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THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
where the world goes for its daily dose of humor!
(made in the USA)
THIS EZINE IS FREE TO ALL WHO ASK FOR IT adult humor. wanna subscribe? send a blank email to:
PostmansCorner-
Disclaimer.:
Don't like what you read?
keep yer comments to yerself,
I don't give a rip:)
wanna unsubscribe? don't bug the list owner, he'll just send you a nasty email.
just hit reply to this email and...cya!!!
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
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I know Christmas is over...but being from Michigan,
I couldn't help but not publish this one
(sorry Democrats)
http://www.thepostm
I know Christmas is over...but being from Michigan,
I couldn't help but not publish this one
(sorry Democrats)
THE DEMOCROOKS GOT US AGAIN
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the state,
the people were starving while Granholm ate steak.
She looked at her administration and said with a laugh,
"We evicted them all. Who else can we shaft?"
"Please pass me the steak, I'll give it some thought.
Don't waste all this food the taxpayers bought."
She looked out the window all snowy and cold, when up she did jump:
"Let's go after the old."
We'll go after their pensions, their Medicare and all,
we'll make their lives miserable, we'll all have a ball.
They talked about prisons, the inmates and staff,
with a gleam in her eye said, "The guards we can shaft."
We'll lay off large numbers, we'll work them alone.
We don't give a darn, we're safe in our home.
They all raised their glasses, said a toast we must do:
"Here's to all the poor people and homeless we screw."
We'll take all their welfare, their food and their heat;
we'll shut down some prisons, put the cons on the street.
We'll put them on tethers, probation and parole,
and turn them all loose, with no place to go.
They won't have a job, they'll live on the street.
Their only survival is whom they rob, rape or beat.
So up they did jump after a wonderful meal.
They jumped in their foreign cars, no Fords, or Oldsmobiles.
All through the night they sped like the wind,
"Don't worry about tickets, the cops are our friends."
So to all of the jobless", she flashed a big grin,
"You have nothing coming, and you voted us in."
____________________
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the state,
the people were starving while Granholm ate steak.
She looked at her administration and said with a laugh,
"We evicted them all. Who else can we shaft?"
"Please pass me the steak, I'll give it some thought.
Don't waste all this food the taxpayers bought."
She looked out the window all snowy and cold, when up she did jump:
"Let's go after the old."
We'll go after their pensions, their Medicare and all,
we'll make their lives miserable, we'll all have a ball.
They talked about prisons, the inmates and staff,
with a gleam in her eye said, "The guards we can shaft."
We'll lay off large numbers, we'll work them alone.
We don't give a darn, we're safe in our home.
They all raised their glasses, said a toast we must do:
"Here's to all the poor people and homeless we screw."
We'll take all their welfare, their food and their heat;
we'll shut down some prisons, put the cons on the street.
We'll put them on tethers, probation and parole,
and turn them all loose, with no place to go.
They won't have a job, they'll live on the street.
Their only survival is whom they rob, rape or beat.
So up they did jump after a wonderful meal.
They jumped in their foreign cars, no Fords, or Oldsmobiles.
All through the night they sped like the wind,
"Don't worry about tickets, the cops are our friends."
So to all of the jobless", she flashed a big grin,
"You have nothing coming, and you voted us in."
____________
A mute was walking down the street one day and chanced upon a
friend of his; also a mute.
In sign language, he inquired how his friend had been doing.
The friend replied (vocally!)
"Oh, can that hand-waving shit. I can talk now!"
Intrigued, the mute pressed him for details. Seems he had gone to
a specialist, who, seeing no physical damage, had put him on a
treatment program that had restored the use of his vocal chords.
Gesturing wildly, the mute asked if he might meet this specialist.
They got an appointment that very afternoon. After an exam, the
specialist proclaimed that he had found no permanent damage. The
mute was essentially in the same condition as his buddy, and that
there was no reason why he couldn't be helped as well.
"Yes, yes" signed the mute. "Let's have the first treatment right now!"
"Very well," replied the specialist. "Kindly go into the next
room, drop your pants and lean over the examining table.
I'll be right in."
The mute does as instructed, and the doctor snuck in carrying a
broomstick, a mallet and a jar of Vaseline. Greasing the broom
handle, he 'sent it home' with a deft swipe of the mallet.
The mute jumped from the table, screaming,
"AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaa!!!"
"VERY good," smiled the doctor. "Next Tuesday, we work on 'B'."
____________________
friend of his; also a mute.
In sign language, he inquired how his friend had been doing.
The friend replied (vocally!)
"Oh, can that hand-waving shit. I can talk now!"
