essay below.
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In other news, I will be hosting a free "sample session" for anyone interested in KILN, my new creative incubator, this coming Tuesday, April 9th from 4-5pm EST.
KILN is all about helping folks build fire and momentum around their creative ideas through a blend of alchemy coaching, co-creation sessions, and deep-dive retreat days — all led by yours truly.
If you're curious about KILN but need more intel before committing, the sample session will be a sweet little taste of how we'll gather to spark that creative fire.
The structure of the sample session will be:
1) An opening journal prompt - 5 min
2) A brief spark meditation - 10 min
3) A short co-creation sprint - 20 min
4) Time for questions about KILN and/or alchemy coaching - 20 min
If you'd like to attend, please bring your journal and a creative project, idea, or question that you would like to work on for 20 minutes — as well as any questions you may have about KILN!
And if you're ready to commit to your creativity right now...
Registration for KILN — a catalyst, a sacred container, and a community for creative folks — is now open.
As a special bonus for my lovely newsletter readers, I'm extending the early-bird special a few more days. You can use the code "10OFFFIRE" to save 10% if you register by this Sunday, April 7th.
In an online course that I was exploring, Richard Rudd writes: The more aware you become, the more you will have to forgive yourself.
I am finding this statement to be deeply, uncomfortably true.
Because — the more my own awareness increases, the more I can "see" all of the ways in which I am behaving that are misaligned or ungenerous. And then the more I am required to forgive myself for those behaviors as I continue to witness myself doing them again and again.
Change is — alas — not instantaneous. Which means that an increase in consciousness is often uncomfortable. Because then you can see the Gap, you can feel the Gap — between the way you are actually behaving and the way that you would prefer to be behaving.
It's similar to the gap that Ira Glass talks about in the realm of creativity:
Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap.
For the first couple years you make stuff, it's just not that good. It's trying to be good, it has potential, but it's not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you.
A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn't have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this.
And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work.
Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions.
So, too, it is with consciousness.
You can imagine what it would be like to act in a way that is more fully aligned, but there's this Gap — and, despite your best efforts, you can't quite operate at the new level yet.
And, as with creativity, feeling into that gap is painful.
And, as with creativity, the only solution is to do the work. To put in the practice. To try and try again.
Our mental patterns get into grooves after years of operating in a certain way, and it takes a lot of practice to rewire those neurons into a new pathway. It takes confronting that idea or that behavior in a million different permutations, and each time, trying to make a different choice — trying to choose the new path.
And, of course, sometimes — probably many times — you fail. You weren't tuned in, you were operating on auto-pilot, you got triggered, and you took the same old path you always take.
Oops.
And that's where you come to another fork in the road, where you have another new choice to make.
Do you then critique yourself, and make yourself suffer further, for having acted (again) from the old pattern?
Or do you choose forgiveness?
I must admit, I am not very good at choosing forgiveness. I am fairly good at offering it to others, but much less skilled at offering it to myself.
Sometimes I joke with my brother that this impulse to add another layer of critique (rather than forgiveness) is like an ill-advised, spiritual twist on 2FA — you know, the thing you use to keep your Gmail or your bank account extra secure by having it text you an additional login code?
I think of my version of what Buddhist's might call the "second arrow" as "two-factor self-flagellation" or 2FSF.
It's like a second chance to make absolutely sure that you feel bad for not having made a better choice. Really locking in that suffering to make sure that you don't miss out! 😂 👀
On my desk: Eau de Forgiveness, a complex scent.
Pain, too, is a pattern.
And, for some of us, maybe a habit.
As any habit-change-obsessed person will tell you, a "habit loop" consists of three parts: 1) the cue, 2) the routine or the action, and 3) the reward.
But I think that for those of us with wily, over-anxious brains, the wiring can get a little mixed up sometimes. And what happens is that the pain, or the suffering, becomes the reward.
For me, drinking alcohol in my 20s and 30s was a prime example. The self-recrimination that I would pile onto myself the day after I drank too much was a crucial part of the habit loop. The most crucial part, in my opinion.
I drank to let off steam and find release — like many people do — but also to activate that final step of self-recrimination and regret.
All of which, I can see now, was a subconscious way of suppressing my self-expression by lowering my overall vibration and vitality. Thus, ensuring that I would never bridge that creative gap that Ira Glass describes.
It was only when I was able to offer myself forgiveness instead of self-recrimination that I could even start to begin to unwind from the toxic pattern I was caught up in.
Years later, forgiveness — of others, of the self — feels even more urgent as my awareness increases.
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Inside our minds, inside our creative processes, inside this beautiful, disastrous mess that is our world… forgiveness is a first step to bridging that painful gap.
The gap between the suffering we are experiencing and the healing we yearn for, between the skillfulness you now possess and the thing you want to create or embody, between what is and what could be—
The power of changing your mind. Continuing to pull the thread of forgiveness, this is a beautiful essay from writer & poet Hala Alyan on "cognitive flexibility" — what it costs us, and what we gain: "The pathway towards normalizing changing an individual's mind hinges upon practices of collective redemption and contrition. A society that doesn't know how to apologize well — that doesn't know how to forgive well — will understandably not have many blueprints for changing its mind."
All creativity happens in relationship. In a new episode of Hurry Slowly, I explore how my relationship to creativity has evolved, why the myth of the lone creative genius is so damaging, and how all of that feeds into my new project, a collective space for creativity.
The downside of our 2020 amnesia. A fascinating episode of the Offline podcast with Jon Favreau and Eric Klinenberg, unpacking how Covid year #1 reshaped our politics, unveiled cracks in our society, and transformed the ways we live, work, and interact with each other.
"I would rather wonder than know." A charming conversation between writer Austin Kleon and the poet Mary Ruefle about art, life, and creativity — conducted entirely on typewriters.
Macro vs micro perspectives. An incredible 3-min movie that zooms from human-size out into the massive cosmos and then back to the level of elementary particles. (As a friend & I discussed: This would be much better if it wasn't from the perspective of a white person at Google — the center of the universe LOL — but it's still pretty wow-y.)
Let it all out. My wise and talented friend Sebene Selassie is hosting a 3-week-long workshop on cultivating mourning practices for releasing grief. There's no one I would trust more in this tender space.
Ramy Youssef's new special More Feelings and Hannah Gadsby's comedy showcase Gender Agenda are both fantastic.
Book an energy session with me to open your heart and reconnect to your deepest wisdom.
Are you ready for an energetic tune-up? My energy practice focuses on coming back into the body, opening the heart, leaning into self-expression, and cultivating deeper awareness and self-trust. It's particularly well-suited to those looking to get into deeper touch with their purpose, creativity, or intuition.
From a recent client: "I loved the work I did with Jocelyn in so many ways. I was navigating a tremendous amount of change and the work we did together allowed me to feel grounded, centered, and empowered. I felt like I was able to return to a wisdom and intuition that I knew was lying under the surface and was able to unlock a part of me that I did not have access to."
Hi, I'm Jocelyn, the human behind this newsletter. I host the Hurry Slowly podcast, teach online courses, and practice energy work through the Light Heart Project. You can learn more about me at jkg.co. If you have a question, you can always feel free to hit reply. 🤓
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