THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
God had one son on earth without sin,
but never one without suffering.
St. Augustine
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Ah, the weather! It is gorgeous!!! Not quite
as great as last week, when temps reached
between 70 and 80 all week long. But mid 60s
for this week is nothing to sneeze at for
beautiful West Michigan. The war department's
tulips, crockosees, and various other species
I cannot spell are well on the way of bloomering,
or whatever flowers do. This is the time of
year when I really miss my motorcycle, which I
gave up a couple years ago becuz of health.
Speaking of which keep a watchful eye, they are hard
to see and out in droves right now. The
weather turns nice, a man wants to get outside,
whether its the excuse of a motorcycle, fishin rod,
or etc...doesn't matter. 20 years ago this is when
I would go downtown during lunchhour, the pedestrian
mall would fill at lunch time with secretaries coming
out to buy hotdogs in their lil see thru blouses, and
college girls walking around in their halter tops and
Daisy dukes. There were tons of sidewalk vendors then on
that street mall and it was kindof a nifty place to hang
out. The war department never did figure out
why I had to go to the chiropractor so much,at that time
of year. always got a sore neck turning left and right
looking at the afternoon scenery. hehehe
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
______________
THE COMICS
your nose
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f011.html
talk about sex
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f012.html
my girlfriend
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f013.html
hold on
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f014.html
work out
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f015.html
___________________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Annabel Carberry in "A Glass of Red"
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1584.html
2 year old dancing the jive
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1585.html
Defense Attorney:
Will you please state your age?
Little Old Lady:
I am 86 years old.
Defense Attorney:
Will you tell us, in your own words,
what happened the night of April 1st?
Little Old Lady:
There I was, sitting there in my swing
on my front porch on a warm spring evening,
when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.
Defense Attorney:
Did you know him?
Little Old Lady:
No, but he sure was friendly.
Defense Attorney:
What happened after he sat down?
Little Old Lady:
He started to rub my thigh.
Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him?
Little Old Lady:
No, I didn't stop him.
Defense Attorney:
Why not?
Little Old Lady:
It felt good. Nobody had done that since
my Albert died some 20 years ago.
Defense Attorney:
What happened next?
Little Old Lady:
He began to rub my breasts.
Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him then?
Little Old Lady:
No, I did not stop him.
Defense Attorney:
Why not?
Little Old Lady:
His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited.
I haven't felt that good in years!
Defense Attorney:
What happened next?
Little Old Lady:
Well, by then, I was feeling so "spicy" that I
just laid down and told him "Take me, young man. Take me now!"
Defense Attorney:
Did he take you?
Little Old Lady:
Hell, no! He just yelled,
"April Fool!" And that's when I shot the bastard.
________________
A Girl Potato and Boy Potato had eyes for each other,
And finally they got married, and had a little sweet
Potato, which they Called 'Yam.'
Of course, they wanted the best for Yam.
When it was time, they told her about the facts Of life.
They warned her about going Out and getting
Half-baked, so she wouldn't get accidentally mashed,
and Get a bad name for herself like 'Hot Potato,' and
End up with a bunch of tater tots
Yam said not to worry, no Spud would get Her into the
sack and make a rotten potato out of her!
But on the other hand she wouldn't stay home and
become a Couch Potato either.
She would get plenty of exercise so as not to be skinny
like her shoestring cousins. When she went off to
Europe , Mr. And Mrs. Potato told Yam To watch out
For the hard-boiled guys from Ireland and the greasy
guys from France called the French fries. And
When she went out West, to
Watch out for the Indians so she wouldn't get scalloped...
Yam said she would stay on the straight and
Narrow and wouldn't associate with
Those high class Yukon Golds, or the ones from the other side
of the tracks who advertise their trade on all The trucks that say,
'Frito Lay.'
Mr. And Mrs. Potato sent Yam to Idaho PU. (that's
Potato University ) so that when she graduated she'd really be in the Chips.
But in spite of all they did for
Her, one-day Yam came home
And announced she was
Going to marry Tom Brokaw.
Tom Brokaw!
Mr. And Mrs.
Potato were very upset
They told Yam she couldn't
Possibly marry Tom Brokaw because he's just.......
a COMMONTATER
_________________
After Sunday mass, a little boy named Rocco told Father O'Reilly,
"When I grow up, I'm going to give you some money."
"Well, thank you," Father O'Reilly replied. "But why?"
"Because," little Rocco responded, "my nonna says you're one of
the poorest preachers we've ever had."
_______________
At the banquet of their 25th wedding anniversary, Tom was asked
to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration.
"Tell us, Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?"
Tom responds, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all.
It teaches you loyalty, forbearance, meekness, self-restraint, forgiveness
and a great many other qualities you wouldn't have needed if you'd stayed single!
________________
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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