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FREE BOOK AND CD!!!!
HELLO from Bruce A. Berman!
One reason I've been blessed with so much success in my life is: I DON'T GIVE UP. It's why I am able to help thousands become successful. And I'm not giving up on you, either.
I know how it is because I've been there, too.
Before we go any further, there's something I need to make perfectly clear. I wasn't born rich. I'm not well educated. I barely finished high school and I didn't go to college.
Yes, by any standard, I've done very well for myself. But I also know what it's like to struggle because I've been there, too
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If you own stock in the Charmin corperation, you most likely saw a
dramatic increase in the worth of your shares. I am quite sure this
is a direct result of the "Montezuma's revenge" That I suffered through
this weekend and for the last few days. Yesterday seemed to be the
culmination of my travails and suffering. After sleeping all day,
I finally rolled out of bed around 2 in the afternoon. and then proceeded
to plop down in the lazy boy for the rest of the day. I 'passed' on
"the war department's" pizza for dinner, and dined on beef broth and
a couple pieces of white toast instead. Finally, by about
10 pm last night, I decided that I was not going to die, but was also
wondering if it would not have been better if I had. This morning, after having slept about 17 out of the last 24 hours, I discovered that I could probably spend more time sitting in my computer chair than on the porcelain throne. When I logged onto my computer to read mail, I found your well wishes to be as numerous as the sands on the beach. My thanks to all who wrote to express their well wishes. And I hope you enjoy today's follies!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
FREE!!!!!
Graphic Text: Make your text come alive!
ECards: Egreetings for every event or occasion
Winks: Cool animated graphics to share with your friends
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THE COMICS
Bob was an idiot
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/p001. html what kinda present is that?
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/p002. html interpretation
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/p004. html the suicide
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/p005. html no no nurse
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/p006. html 6.2 seconds
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/p007. html never play fetch in the nude
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/p008. html tomorrow morning
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/p010. html
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LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
thank god I'm a country boy
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/da/movies874 .html Frosty the pervert
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/da/movies877 .html Chipmunks roasting on an open fire
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Someone said that there are two kinds of people
in the world. There are those who wake up in the morning
and say, "Good morning, Lord," and there are those who
wake up in the morning saying, "Good Lord, it's morning."
_______________ Jill was using a power strip to plug her computer and other devices into.
Windows was completely frozen, and she was unable to shut down the machine by using the power button. She phoned for computer help and mentioned the power strip to tech support. The tech told her to flip it off.
Jill said, "Ok, I gave it the finger. I feel much better. Now what do I do?"
________________ She had been thinking about coloring her hair. One day while going through a magazine, she came across an ad for a hair coloring product featuring a beautiful young model with hair a shade that she liked. Wanting a second opinion, she asked her husband,
"How do you think this color would look on a face with a few wrinkles?"
He looked at the picture, crumbled it up, straightened it out and studied it again. "Just great, hon."
___________________ Santa without his Prozac
Dear Santa,
I've written you for three years now asking for a fire truck. Please, I really really want a fire truck this year!Love, JoeyDear Joey,
Let me make it up to you Christmas Eve, while you sleep, I'm gonna torch your house. You'll have more fire trucks than you'll know what to do with.
- Santa
Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
Love, TeddyDear Teddy,
What, and ruin that hot affair your dad's still having with the babysitter? He's banging her like a screen door in a hurricane, son! Let me get you some nice Legos instead.
- Santa
Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the backdoor.
Love, SusanDear Susan,
Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the reindeer fart in my face. You want to be a kiss-ass? Leave me a bottle of Jaegermeister and a couple of Cohibas!
-Santa
__________________ Two kids are arguing over whose father is the biggest scaredy-cat.
The first kid says, "My dad is so scared that when
lightning strikes, he hides underneath the bed."
The second kid replies, "Yeah? Well, that's nothing.
My dad is so scared that when my mom has to work the
nightshift, he sleeps with the lady next door."
______________ Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you are done you will have a place to live.
Q: Where can women over the age of 50 find young, sexy men, who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore under fiction.BUFFALO'S
MoviesHeadache Cure
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http://www.lablaughs.com/adult_ toon.php? id=A20051221 New Screen Cleaner
http://www.lablaughs.com/clean_ toon.php? id=C20000717 THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
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