Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I have been spending some time watching the Cartoon
Network and Discovery Channel the past few days. Discovery
has been introducing two new shows Smash labs and Some
Assembly Required that are aimed at the primarily male
interest of building things and blowing things up. Oh
sure there are quite a few women out there who are
engineers and explosive experts but personally I don't
want to let my wife near anything that she can blow me
up with. The opening show they sprayed a building with
Rhino truck bed liner and then blew it up. Pretty
impressive how it will handle a large explosion and stay
standing. The some assembly required opener followed
building glass from sand to shatterproof doors with
people handling large sheets dressed in Kevlar clothes
and gloves.
Today they are also running a Survivor Man marathon.
This poor guy must hate going to work each week and
finding out what the menu is for the next show. He
has eaten all sorts of bugs, snakes, small critters,
and had to wash it down with his own urine. The normal
survival instructor will tell you how great bugs taste
but Bear will tell you that it tastes awful like
cold rotten cheese or gooey snot. I was watching his
shoot in the Andes where he was talking about the
cannibal plane crash survivors and waiting for him
to break out an arm from somewhere and start munching
on it with a, " Tastes just like Chicken." comment.
It is knowing a little bit about survival that kept
the family of four alive that got lost looking for
a Christmas tree. So even though we may never have
to survive in the Sahara Desert or on a glacier in
Peru there is a lesson to be learned about right
around us.
Comedy Channel has been running marathons of some
of my favorite cartoons and last night was Futurama.
I watched about six hours worth last night when I
should have been sleeping.
Hope you have a great weekend... buffalo
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Friends Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Friends
Friends: Borrow your stuff for a few days and then give it back.
Military Friends: Borrow your stuff, keep it, and it goes PCS with
them.
Friends: Know a few things about you.
Military Friends: Know all about you or have met someone else at
another
duty station who does.
Friends: Will leave you behind if that's what the crowd is doing.
Military Friends: Cry like babies because they HAVE to leave you.
Friends: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs.
Military Friends: Call your parents Mom and Dad.
Friends: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
Military Friends: Would be sitting in jail next to you saying, "Man,
they made a BIG mistake trying to jump us."
Friends: Have never seen you cry.
Military Friends: Cry with you.
Friends: Will knock on your front door
Military Friends: Walk right in and say, "I'm home."
Friends: Are your friends for a while
Military Friends: Are your friends for life as you move about this
country or the world.
Friends: Will ignore this.
Military Friends: Will forward this
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Dept. Of Sexual Studies
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New York Coin
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Nurse Nasty
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Handy Calendar Clock http://www.ezines4a
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Dog In Hiding From Hitman
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Name Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three guys are walking down the beach ...when they
see this beautiful woman laying naked on the beach.
Well, the first guy goes over to her and starts making
love to her, when she says "What will we name the child?"
The guy freaks and runs away.
So the second guy goes over to her and starts 'doing his thing' when
she says "What will we name the child?" He freaks out also and runs
away.
The third guy has been watching all this. So he puts on a condom and
goes to do his thing. When she says "What will we name the child?"
He ignores her and keeps on going. She keeps asking but he keeps
going. Finally he finishes and pulls off the condom, ties a knot in
the end of the rubber and throws it in the ocean.
He turns to the girl and says, "If he gets out of that, we'll call
him Houdini."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Handy Switch only works with lamps or other devices that plug into
the wall.
The range is approximately 60 feet, and the radio frequency it uses
will penetrate walls.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Canadian Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
What *Provincial* Mottos Should Be:
British Columbia: Come Try Our Pot
Alberta: Mostly Flat, Except For That Bumpy Bit In The Corner.
Saskatchewan: Roadmap, Scmoadmap, All You Need Is Graph Paper.
Manitoba: Mosquito Hunting Season: June-September. Bring Your Shotgun
Ontario: The Province That The Rest Of Canada Loves To Hate
Quebec: Dis His A Stickup. Give Hus Hall Your Money Hor We Will
Separate
New Brunswick: We Had A Fast Boat A Century Ago, And Nobody's Heard
From Us Since
Prince Edward Island: Now Prince Edward On A Stick
Nova Scotia: Those Who Can, Sail. Those Who Can't Move To Toronto
Newfoundland: It's Squid-Jigging Time, Byes!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
She looked like such a sweet little old lady, driving
the cute Toyota with a bumper sticker that said, "Grow
your own dope."
How sweet, I thought, must be a medical marijuana
patient.
Then I noticed the rest of her message ... "Plant a man."
My Dad said to my Mother, "You should go bra-less."
She says, "Do you think my breasts are still perky
enough?"
He says, "No, but maybe it'd pull the wrinkles out of
your face."
Many patients call the pathology group where I am
office manager to discuss their medical bills. One
irate woman demanded that I describe every laboratory
test on her statement.
Reluctantly, I complied. Starting with the first test
on her bill, I read, "No. 1, urinalysis."
She interrupted me at once. "I'm a what?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Elephant Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bloke walks into a bar with an elephant. "This elephant will do
anything," he announces proudly.
"All right," says the barman. "Make it stand on one leg."
So the bloke lifts the elephant's ear up and whispers something to
the elephant. Moments later the great grey beast lifts itself up onto
its hind legs then carefully balances itself up on one leg. The crowd
in the bar go wild with enthusiastic cheering.
