THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
If someone is talking behind your back they
are in a good position to KISS YOUR ASS!!!
~Bev MacNeil~
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Be sure to get your taxes done today, if you have not
already done so. This is your last chance without filing
for an extension. Altho for us USA citizens the normal due
date is April 15th. This year is different. Tax day cannot
fall on a Sunday, or a holiday.
The extra break was granted because April 15 is a
Sunday this year, and Monday is Emancipation Day, a
holiday in Washington D.C. celebrating the freeing of
slaves in the district. Under the tax code, filing deadlines
can't fall on Saturdays, Sundays or holidays. So, 2 extra
days for you! Ain't the IRS grand?
By the way...
When a doctor falls ill,
another doctor doctors the doctor.
Does the doctor doctoring the doctor
doctor the doctor in his own way, or does
the doctor doctoring the doctor doctor
the doctor in the doctored
doctor's way?
SO confused,
We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
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THE COMICS
I know doctor
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h001.html
C'mon guys
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h002.html
very proud
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h003.html
public display
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h004.html
after my divorce
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h005.html
________________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
David Copperfield - America's Got Talent - Don't Believe Your Eyes
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1611.html
My Name is America by Todd Allen Herendeen- The Official Patriotic Anthem-Super!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1612.html
Two men were having coffee, when one of them said: "Last night, my son
just walked into the living room and said, `Dad, cancel my allowance
immediately, rent my room out, throw all my clothes out of the window,
take my TV, stereo, iPhone, iPod, and my laptop. Please give my jewelry
to the Salvation Army or Goodwill. Then sell my car. Take my front door
key away from me and throw me out of the house. Then disown me and never
talk to me again. And don't forget to write me out of your will and
leave my share to my brother.'"
The other man said: "Wow, he really said that?"
"Well, he didn't put it quite that way. He actually said ...
`Dad, I've decided to work for Obama's re-election campaign.'"
__________________
Tiger turns to Stevie Wonder and says, "How's the singing career going?"
Stevie replies, "Not too bad. How's the golf?"
Woods replies, "Not too bad, I've had some problems
with my swing, but I think I've got that right, now."
Stevie: "I always find that when my swing goes wrong,
I need to stop playing for a while and not think about it.
Then, the next time I play, it seems to be all right."
Incredulous, Tiger says, "You play GOLF?"
Stevie: "Yes, I've been playing for years."
Tiger: "But -- you're blind! How can you play golf if you can't see?"
Stevie: "Well, I get my caddy to stand in the middle of the fairway and call to me.
I listen for the sound of his voice and play the ball towards him.
Then, when I get to where the ball lands, the caddy moves to the
green or farther down the fairway and again I play the ball towards his voice."
"But, how do you putt" asks Tiger.
"Well", says Stevie, "I get my caddy to lean down in front of the
hole and call to me with his head on the ground and I just play the ball towards his voice."
Tiger: "What's your handicap?"
Stevie: "Well, actually -- I'm a scratch golfer."
Woods, incredulous, says to Stevie, "We've got to play a round sometime."
Stevie: "Well, people don't take me seriously, so I only play for money,
and never play for less than $10,000 a hole. Is that a problem?"
Woods thinks about it and says, "I can afford that; OK, I'm game for that..
$10,000 a hole is fine with me. When would you like to play?"
Stevie: "Pick a night."
_________________
An Irishman goes into the confessional box after years of being away
from the Church. He is amazed to find a fully equipped bar with
Guinness on tap. On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest
cigars and chocolates in the world.
When the priest comes in, the Irishman excitedly begins..."Father,
forgive me, for it's been a very long time since I've been to
confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much
more inviting than it used to be."
The priest replies,
"Get out. You're on my side."
__________________
One night at the dinner table, the wife commented, "When we were
first married, you took the small piece of steak and gave me the
larger. Now you take the large one and leave me the smaller.
You don't love me any more?"
"Nonsense, darling," replied the husband, "you just cook better now."
______________
A 50-something year old Muslim man arrived at his seat on a crowded
flight and immediately didn't want the seat. The seat was next
to an elderly white woman reading her Bible.
Disgusted, the Muslim man immediately summoned the flight attendant
and demanded a new seat. The man said "I cannot sit here next to
this infidel." The flight attendant said "Let me see if I can find another seat."
After checking, the flight attendant returned and stated "There are
no more seats in economy, but I will check with the captain and
see if there is something in first class."
About 10 minutes went by and the flight attendant returned and
stated "The captain has confirmed that there are no more seats in
economy, but there is one in first class. It is our company policy
to never move a person from economy to first class, but being that
it would be some sort of scandal to force a person to sit next to
an UNPLEASANT person, the captain agreed to make the switch to first class."
Before the irate Muslim man could say anything, the attendant
gestured to the elderly woman and said, "Therefore ma'am, if you
would so kindly retrieve your personal items, we would like to
move you to the comfort of first class as the captain doesn't
want you to sit next to an unpleasant person."
Passengers in the seats nearby began to applaud while some gave a standing ovation.
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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