[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

 
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THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
where the world goes for its daily dose of humor!
(made in the USA)

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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
 
 


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We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

THE COMICS

family circle
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/o027.html
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
the 50th
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/o036.html

Would you like to take a break from your hectic life?  Rejuvenate your 
aching body and center your mind with the relaxing aromatherapy products 
from Bath & Body Works(R).  Get your FREE $500 Gift Card today! 
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LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
 
 
 
 
 
 "OLD" IS WHEN ... Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs
    and make love," and you answer, "Pick one; I can't do both!"
 
 "OLD" IS WHEN ... Your friends compliment you on your
 new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.
 
"OLD" IS WHEN ... A sexy babe catches your fancy and
   your pacemaker opens the garage door.
 
"OLD" IS WHEN ... Going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
 
"OLD" IS WHEN ... You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long
   as you don't have to go along.
 
"OLD" IS WHEN ... You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor
   instead of by the police.
 
"OLD" IS WHEN ."Getting a little action" means you don't need to
   take any fiber today.
 
"OLD" IS WHEN ... "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the
   parking lot.
_______________
 
Two blonde guys were in the woods, hunting. One looked at the other and
said, "I've got to take a crap."
The other said, "Well go behind one of those big trees, and crap."
The first one said, "But I don't have any paper to wipe with."
The other blonde replied, "You have a dollar, don't you?"
The first one said, "Yeah, I've got a dollar. That's a great idea--I'll
use that!"He left and came back with crap all over his hands and clothes. His
friend looked at him and asked, "What in the hell happened to you?"
The first one replied, "Have you ever tried to wipe your ass with 3
quarters, 2 dimes, and a nickel?"
________________
 
Three small boys were bragging about their fathers.
The first boasted that his dad owned a farm.  The
second said his dad owned a factory.  The third boy,
a pastors son, replied: "That's nothin'.  My dad owns hell."
No way," another boy scoffed.  "How can a man own hell?"
"Sure he can," the preacher's son said.  "My mom told
my grandma that them elders of our church gave it to
him last night."
_______________
 
Mother Superior heard one say to the other, "I think
she got out of the wrong side of the bed this morning."
This startled Mother Superior, but she chose not to
pursue the issue.
A little further down the hall, Mother Superior passed
two of the Sisters who had been teaching at the convent
for several years. She greeted them with, "Good morning
Sister Martha, Sister Jessica, may God give you wisdom
for our students today."
"Good morning, Mother Superior. Thank you, and may God
be with you."
But again, after passing, Mother Superior
overheard, "She got out of the wrong side of bed today."
Baffled, she started to wonder if she had spoken harshly,
or with an irritated look on her face.
She vowed to be more pleasant.
Looking down the hall, Mother Superior saw retired Sister
Mary approaching, step by step, with her walker.
As Sister Mary was rather deaf, Mother Superior had
plenty of time to arrange a pleasant smile on her face,
before greeting Sister Mary.
"Good morning, Sister Mary. I'm so happy to see you up
and about. I pray God watches over you today, and grants
you a wonderful day."
"Ah, Good morning, Mother Superior, and thank you. I see
you got up on the wrong side of bed this morning."
Mother Superior was floored!
"Sister Mary, what have I done wrong? I have tried to be
pleasant, but three times already today, people have said
that about me."Sister Mary stopped her walker, and looked Mother Superior
in the face."Oh, don't take it personal, Mother Superior. It's just
that you're wearing Father Murphy's slippers."
__________________
 
A nosey neighbour remonstrated with
the woman in the adjoining apartment.
"Mrs. Smith, do you think it is right that
a seventeen-year-old  boy spends three
hours every night in your apartment?"
Mrs. Smith replied, "It's a platonic friendship.
It's play for him and a tonic for me."
______________
 
The doctor tells a male patient that he has a case of
venereal disease.
The man replies "That is impossible, I haven't been with
anyone recently. I must have caught it off a toilet seat".
Doctor says, " in that case you must have been chewing it
because you have got it in your gums!!
______________

BUFFALO'S
Movies
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman







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