Plants gone potty!: [postmanscorner] THE POSTMAN

THE POSTMAN

BREAKING NEWS:

In order to cover the costs of the impeachment trial,

the democrats are now offering the following funding:

Be sure to purchase your penholder today!

Enjoy the Jokes!

When all of the sudden in the midst of a particularly moving segment, he hears a

loud, uproarious sneeze coming from amongst the crowd. Stalin stops

speaking, glares at the soldiers, becomes very visibly annoyed, and says

"Who sneezed?..."All of the soldiers don't say anything, some of them start to

sweat and others nervously glance around. After a brief moment Stalin

motions towards a few soldiers with him on the stage. "Execute the first row..."

he commands, and the soldiers on stage begin opening fire at the first row of

troops on the ground."I'll ask again, who sneezed?" says Stalin. Another pause,

and no one speaks up. Finally Stalin says "Execute the..." but before he can

finish, a soldier about 4 rows back raises his hand and says "It was me General

Secretary Stalin! I'm the one who sneezed."Stalin then stares cold and hard at the

soldier who spoke up for an uncomfortable amount of time, before he leans

towards his microphone and says "Bless you."

In my defense, toupee and teepee sound similar

“I’ve been taking night courses for five months now, and I have an exam next

week.” Said my neighbor Mike.

Mike: “For example, do you know who Euclid is?”
Me: “No.”
Mike: “He is the father of geometry. If you take night courses you would know this.”
The next day the same discussion took place:
Mike: “Do you know who Alexander Dumas is?”
Me: “No.”

Mike: “He is the author of The 3 Musketeers. If you took night courses you

would know this.”

Now this time I got irritated and said, “And do you know who Steven Turner is?”
Mike: “No.”

Me: “He is the guy sleeping with your wife! If you stopped night classes you

would know this!”

you me the sunset what more
could a person want?
A blow job

The staff at a local United Way office realized that it had never received a

donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of

contributions called him to persuade him to contribute and said, "Our research

shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to

charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?" The lawyer

mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show

that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several

times her annual income?" Embarrassed, the United Way representative mumbled,

"Um... No." "Or," the lawyer continued, "that my brother, a disabled veteran, is

blind and confined to a wheelchair?" The stricken United Way representative

began to stammer out an apology but was interrupted when the lawyer added,

"Or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising

in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?" The humiliated

United Way representative, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..."

On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to them,

why should I give any to you?

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Plants gone potty!

[postmanscorner] THE POSTMAN

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