welcome to:
THE POSTMAN!
You know, it is funny. After you are married, for so
many years, a lot of people say that their perception
of their spouse changes over time? Has your wife's
opinion of you changed? Or is it different?
Not my wife tho. I mean its like this,
I walk by and you know what she says? "What an ass."
Same thing she used to say when I was 22!
Wow. guess that means I am still as sexy as I was
in my 20s, right?
Enjoy the jokes!
________________________________
There was once a woman who owned a dog that she named Titswiggle.
One day when she came home from work she discovered that her
beloved dog had run away.
She was out all night asking if anyone had seen a loose dog.
Nobody had seen him that night, but the next morning she met a little boy who
said that he had seen a stray dog.
The dog he described matched hers exactly. Upon finding out this
information she asked the young boy,
"Have you seen my Titswiggle?"
Then the boy said,
"No, but can that be my reward?"
What did the blonde do when she broke her Tupperware?
Called the plastic surgeon.
A blind man and his guide dog enter a bar and find their
way to a barstool. After ordering a drink, and sitting there for a while,
the blind guy yells to the bartender,
"Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet.
In a husky, deep voice, the woman next to him says,
"Before you tell that joke, you should know something.
The bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde and I'm a 6'tall,
200 pound blonde with a black belt in karate.
What's more, the woman sitting next to me is blonde and she's a weightlifter.
The lady to your right is a blonde, and she's a pro wrestler.
Think about it seriously, mister. You still wanna tell that blonde joke?"
The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
My friend wanted a boat more than anything. His wife kept refusing,
but he bought one anyway. "I'll tell you what," he told her.
"In the spirit of compromise, why don't you name the boat?"
Being a good sport, she accepted. When her husband went to the dock
for his maiden voyage,
this is the name he saw painted on the side: "For Sale."
A mother asked her small son what he would like for his birthday.
"I'd like a little brother," a boy said.
"Oh my, that's such a big wish," said the mother. Why do you want a little brother"?
"Well," said the boy, "there's only so much I can blame on my dog."
ONT THE WEB
the dog
all I'm saying
a little fun
ain't no sunshine
the billboard
kinky
texting
you're really hot
a hangover
plumbing school
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