"Very clever," says the barman. "Now lets see it fuck my cat." And so
saying, he plonks the genial bar cat onto the bar.
The bloke with the elephant thinks a moment then takes the cat and
places it on the floor in front of the elephant (who is still poised
Bolshoi like on one leg). He gets up on tip toe and whispers
something in the elephant's ear. As silence descends on the drinkers
in the bar, the man steps back and the elephant teeters over and
comes crashing down, splattering Tiddles across the floor.
"There you go," says the bloke. "That's fucked it."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Zipper Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here are a few ways to tell someone they are 'flying low' as we used
to say in grade school:
Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction.
You've got Windows on your laptop.
Sailor Ned's trying to take a little shore leave.
Your dork is ajar.
Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bells.
I can see your Gap dancers.
Paging Mr. Johnson... Paging Mr. Johnson...
Your pod bay door is open, Hal.
Elvis Junior has left the building!
Mini Me is making a break for the escape pod.
Ensign Hanes is reporting a hull breach on the lower deck, Sir!
Captain, sensors detect a wormhole in the forward quadrant!
Lil' Shaq's at the free show line.
You've got your fly set for "Monica" instead of "Hillary."
You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones.
I see you have an opening in senior management.
Men are From Mars, women can see your penis.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
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Subscribers and Friends
Connie Sue w/ Happy New Year 2008
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
New Year Tags
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New Years:
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Movies
I Like Big Tits
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isnt spring great
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JURASSIC
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karaoke ditz
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bud Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three men are walking down the street. One is from California, one is
from New York, and the last is from St. Louis.
A good looking woman walks by ... the man from California
states "She's about an 8."
The man from New York states "No, no ... she's a 6."
The man from St. Louis says "Hell no, she's a 1."
The two men look at the guy from St. Louis and turn to each other and
say, "Well, she was not that good looking."
All three continue walking down the strip. As chance happens another
woman walks by. She is more beautiful than the first.
The man from California exclaims "9"
The man from New York cries "8.5"
The man from St. Louis says "2"
The man from California and New York State, "I guess it takes all
types."
Finally an extremely beautiful woman crosses their line of sight.
The man from California and New York simultaneously state "10"
The man from St. Louis states loudly, "3.5"
The man from New York asks the man from St. Louis, "What the hell is
wrong with you?" "Are you gay?" "She was beautiful!"
The man from St. Louis turns to him and says, "I'm using the
Budweiser method."
The man from California asks "What is that?"
The man from St. Louis responds "The Budweiser method is to see how
many Clydesdales (horses) it would take to pull her off my face."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Virginity YES
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He-She
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Romance
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Cleaning Around the .........?
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Dick
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Dado Rail
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Sex on the Beach
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grafilthy
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the movies
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surprise
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young woman of Sydney
Who could take it clear up to the kidney.
But the thrust of Alphonse
Barely reached to her mons
So he left her unsatisfied, didney?
____________
There was a young man from Cape Horn
Who wished he had never been born,
And he wouldn't have been,
If his father has seen
That the tip of his condom was torn.
____________
There was a young lady of Spain
Whose face was excessively plain
But her cunt had a pucker
That made the men fuck'er
Again and again and again.
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Nick's wife had her second child she purchased
Nick a blue T-shirt for father's day with big white
letters NTSD on the front. Her friend asked her at work
one day what the letters meant. She replied," Nick
thinks it means Nick's The Special Dad but actually it
stands for Not The Sperm Donor".
Q: Where do blondes go to meet their relatives?
A: The vegetable garden.
Bill asks Jim to go with him for a drink.
Jim replies, "Sorry Bill, I have to go to the drug-
store to pick up a 'patch' subscription for my wife.
She's quitting smoking today."
"Oh okay, well, good luck to her!" Bill said.
"Yeah, well it is really lucky me," grinned Jim."I told
her to let me know any time she has an urge to put
something in her mouth to suck on.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Japanese have invented the perfect woman robot. It has 5 buttons.
1. Fuck
2. Suck
3. Cook
4. Clean
5. Off
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1184
A Howling Success
Rudy, for several years, has deferred to Sandi and Katie in his
sleeping
habits. He has, until the past few weeks, slept on the floor next to
BJ.
However, the past several weeks Rudy has been creeping closer to
becoming one of the pack. One must realize the bed is of limited size
and dogs of Rudy's and Sandi's size take up quite a bit of space.
Katie
while the smallest in weight, is the longest and tallest of the dogs
so
she takes her fair share of space. What this all leads up to is the
battle
of the paws.
Katie is nestled in next to father, as is Sandi. Everyone is
expecting
another tranquil night's rest...
Rutherford has his own plan...tonight things are about to change.
For Rudy has had enough.
BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK!!!!!!!!
BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK!!!!
Sandi/Katie/
BJ: What is it Rudy, burglars?
BARK BARK BARK!!!
Sandi and Katie charge to the front door: We shall protect you!
BJ lets them out, Rudy watches them go and then casually strolls
down to BJ's bed.
Rudy: Come on Pops. I am tired.
BJ: That's it!
Rudy: Sure that to get them twerps out of here.
BJ: It is cold and snowing outside.
Rudy: Do them good. You can let them in, but I have my spot.
The herd in Guthrie
(I let them back in, but Rudy had his spot and the others were
tricked.
This has happened before but it has been Katie who has led the others
out the door then she zoomed to the bed.)
takes her space in bed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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