Plants gone potty!: [postmanscorner] THE POSTMAN

THE POSTMAN

So, old man winter is here, right?
The weather looks frightful out there indeed.
Funny thing about that. Seems like people forget
how to drive when winter first gets here. Four wheel
drive folks out there especially. It ain't gonna help
you on the ice. So be careful out there, people.
Give yourself a few extra minutes to arrive
safely or if you have to, be a little late. Better than
the alternative.

Q: Why can't blondes make ice cubes?
A: They always forget the recipe.

"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."
"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I didn't go shopping, all the dishes
are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking fancy meal!"
"I know all that."
"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"
"Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."

Lewis walks into a psychologist's office wearing a dancer's tutu with a
parrot on his head and a cocktail onion stuffed up each nostril.
The psychologist, humoring him, asks, "What seems to be the problem?"
Lewis answers, "Well, Doc, I'm worried about my brother..."

A couple I know were discussing their wallpaper, which had just been hung.
Dave was annoyed at Debby's indifference to what he felt was a poor job.
"The problem is that I'm a perfectionist and you're not," he finally said to her.
"Exactly!" she replied. "That's why you married me and I married you!"

A little girl and a little boy were at day care. The girl approaches the boy and says,
"Hey Tommy, wanna play house?"
He says, "Sure! What do you want me to do?"
The girl replies, "I want you to communicate your thoughts."
"Communicate my thoughts?" said a bewildered Tommy. "I have no idea what that means."
The little girl smirks and says, "Perfect. You can be the husband."

Three woman always hang their laundry out in the backyard. When it rains, however
the laundry always gets wet. All the laundry, that is, except for Sophie's.
The other two women wonder why Sophie never has her laundry out on the days that it rains.
So one day they are all out in the backyard putting clothes on the line when one of the women
says to Sophie, "Say how come when it rains, your laundry is never out?"
Well," says Sophie, " when I wake up in the morning, I look over at Saul. If his penis is
hanging over his right leg, I know it's going to be a great day, and I can hang out the wash.
If his penis is hanging over his left leg, I know it's going to rain, so I don't hang out the wash."
"What if he has an erection?" asks one of the women.
"Honey," says Sophie, "on a day like that, you don't do the laundry!"

A boy from Duluth, Minnesota named Lars had heard stories of an amazing family tradition.
It seem that his father, grandfather and great grandfather had all been able to walk on water on
their 21st birthdays, to the boat club across the lake for their first legal drink.
So when Lars' 21st came around, he and his pal Sven took a boat out to the middle of the lake.
Lars stepped out of the boat and nearly drowned. Sven managed to pull him to safety.
Furious and confused, Lars went to see his grandmother.
"Grandma," he asked, "it's my 21st birthday, so why can't I walk across the lake like my father,
his father, and his father before him?"
Granny looked into Lars' eyes and said, "Because your father, grandfather and great-grandfather
were born in January. You were born in July."

the worst part

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snacking in between

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brains

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facebook deleted it

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this little fish

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draw the image

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