Intrigued, the mute pressed him for details. Seems he had gone to
a specialist, who, seeing no physical damage, had put him on a
treatment program that had restored the use of his vocal chords.
Gesturing wildly, the mute asked if he might meet this specialist.
They got an appointment that very afternoon. After an exam, the
specialist proclaimed that he had found no permanent damage. The
mute was essentially in the same condition as his buddy, and that
there was no reason why he couldn't be helped as well.
"Yes, yes" signed the mute. "Let's have the first treatment right now!"
"Very well," replied the specialist. "Kindly go into the next
room, drop your pants and lean over the examining table.
I'll be right in."
The mute does as instructed, and the doctor snuck in carrying a
broomstick, a mallet and a jar of Vaseline. Greasing the broom
handle, he 'sent it home' with a deft swipe of the mallet.
The mute jumped from the table, screaming,
"AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaa
"VERY good," smiled the doctor. "Next Tuesday, we work on 'B'."
____________
A blonde named Darla had applied for a job, and when she returned home,
her mother asked how the interview went.
"Pretty good, I think," replied Darla, "but if I go to work there I
won't get a vacation until I'm married."
Her mother, of course, had never heard of such a thing. "Is that what
they told you?"
"No", replied Darla, "but right on the application it said 'Vacation
time may not be taken until you've had your First Anniversary.'"
________________
her mother asked how the interview went.
"Pretty good, I think," replied Darla, "but if I go to work there I
won't get a vacation until I'm married."
Her mother, of course, had never heard of such a thing. "Is that what
they told you?"
"No", replied Darla, "but right on the application it said 'Vacation
time may not be taken until you've had your First Anniversary.
____________
A wealthy playboy met a beautiful young girl in an exclusive
lounge. He took her to his lavish apartment where he soon
discovered she was not a tramp, but was well groomed and
apparently very intelligent.
Hoping to impress her, he began showing her his collection of
expensive paintings, first editions by famous authors and offered
her a glass of wine.
He asked whether she preferred Port or Sherry and she said,
"Oh, Sherry by all means. To me, it's the nectar of the gods.
Just looking at it in a crystal-clear decanter fills me with a
glorious sense of anticipation. When the stopper is removed and
the gorgeous liquid is poured into my glass, I inhale the
enchanting aroma and I'm lifted on the wings of ecstasy. It seems
as though I'm about to drink a magic potion and my whole being
begins to glow. The sound of a thousand violins being softly
played fills my ears and I'm transported into another world.
Port, on the other hand, makes me fart."
_____________________
lounge. He took her to his lavish apartment where he soon
discovered she was not a tramp, but was well groomed and
apparently very intelligent.
Hoping to impress her, he began showing her his collection of
expensive paintings, first editions by famous authors and offered
her a glass of wine.
He asked whether she preferred Port or Sherry and she said,
"Oh, Sherry by all means. To me, it's the nectar of the gods.
Just looking at it in a crystal-clear decanter fills me with a
glorious sense of anticipation. When the stopper is removed and
the gorgeous liquid is poured into my glass, I inhale the
enchanting aroma and I'm lifted on the wings of ecstasy. It seems
as though I'm about to drink a magic potion and my whole being
begins to glow. The sound of a thousand violins being softly
played fills my ears and I'm transported into another world.
Port, on the other hand, makes me fart."
____________
Mr. Clemens was vacationing on a riverboat casino on the Mississippi
with his wife. By the second day, they were already fighting.
"Your dresses are too tight," he screamed. "You look like a tramp."
"Oh," she replied, "You want to see me in something long and flowing?
If you find something long and flowing, let me know and I'll get in it."
So he pushed her into the river.
________________
with his wife. By the second day, they were already fighting.
"Your dresses are too tight," he screamed. "You look like a tramp."
"Oh," she replied, "You want to see me in something long and flowing?
If you find something long and flowing, let me know and I'll get in it."
So he pushed her into the river.
____________
A woman says to her mother, "I'm divorcing Sheldon! All
he wants is anal sex and my rear end is now the size of
a 50 cent piece when it used to be the size of a 5 cent piece."
Mother says "You're married to a multi-millionaire
businessman, you live in an 8 bedroom mansion, you drive
a Ferrari, you get $3,000 a week allowance, you take 6
vacations a year and you want to throw all that away
for 45 cents?
___________
he wants is anal sex and my rear end is now the size of
a 50 cent piece when it used to be the size of a 5 cent piece."
Mother says "You're married to a multi-millionaire
businessman, you live in an 8 bedroom mansion, you drive
a Ferrari, you get $3,000 a week allowance, you take 6
vacations a year and you want to throw all that away
for 45 cents?
___________
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THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman!
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