THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
Happiness consists of living each day as if it
were the first day of your honeymoon and
the last day of your vacation.
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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Ten Rules for the Good Life
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.
Never trouble another for what you can do yourself.
Never spend your money before you have it.
Never buy what you do not want because it is cheap; it will never be dear to you.
Pride costs us more than hunger, thirst, and cold.
Never repent of having eaten too little.
Nothing is troublesome that we do willingly.
Don't let the evils which have never happened cost you pain.
Always take things by their smooth handle.
When angry, count to ten before you speak; if very angry, count to one hundred.
(This is a list of "Thomas Jefferson's ten rules for the good life)
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
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THE COMICS
tell me
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f026.html
the look
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f027.html
the evolution of man
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f028.html
too gorgeous
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f029.html
normally
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/f030.html
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LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
When You're Holding a Hammer (Everything Looks Like a Nail)
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1591.html
Are you lonesome tonight (Senior Citizen Version)
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1592.html
A farmer went to town to buy a pickup truck that he saw advertised in the
paper for a certain price. After telling the salesman which truck he wanted,
they sat down to do the paperwork. The salesman handed the farmer the bill,
and the farmer declared, "This isn't the price I saw!" The salesman went on
to tell the wise old farmer how he was getting extras such as power brakes,
power windows, special tires etc. And that was what took the price up. The
farmer needed the truck badly, paid the price and went home.
A few months later, the salesman called up the farmer and said, "My son is
in 4-H and he needs a cow for a project. Do you have any for sale?" The
farmer said, "Yes, I have a few cows, and I would sell for $500.00 apiece.
Come look at them and take your pick." The salesman said he and his son
would be right out. After spending a few hours in the field checking out all
the farmer's cows, the two decided on one and the salesman proceeded to
write out a check for $500.00.
The farmer said--------"Now, wait a minute, that's not the final price of
the cow. You're getting extras with it and you have to pay for that too."
"What extras?" asked the salesman.
Below is the list the farmer gave the salesman for the final price of the cow.
BASIC COW..................................$500.00
Two tone exterior..........................$45.00
Extra stomach...............................$75.00
Product storing equipment.............$60.00
Straw compartment.......................$120.00
4 Spigots @$10 ea........................$40.00
Leather upholstery........................$125.00
Dual horns....................................$45.00
Automatic fly swatter.....................$38.00
Fertilizer attachment......................$185.00
GRAND TOTAL...............................$1,233.00
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This is the story of the blonde flying in a two-seater airplane with just the pilot.
He has a heart attack and dies. She, frantic, calls out a May Day.
"May Day! May Day! Help me! Help me! My pilot had a heart attack and is dead.
And I don't know how to fly. Help me! Please help me!"
She hears a voice over the radio saying:
"This is Air Traffic Control and I have you loud and clear. I will talk you through this and
Get you back on the ground. I've had a lot of experience with this kind of problem.
'Now, just take a deep breath. Everything will be fine! Now give me your height and position."
She says, "I'm 5'4" and I'm in the front seat and I am a democrat."
"O.K." says the voice on the radio.... "Repeat after me: Our Father. . Who art in Heaven. . . .."
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"Muffin, I feel like making love tonight."
"Okay, I will let you, but be gentle this time."
"But I am always gentle with you, Dearest."
"That's not true. The last time, you woke me up twice!"
THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
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